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Yorktown1942: With Regards to Replysad_smile
loarthan 4 Reviews 9681 reads
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[NOTE TO SELF] Disregard anything posted by idiots! [/NOTE TO SELF]
[NOTE TO SELF] People read what they want to read! [/NOTE TO SELF]

Backchanneling the truth is a good and acceptable practice.
Backchanneling falsehoods is the behavior of a cad.
Backchanneling every intimate detail of an encounter is just plain stupid.

A provider is always a woman, first and foremost.  Protecting women is the action/duty of good & honorable gentlemen.  

I stand by my posting and my actions.  If some group of hobbysts chooses to not backchannel with me because of this, I am no less of a gentleman for their decision.  (See additional comments below)

I am glad to have protected Melinda and would do so for any woman under the same or similar circumstance.

By the way, for those that have implied such earlier in this thread, I NEVER alias my postings.  I always take the good and the bad straight on.  If you have a problem with me, feel free to take it up with me here or by email (if you still have the personal honor to backchannel with someone that takes the safety of women seriously).

Regards,
Loarthan

Additional Thoughts
-------------------

Diving into the most intimate details of one's experience with a woman, regardless of the circumstances, is uncalled for, boorish and tasteless.  One can relate the necessary details without the need to advertise every nuance of an encounter.  If you can't, then you might want to consider NOT backchanneling.  Bragging about one's sexual exploits at a level of overly-fine detail is the purview (sp) of high-schoolers and boorish morons.

Can't we engage in the hobby and still remain gentlemen in the process?  Frequenting a courtesan is an acceptable and honorable practice for gentlemen in almost every civilized country in the world, except the United States.  Here, many engage in the practice with all the flair of a teenager coping a feel on his first date.  We, as hobbysts, should all take a step back, grow up a bit and remember we are suppose to be worldly gentlemen not schoolboys on the prowl!



-- Modified on 7/28/2003 6:15:47 AM

-- Modified on 7/28/2003 6:16:54 AM

-- Modified on 7/28/2003 6:17:35 AM

-- Modified on 7/28/2003 6:19:10 AM

-- Modified on 7/28/2003 6:21:52 AM

loarthan12993 reads

I had a rather disappointing event happen the other day involving a backchanneling reference between myself and another hobbyst about a provider.

I took all the precautions to protect the provider while supplying a gentlemanly amount of information to assure the other hobbyst that she was not a problem either economically or in performance.  No intimate details of our encounters, but rather, her preferences, rules, costs, performance (not a clockwatcher, smells great, very pleasant, eager, etc).

At the end of our conversation (pleasant enough to this point), he proceeds to share (I guess it was his way of reciprocating) very intimate details about a provider I am going to be seeing in the future.  I stopped him early in his discussion because the services he described (in great detail and with relish) didn't ring true.  I have previously talked with this provider and have gotten to know her as best one can over the phone, and the details he mentioned DID NOT balance with her (our) discussions.

I called her today and told her about the conversation (for her sake, not his) and she was shocked to say the least.  In the end, I gave her as much information about him as I could in a hope it would aid her in protecting herself.

I guess this boils down to the fact that, when backchanneling with the purpose of referencing a provider, it would seem only proper to keep things to specific details and keep the intimate information to oneself.

I am curious as to what a provider might like a good client to tell a prospective client when a reference is being sought?

Thanks,
Loarthan



-- Modified on 7/26/2003 10:17:18 AM

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Aphrodisia10578 reads

Where have you been my Loathe?  Where is MY promised phone call? (tho' I do appreciate your being on the up and up).

Personally I find back channelling to be masogenistic..but hey, I'm justa gurlie WHO&!

I feel 'dejected' T..woe is me! lol

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A Spectator9144 reads

this board before.  Barging into your local board as an outsider and commenting on matter you cared about is probably not a gentleman act on my part.

Nonetheless, there are many occasions where a hobbyist/client got very high mileage from a lady even though he might not necessary be a regular of hers.  I have personally encountered a few such cases.

Just yesterday, when I communicated through email with a FBSM lady I have never seen before about a serious subject, she basically admitted that she did provide extras to a few clients in a moment of passion even though she had strongly denied that on previous occasations when those tales surfaced in reviews.  There are simply no way for a third party to know who is telling the truth.

I am not the type to wave a review in front of a lady or use tales I heard before to pressure a lady to do things she didn't want to do with me.  Kiss and tell is not the good behavior of a gentleman.

However, since this site is devoted to sharing info among members with a certain level of specificity, you can't really fault another guy for sharing some insider info to you which he thought you might want to know.

Unless you really know that lady well and heard her complaining about clients trying to get that kind of extra service from her, I am not sure you're doing the right thing by telling her what you learned.

Since that kind of info is often very specific, if in fact those acts actually happened, you're basically putting the other hobbyist on the hot seat while he was just trying to help his fellow members to understand what is possible if he is lucky.

This is not to say that a hobbyist should communicate that kind of info to everyone or someone who has no credentials.  As in real life, nothing is set in stone.  I am just no sure you've done the right thing in this case.

GC

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Melanie Love8048 reads



-- Modified on 7/27/2003 5:01:29 PM

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Melanie Love11951 reads

It was me, that Loar was referencing to, at the bottom of his post. He had a conversation with a guy, who is claiming that I do greek, and other acts, that are NOT ever on my menu. It is not fair to me, as a provider, for anyone to say that I offer Greek, and other acts, which is never performed.   So, lets not point fingers so fast here at Loarthan. The fingers should be pointed at the guy, who decided to make a mockery at himself, for lying about ever meeting with me (trust me, I would have recognized his name)and doing these type of acts.  Gentlemen, if you want to know what I do and don't do, please either look at my reviews, or go directly to the horses mouth (me), and I have no issues in telling you what is on the menu (and not) ;)

Again,

Thanks Loarthan, to me, you are a gentleman in every way, and thanks for looking out for me. We providers need more men like you.

Mel :)



-- Modified on 7/27/2003 3:24:38 PM

Related Link: http://www.voluptuousblackbeauty.com/

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orthodx9167 reads

public forum.  As long as the 2 parties agree to the level of the communication, I see no problem with that.  As always unless you are telling whoppers or jokes, when referring to another person, we hope the truth would be told and confidences kept but again that is up to the people involved.  I have several back channel friends who will provide reviews on people they have not put on the public forum.  Not all things need to be public.
I can't help but notice you used your alias instead of your real name.  This is a pretty benign topic to use an alias for.

Forgive me for barging in on your board.  The word is out you have a provider missing and I am sure the rest of the concerned community will be monitoring your board until someone talks to her or goes to her house to reassure all that she is safe.
Our prayers are with her and her friends on this board

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A Spectator10637 reads

this thread.  (The envelope and the one review on the upper right corner.)

-- Modified on 7/27/2003 11:41:59 AM

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orthodx8589 reads

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Melanie Love8513 reads

I don't agree with non-factional and overyly hyped back-channeling. In this case, Loar did the right thing. Back channeling with the proper intentions with CORRECT info is one thing, but to say that I did things that are not the truth, IS ANOTHER.

Loar told me this, so I can be aware of the guy. Can anyone tell me, why in hells bells I would want to see a guy, who is saying that I am doing all these things, which is not true? Is it just me, or am I seeing the "hi-five" and that it's okay to say whatever  you want about the provider without any back up and proof, and to make yourself look good. For as long as I have been on this board, any person can go back into my history  on TER and put A and B together, and know that I don't do Greek.

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Yorktown19429757 reads

[Writes in notebook] Do not back channel with loarthan [/writes in notebook]

Usually back channeling is a private communication between people. If you are willing to share that private conversation with anyone, I think it says something. The fact that you posted publicly that you did this is interesting.

Whose to say that this person didn't receive the services he mentioned. Perhaps she, as a rule, she doesn't do somethings with clients, but did with him. I've had this before and have been asked not to say I got such services (which I have agreed to). By mentioning your private conversation you have jeopardized this persons relationship with this provider for no reason - or perhaps to put yourself in better standing with her. Who knows.


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Melanie Love8890 reads

I don't do greek. Everyone who knows me, knows that. Also, the guy said that I did some other things, that I would NEVER EVER DO. I should Know better than anyone what I do and don't do, and THAT (Greek) I just don't do (what a tongue twister lol).

Yes, you are correct in saying that this will have effect on me and that guy who flapped his gums: I have NO plans in ever seeing him. The only time he wil be seeing me, is in his imagination ONLY. I wouldn't even recommend any of the ladies to see him, as well.

Mel

-- Modified on 7/27/2003 5:05:50 PM

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loarthan9682 reads

[NOTE TO SELF] Disregard anything posted by idiots! [/NOTE TO SELF]
[NOTE TO SELF] People read what they want to read! [/NOTE TO SELF]

Backchanneling the truth is a good and acceptable practice.
Backchanneling falsehoods is the behavior of a cad.
Backchanneling every intimate detail of an encounter is just plain stupid.

A provider is always a woman, first and foremost.  Protecting women is the action/duty of good & honorable gentlemen.  

I stand by my posting and my actions.  If some group of hobbysts chooses to not backchannel with me because of this, I am no less of a gentleman for their decision.  (See additional comments below)

I am glad to have protected Melinda and would do so for any woman under the same or similar circumstance.

By the way, for those that have implied such earlier in this thread, I NEVER alias my postings.  I always take the good and the bad straight on.  If you have a problem with me, feel free to take it up with me here or by email (if you still have the personal honor to backchannel with someone that takes the safety of women seriously).

Regards,
Loarthan

Additional Thoughts
-------------------

Diving into the most intimate details of one's experience with a woman, regardless of the circumstances, is uncalled for, boorish and tasteless.  One can relate the necessary details without the need to advertise every nuance of an encounter.  If you can't, then you might want to consider NOT backchanneling.  Bragging about one's sexual exploits at a level of overly-fine detail is the purview (sp) of high-schoolers and boorish morons.

Can't we engage in the hobby and still remain gentlemen in the process?  Frequenting a courtesan is an acceptable and honorable practice for gentlemen in almost every civilized country in the world, except the United States.  Here, many engage in the practice with all the flair of a teenager coping a feel on his first date.  We, as hobbysts, should all take a step back, grow up a bit and remember we are suppose to be worldly gentlemen not schoolboys on the prowl!



-- Modified on 7/28/2003 6:15:47 AM

-- Modified on 7/28/2003 6:16:54 AM

-- Modified on 7/28/2003 6:17:35 AM

-- Modified on 7/28/2003 6:19:10 AM

-- Modified on 7/28/2003 6:21:52 AM

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loarthan10511 reads

... you have a very suspect air about yourself!

For the most part, I assume when a woman says she doesn't do something, she means it.

Should she choose to offer something to someone privately, that is between them.  Just remember that her rules are what we have to play by, not her exceptions.

In Melinda's case, I have absolutely no reason to believe she would make exceptions to the "no anal" rule.  Most women with this rule seem to stick by it in most cases.

As for my little friend with the big mouth and the lying attitude, he said other things in our conversation that make me even more convinced he was "truth-challenged".  Bringing him up short and calling him on this was the gentlemanly thing to do.  Protecting Melinda by telling her about it is not even up for debate, it is automatic in my book.

I think you need to reconsider how you arrived at your position in your post.  Most folks are honest by nature.  A suspect attitude sometimes indicates a less than honest approach in one's own personal experiences.

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singleton11555 reads

"I am curious as to what a provider might like a good client to tell a prospective client when a reference is being sought" -- Loarthan


the flip side to this is what would the _prospective client_ want the good client to tell him ... without any undue influence from the provider herself!

speaking generally (and not about this case) i feel that backchanneling is about truthful and honest exchange of info that one can not get elsewhere. this includes those "details" that some may have left out. as long as there's no treachery or deceit involved (and i guess within the bounds of common decency with language) there's nothing wrong with being explicit and meticulous about the information exchange.

what one would like is a situation when gentlemen who are backchanneling each other have NOT become (however unwittingly) a shill for the provider. or the opposite of that, a resentful jilted ex-client who does nothing but tarnish her reputation and damage her business

again, i'm speaking generally and i don't know (nor do i particularly wanna know) anything about this particular case.









-- Modified on 7/27/2003 4:52:46 PM

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Melanie Love10069 reads

But in this case, IT WAS NOT. Infact, if Loar never mentioned it to me, it could have been that this particular guy (not Loar) could have flapped his gums to the wrong guy, causing this guy to make an appt. expecting "X", "Y", and "Z", when I would only do A thru W lol ;)

I am not sorry to say this, but Loar did the right thing, and that I am thankful for :)

Mel :)

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Magnum9172 reads

Hi, I wish I had more time to post a better message, but, Loarthan, you did the right thing. We all have a right to separate fact from fiction. That someone would 'enhance' his experience with a lady via backchannel smells of high school locker room conversation. It is childish and it is also dangerous to the lady if someone shows up expecting x, and gets y. How do we know information isn't being passed to a nutcase that won't get violent when all his dreams and wishes don't come true. Unrealistic expectations can get someone hurt. We shouldn't be setting any, either in a review or the backchannel.

You did the right thing to warn Mel that this hobbyist was spreading mis-information...

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