it sounds like he was using head cold as another timing issue excuse to push you back a little more without thinking that sickness would be an issue.
I'd assume that it's an understood fact that if either person has a cold, the appointment gets rescheduled? xx WhitHey guys and gals,
Tell me if I was wrong. I had made plans to meet this gent in Boston last night @ 7pm. But after chatting we agreed that traffic was ridiculous. He came from CT and just got to the hotel at 6:30, telling me the traffic was insane. I just got off of RTE 1 to go home first and agreed completely that it was way too busy, so we made plans for this morning at 10am.
I called him twice this morning and his phone when straight to VM. He finally called me and said his phone was on, whatever, that phone signal stuff does happen. So it's 9:30 am I could have been there at 10:15, but I sensed something was wrong, so I asked if everything is okay. He says that he's getting a head cold but wants to know if I can still be there by 10am.
WHAT? You're telling me you're getting sick but still expect me to come see you? I would NEVER do that to someone else. If I had a head cold and had an appt, I would let the guy know and let him decide if he wants to risk becoming sick as well. I wouldn't get mad...
So all he says to me is "So, you're not coming after all? This whole thing has been too difficult."
I said "so all you care about is me coming to see you with complete disregard of passing whatever you have on to me?" I said, "yes I can absolutely be there by 10-10:15 but I don't want to get sick"
Did I do something wrong? The guy seemed rather pissed off. I just got over a serious head cold, I don't want another one.
I suppose I could have said "yeah, I can see you but you can't kiss me" but what fun is that?
I feel bad because he wanted to see me before but I was unavailable. Whatever, I'm just venting...
Happy holidays everybody!
Kisses,
Ana
-- Modified on 12/24/2013 10:38:02 AM
From the hobbyist side, I've had a good number of experiences where the provider has major sniffles and this is always frustrating. I'd rather be given the option along the lines of "Hey, I woke up with a head cold and want you to know. If you want to cancel, I understand. Or I can see you but we might need to take some precautions so you don't catch my cold."
Merry Christmas!
clearthynker is thinking very clearly. His advice is spot on!
I look at it like.. That's your living.. I don't want to mess that up.. one thing if you don'tknow you are getting something.. but anotherif you know and don't care.. It's wintertime.. and stuff gets around..
I think the fact that he still expected you to come is just terrible!
Two weeks ago I was planning to see a provider that I see rather regularly but on that morning realized that I was getting a cold sore and didn't call her until all the traces of it were gone which took two weeks. I could've still gone on that day because initially it didn't show but I think if a hobbyist knows that he is getting a cold or something or a cold sore or what have you and still expects provider to see him it is just so inconsiderate and unethical that in a more traditional societies it would be a cause for all kind of violence.
But the same goes when a provider does something similar to hobbyist too.
I wouldn't be surprised if in places like Holland where prostitution is legal things like that could lead to some sort of charges whether civil or criminal. Kind of "knowingly and purposefully disregarding the consequence" or some sort of negligence or something of that nature
whats next charges cause your waitress has the sniffles? that's a bit over board don't ya think?its ethical if anything.
When either the provider or the hobbiest is not feeling well, it is just common courtesy to let the other know, and the decision can be made mutually
It is unhealthy in a myriad of ways as well as unethical to be playing or expecting someone to play with a cold, flu, infection, or any type of infectious process. It is also unbelievably selfish. There are those out there who will play with all matter of contagious illness' as well as std's among other things and continue to work and offer risky services without regard to anyone. There are also those that are bug chasers and don't care.
I am hyper vigilant about my health and care about the health and safety of those around me. I refuse to take risks, it is unreasonable for anyone to ask you to compromise your health ever.
This shouldn't just matter during the winter but year round. So don't forget to wash your hands, sing happy birthday as you do it and scrub up in the shower top to bottom with your favorite lady. Gargle with alcohol free mouth wash (no brushing your teeth 30 min prior to fun time to avoid micro abrasions) to remove bacteria and bad breath. Also make sure your nails are trimmed clean and filed to prevent micro tears.
Flu shots and a bit of prevention and holding off when you aren't feeling good can make things much better and heighten the anticipation and special moment with your lady friend when it is time to have some good clean dirty fun!
Grac
In fact you handled the situation quite nicely and were very open and honest with him. It's definitely not right to subject you to getting another head cold. Don't feel bad as you didn't do anything wrong. Hopefully he will reschedule with you once he's healthy again.
care what he thinks for that matter!
Every year I find it crazy that we in this hobby on both sides feel the need to justify our outrage of this behavior.
If you are sick you shouldn't be playin in this industry.
all stay well.
... and don't feel bad about caring for yourself when he obviously didn't.
There are guys who simply don't give a crap about you but luckily they're the minority.
it sounds like he was using head cold as another timing issue excuse to push you back a little more without thinking that sickness would be an issue.
I'd assume that it's an understood fact that if either person has a cold, the appointment gets rescheduled?
xx
Whit
You would think. But because we didn't get together the night before due to the ridiculous traffic, and then the next morning fiasco he was just pissed off. He said it so casually too, like we were talking about the weather. Lol
"Yeah, Im a bit stuffy, think I'm getting a head cold, okay are we still on for 10am?" Ridiculous
No he won't be rescheduling, he wrote an email saying I was a complete waste of time.
No worries. Thanks all for the support. I'm usually pretty secure of the decisions I make when taking part in this hobby. But, every once in a while I second guess myself. Like we all do I'm sure.
Hope everybody had a safe and fun holiday!
Kisses,
Ana
with someone in this business, you do not need to even focus on how they see it. At that point its not even about them. Your best interest carries weight too. Don't minimize your importance here.
If we don't respect ourselves and hold a high standard no one else will either.
You have the right and responsibility (to yourself) to maintain good hygiene. I know how vigilant you are about this, and I appreciate it. It's easy to take good health for granted, until you lose it.
I have canceled appts. dates for that reason. It's about catching a great time, not a cold or something else. Everything happens for a reason, if it hadn't been for the traffic, you'd probably be sniffling now. Hope you had a great holiday. See ya soon,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,R