Boston
Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
’Cause they don’t have time!
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While away at a convention, an executive happened to meet a hot, intelligent young lady. When he finally persuaded her to disrobe in his hotel room, he saw she had a perfect-10 body. Unfortunately for him, he was unable to perform when the time came.
On his first night home, the executive walked from the shower into the bedroom to find his wife all covered up in a wrinkled bath robe, her hair up in curlers, face creamed, munching loudly on some candy while reading through a movie magazine. Then, without a moment’s notice, he feels the onset of a massive erection.
Looking down at this, he snarls aloud, “Now I know why they call you a prick!
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Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town’s name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.
As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the employee, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are…very slowly?”
The blonde leaned over the counter and said, “Burrrrrr gerrrrrr Kiiiing.”
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A young Southern belle walks into a bar after having a very bad day. The bartender asks her what she would like to drink, to which she replies, “What kind of beer do you suggest?”
“Anheuser-Busch?” the bartender says.
The Southern belle then retorts, “Fine thank you. And how’s your dick?”
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An old guy’s car collides with a young guy’s car and both are demolished. The two crawl out of the wreckage, amazed that neither of them was hurt in the accident.
The old guy says, "Look at this miracle! This must surely be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live our lives in peace for the rest of our days."
"Sure," says the young guy, convinced the old man’s crazy.
"And look at this!" says the old guy, reaching back into his car. "A miracle! My car is demolished, but this bottle of 12-year-old Scotch didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink and celebrate our good fortune."
Again the young guy agrees, so the old guy opens the bottle and passes it to him. The young guy smiles and takes several huge swigs, then tries to hand it to the old guy, who, to his surprise, refuses. "Aren’t you having any?" asks the young guy.
"No, thanks," replies the old guy. "I’ll wait for the police."
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