> > > Subject: FORREST GUMP DIES
> > > >
> > > > The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump dies and goes
> > > > to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St.
> > > > Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and
> > > > Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good
> > > > to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must
> > > > tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast,
> > > > and we've been administering an entrance examination
> > > > for everyone. The test is short, but you have to
> > > > pass it before you can get into Heaven."
> > > >
> > > > Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be here , St.
> > > > Peter, sir. But nobody ever tolt me about any
> > > > entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain't too hard;
> > > > life was a big enough test as it was."
> > > >
> > > > St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the
> > > > test is only three questions.
> > > >
> > > > First: What two days of the week begin with the
> > > > letter T?
> > > >
> > > > Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
> > > >
> > > > Third: What is God's first name?"
> > > >
> > > > Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He
> > > > returns the next day and
> > > > sees St. Peter, who waves him up and says, "Now that
> > > > you have had a chance to think the questions over,
> > > > tell me your answers."
> > > >
> > > > Forrest says, "Well, the first one -- which two days
> > > > in the week begin
> > > > with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd
> > > > be Today and Tomorrow.
> > > >
> > > > The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims,
> > > > "Forrest, that's not what I was thinking, but you do
> > > > have a point, and I guess I didn't specify, so I'll
> > > > give you credit for that answer. How about the next
> > > > one?" asks St. Peter.
> > > > "How many seconds in a year?"
> > > >
> > > > "Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk
> > > > and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can
> > > > be twelve."
> > > >
> > > > Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve!?
> > > > Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with
> > > > twelve seconds in a year?"
> > > >
> > > > Forrest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve:
> > > > January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd. . . ...."
> > > >
> > > > "Hold it, " interrupts St. Peter. "I see where
> > > > you're going with this, and I see your point, though
> > > > that wasn't quite what I had in mind.....but I'll
> > > > have to give you credit for that one, too. Let's go
> > > > on with the third and final question. Can you tell
> > > > me God's first name"?
> > > >
> > > > "Sure", Forrest replied, "its Andy."
> > > >
> > > > "Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St.
> > > > Peter. "Ok, I can understand how you came up with
> > > > your answers to my first two questions, but just how
> > > > in the world did you come up with the name Andy as
> > > > the first name of God?"
> > > >
> > > > "Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest
> > > > replied. "I learnt it from the song. . . "ANDY WALKS
> > > > WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS
> > > > OWN. . "
> > > >
> > > > St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run
> > > > Forrest, run."
> > > >
