A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife, "Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. Now I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for, and your answer cannot take that all that away. But, I must know, did he have a different father?"

The wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye, she paused for moment and then confessed. "Yes, yes he did."

The old man is very shaken, the reality of what his wife
was admitting hit him harder than he had expected. With a tear in his eye he asks "Who?.. Who was he? Who was the father?"

Again the old woman drops her head, saying nothing at first as she tried to muster the courage to tell the truth to her husband. Then, finally, she says "You".

_______
On a beautiful sunday morning everybody in town is at church. Then out of nowhere the devil apears and everybody starts screaming and running out the doors, tripping over each other. All but one old man. The devil is confused and walks up to him and asks if he knows who he is. The old man says sure do. The devils asks are you afraid of me? The old man says nope. The devil is even more confused and asks "Why?". The old man says "Because I have been married to your sister for 48 years."

_______

An English man, Irishman and a Scottish man are sitting in a pub full of people.

The Englishman says, "The pubs in England are the best. You can buy one drink and get a second one free".

Everyone in the pub agreed and gave a big cheer.

The Scottish man says, "Yeah. That's quite good but in Scotland you can buy one drink and get another 2 for free."

Again, the crowd in the pub gave a big cheer.

The Irish man says "Your two pubs are good, but they are not as good as the ones in Ireland. In Ireland you can buy one pint, get another 3 for free and then get taken into the backroom for sex"

The English says "WOW! Did that happen to you?" and the Irishman replies "No, but it happened to my sister."