Boston
And speaking to Ashley, I do not believe that she orchestrated some type of plot against Col. Hogan. The thread that I read (subject plus 9 replies) mainly consisted of a series of replies to Col. Hogan’s apology (similar to the apology that he posted here). Those replying to Hogan essentially chastised him and urged Hogan to “make things right” (my words) with Ashley.
I was a little bit uncomfortable with Hogan’s suggestion of extortion in his apology retraction post. Hogan stated in part, “I have been scamed by members of another board...” One of the factors that led me away from TBD Boston originally was a tendency of some members to “pile on” when responding to an unpopular position or situation. In fairness, I don’t believe that was the case here. The thread that I read was, for the most part, respectful. Although I did find my self wondering regarding a few of the replies, “Why don’t you mind your own business? If Ashley has a problem with this, let the two of them work it out.”
In speaking to Ashley, I found a very intelligent and engaging woman. For me, first impressions mean a lot! IMHO, I just don’t think she would have been so short sighted as to set this thing in motion. It looks like a case of people butting into a situation that was none of their business! Some will argue, “I care about the lady so I’m going to speak up!” The greatest lesson that I’ve learned in my 17 months as moderator here is to know when to mind my own business even when the lady asks me to get involved. We can’t know for sure, but it certainly doesn’t appear that Ashley asked for help here.
Could there have been a sinister motive for those who suggested/pressured Hogan into compensating Ashley? Maybe... More likely, it appears to be another example of something we’ve all been guilty of at times... spending way too much time on the boards. (I guess I’m not supposed to say that as moderator. 
When it comes down to it…I think that neither Ashley nor Col. Hogan did anything wrong here.
JMHO…
thirsty
you are not "outing" me with that "plexus" reference ... it's common knowledge on many TER boards (especially Pornstars) that Plexus is my TBD handle ... of course you'll note that i've almost never posted or participated on TBD ... and for good reason 
what i don't understand is why are you getting so riled up? everyone has said their peace and to some degree or another in a rather civil tone too
and you needn't try to implicate me in having in anyway insulted or questioned Thirsty (he knows that i haven't in the past, haven't even now, and will not in the future) ... what Thirsty is doing is precisely the right thing to do: NOT taking sides .. if you wish him to be more "on your side" feel free to deal with him as you see fit -- to his credit he's not so easily "bent"
you also needn't threaten me in the tone of voice you have in your post above ... that just doesn't look good, that's all!
but if you think that the circumstances around this episode required half-explanations and that people should automatically take someone else's "half-words" and "half-truths" you must be accustomed to an entirely different type of board and an entirely different type of moderators ... apparently like the ones on TBD where you and your VIP friends reside (or should is i say rule?) ... the reason i live on TER is because it's the only relevant board of its kind where impartiality, justice, honesty and civil reasoned discourse have a chance to thrive
finally, like i already mentioned in rather explicit terms, i am an *innocent* impartial bystander in this matter (are you?). the only thing that i couldn't stand to see happen is for colhogan to get bullied and brow-beaten into doing and saying things that were in my view plain wrong, something that routinely happens on TBD and i would hate to see happen here on TER as well
anyway, just as i said to Ashley, no hard feelings. hopefully there was no (undue) harm done. i didn't ASK for any explanation (i clearly stated i respected her wish to remain silent) ... i agree with Thirsty that we now have heard from ALL the principal players (except i guess the visiting hobbyist) so the matter is -- just as Thirsty predicted few days ago -- one of HeSaid/SheSaid!
peace out!
but i think that some of the people over TBD that colhogan may have pissed off where most likely members of the "old guard" of TBD VIP members who earned their wings "the old fashioned way" (anyone remember that investment firm TV ad that said that? that is by earning their keep (helping out newbies, contributing to the boards, helping out newbies and such)... as i'm sure huboo to some extent personifies
but it seems that recently (at least soon after i joined ~6 months ago) TBD changed its VIP membership policy so now ANYONE who posts enough reviews or whatever (i admit i don't know and i don't care about their guidelines) but ANYONE who did such-n-such could now become a VIP ... and sure enough colhogan became a VIP member, which i'm sure must've ruffled some feathres with the "old guard" (for whatever reason, i'm sure THEY think it's important and valid! LOL)
the funny thing is (well, ironic at least) that TBD's new VIP policy (you might say an attempt to become more "egalitarian" like TER ended up "back-firing" in their face like this! at least that's one theory i've heard other veterans of both boards mention (yes, believe it or not i DON'T make this stuff up folks! LOL)
anyway ... back to your regularly scheduled board drama programs!
If I had something to say, I would say it to you. I am not this Mr. Fantypants. I don't know who this person is. Sorry to disappoint you. But, I choose to stay out of this whole subject here. I would suggest you speak to the mod, to find out who it is...
Mel
p.s. I would suggest that you get your facts straight, before pointing a finger at anyone here. Again, you can be rest assured baby, that if i have something to say about you, I would be damned SURE to say it in your face and to your face.
I am keeping out of this, that is why I chose not to post at all.
-- Modified on 9/2/2003 4:22:59 PM
"I believe that if you have something to say then you should be willing to post it by one identity and not have to use a name like "Mr.FartyPants" to hide behind. I realize why you have chosen to do this especially when it comes to me as you really don't wanting me to bring up past indiscretions of yours." -- huboo
just because you "believe" in something doesn't make it "The Rules" (it must be a vestige of your other role as TBD Canada Moderator)... same reason you should probably not mix FACT and OPINION in one post, lest it should tend to blur the lines of distinction for those not paying too much attention (but that's a small point)
but the (more important) FACT is folks are free to post as they wish (that's why every TER member has the option and right of creating as many aliases as they wish -- so long as they don't post under multiple aliases in the same thread which is clearly NOT the case here
and secondly (and even more importantly), unless i'm very much mistaken your 2nd sentence above reads like a THREAT! did i perhaps misread it? or misinterpret it? i admit it's been a long day (what with it being the Teusday after a 3-day weekend and all but i keep rereading it over and over and over and keep coming to the same conclusion: that you are THREATENING to expose someone for having done nothing more than expressed views which are contrary to yours!
and you know -- this is a funny story, trust me! -- i was merrily on my way out the door to go home, thinking to myself: "well, this whole colhogan/ashley/huboo business sorta kinda wrapped-up (as much as one can hope for), good thing too, it's high time we put it all behind us and as more than one person as said, let's all move on and have some phun!" ... BUT THEN
your message appeared and i says to myself, i says: "you know single, you just may get moderated if you don't shut your clam on this one. this ain't your feud (in a way it really isn't!) so butt out of it" -- but then my more reckless half says to me, it says: "you got nuttin' to worry about. what you're posting is quite reasonable and so long as you don't become abusive and comative (which i never do you's got nuttin' to worry about"
so i says to myself, i says: "dag nabbit! i will post it!"
I guess you didn't take the time to read mr farty pants post. If you did the writing style in no way resembles Melinda's. As for the woman not liking you or are jealous because you see only traveling ladies. I have one thing to say get over yourself. I always respected you as a poster though I didnt always agreee with what you said. But when you start making senseless accusations I have to question you. Seriously think about it reread the post and then say that Melinda posted the post. You kmow too many times people open their mouth and insert foot without thinking. I guess some people just have a foot fetish
Would you see a guy who can't stop looking in the mirror or pull his head out of his @ss? Nope, but maybe if you were young and he was paying you, sure!
We should consider ourselves lucky
Hopefully the "other place" tightens the reins on the Sopranos, but it is doubtful.
Awaiting my next call from Tony...hehe
KJ Beals
I'm addressing this strictly in the context of the quote you pulled from my post (since you raised some other issues in your reply).
You've suggested that the ladies are afraid to speak their mind. If the last few days don't prove that everyone is allowed to speak their mind here at TER, I don't know what will. If anyone is keeping score, I've only rejected three messages; two that crossed the line regarding personal attacks against another poster and one that vaguely referenced a past incident which I felt would only distract us from the issue at hand.
I respect you Singleton so I guess we can agree to disagree. I feel that the ladies here are strong enough to speak for themselves. As I wrote, I feel this incident would never have matured to this point if other posters at TBD had let Ashley/Hogan handle it themselves. What's next, hobbyists publicly chastising providers who refuse to provide references to other ladies?
As our common ground, we all care about the ladies' safety. If the Provider community has a problem with Ashley (or any other provider!) not sharing information, the community is strong enough to deal with the issue. If not, they are indeed in trouble. 
thirsty
fly out of here (literally). really i mean that, cuz god knows i have better things to do! LOL
"You've suggested that the ladies are afraid to speak their mind. If the last few days don't prove that everyone is allowed to speak their mind here at TER, I don't know what will." -- thirsty
you were right, until huboo threatened Melinda in this very same thread ... it's now pretty clear why some providers (and hobbyists) may -- i repeat MAY -- actually "fear" him (for reasons which i admit i'm not privy to)
i agree with you entirely that we should make this environment safe for and supportive of providers, so no one can or should come here on TER and brow-beat a provider into silence
just so anyone doesn't miss the point here -- sorry folks, i don't mean to be so didactic, i KNOW my fellow Beantowners aren't stupid -- but just because huboo mistook who he was addressing doesn't mean the THREAT to Melinda wasn't made or intended
frankly, speaking of apologies and being fair to providers, an apology to Melinda (and Mr.FartyPants who did nothing wrong) is in order, IMHO