DC responded to a post I started below saying something to the effect of "converting my friend to the dark side" (see Good Clean Fun post)

My best friend is not a hobbiest, but I know he would have sooooo much fun if he was.  I will be seeing him this Saturday for some good ol' drinkin' and strip club hoppin'.

My question for the masses is:

Have you ever introduced a friend to the hobby (i.e. Dark Side)?

Did is hinder/help your relationship?

DS,
I converted my best friend. We've been close for a long time. For a couple of years he'd come with me to Montreal and we'd do the strip clubs together and I'd break away to the hotel room to indulge in the hobby. He always wanted to but like your friend he couldn't bring himself to jump in. The last time we were up there I booked an outcall to our room while he and I were sitting around having drinks. At what I thought was the right time I got up, left the donation on the night stand and told him it was up to him and I stepped out of the room. I went to the end of the hall to the stairwell and watched thru the door as the elevator opened, a fine looking young lady walked out and knocked on our door. The door opened, she stepped in and I waited. After about 10 minutes I decided to go for a walk. When I returned to the room he was one happy, smiling boy. He's thanked me many times for pushing in in the pool. We are talking about our next trip north.

Cause you can't WAIT to tell somebody...something!!!

Seriously, in your situation I suppose it depends...

1) If your married, attached or even involved with someone. You would need to be CRAZY to consider this.

2) If you're single you would still need to be a little dense.

You say y'all go to clubs together and hang out, but unless you have ever shared a woman before or seen each other in compromising, adult/ sexual situations (getting blown @ a bachelor party, a swing club, sharing a hooker...etc) then this is just your bravado applying pressure to your sensible side. Machismo has fucked up more good things than we can count.

If you have ANYTHING to loose or can be compromised in ANY way....My advice would be to keep your trap shut. Hell, half the reason TER was formed was to give guys a "Locker Room" to share shit that they can't in their civilian lives.

It is ALWAYS better to have the leverage instead of being the one that has lost it!!

And remember (all the attached men)...It only takes ONE slip of the tongue to blow your world right the Fuck up!!!

Take it to the grave my man!!!

-- Modified on 8/21/2008 11:13:49 AM

Would even suspect what I do "on the side".   I am very able to keep the two worlds apart quite easily.   All it takes is a little intelligence, and common sense.

I would never reveal to anybody I know from the non-hobby side what I do on the hobby front.   It just is not worth it.   I know full well that someone would say something that would get me in trouble.

The only person on the hobby side who even knows about me on the other side is a woman who owns an agency who happens to have worked in the same field as I have worked also.  But we keep it to ourselves.

Do not tell him about anything.  You have too much to lose, and nothing to gain.  Think about it, what can you possibly gain from disclosure?

I guess it ultimately depends on your level of friendship, but I think you are both right about keeping this quiet.

My friend and I have actually shared a woman or two in the past, but I think getting a provider together would just be too strange.  Plus, it's just better to play it safe.  Why let anyone know what I do in my spare time?

Thanks for the advice!

Wow, that is a lot more than I have ever done with my friends.

I had a friend in my unit that I ultimately introduced to the hobby.  He was married at the time, but his wife decided that she enjoyed blowing the other guys in the unit while he was in the Field.  He caught her and went into a deep tailspin of regret and bitterness.  About three months later, I decided that he needed to get laid, so I took him to one of the private brothels that I had been going to.  The guy was never the same again, in a good way.

I wouldn't do it now because the one sure thing I've learned in life is that pussy is the greatest motivation for a guy to be stupid.  All of my friends now are married to women who know my wife, and I would not, could not, will not trust any of them not to be stupid enough to spill their guts if either caught or have fallen for a provider.

My suggestion for you and your friend is still to set up a private show with one or 2 providers, but not let him know that she / they are providers.  Let him think he got lucky with a stripper.

Good luck

At the risk of offering a dissenting view point, as a friend I might not completely close off the possibility of introducing him to the hobby, you would just need to do so discreetly, exercising extreme caution.

An upbringing wrought with years and layers of repressed sexuality and guilt can be tough to shake.  Try as I might, still can't seem to bring myself to go past full contact lap dances, and enlisting providers for Russian lessons and FBSM.

I will say that the outlets I've discovered via this community in the form of several oh-so lovely ladies have saved my sanity.  Some of them completely "get" where I'm coming from when a session starts and I explain my mindset and preferences, and there are probably several others who think I'm just plain weird.

Small price to pay as the ones who understand oftentimes give extra effort to tease and please (maybe I'm a "challenge" of sorts?) while making the experience sensual and utterly intoxicating without full service undertakings.  As a result, hobbying in my own right leaves me relaxed and rejuvenated, without being haunted by guilt.

I can appreciate the sensitivity and strain this introduction could potentially place on a friendship.  Truth be told, NONE of my friends know of my interactions in this community, although at the same time, I wish someone had told me about these resources long before I found them on my own.

If one of my good friends was unhappy and in the throws of expressing anxiety and frustration about his SO situation, I might look for an opportunity to point him to TER or Eros with a benign "some website someone told me about" style comment, should he ever need say a private lap dance by appointment to help him thru a rough patch.  Still a risk, but one which keeps your anonymity intact and hobbying private (assuming he doesnt see all the posts above and put 2 and 2 together) while also giving him recourse should he end up doing some research and finding the same shangri-la I have.

He might not thank you for it, hell he might not ever mention it ever again, but at least it gives the fella a chance for a release beyond the once-in-a-blue-moon trip to visit his bud and hit the strip clubs.

Just my 2 bits.  and thanks for the info on Providence establishments!    DH  

I have an out of town client that I see on a regular basis. He owns a company and his sons, son-in-laws etc all work for him. They take "guys only" trips ocassionally. During these trips, they all indulge in this extra curricular play openly! To my knowledge, they see the girls individually and there is no gangbangs. lol

I have personally been involved in many threesomes even with brothers. (one set identical twins...whew!) Obviously, I was the main entree' that made a delicious sandwich

The only time I’ve had any urge to share anything about the fact that I hobby with a friend was last year after his family and mine vacationed together.  On that vacation we met a fellow vacationer, a single female, who claimed to be rich, from the UK, and vacationing in the US.  She was a great gal and both families, including our wives, thought she was terrific

I returned home and saw she had an EROS ad for an upcoming trip to my home town!  To this day I think about what our spouses would say!  I guess I’m a wimp for not booking a visit?

them are under 50, so either they know about the hobby, TER, Eros, etc or they don't. None of my business either way. When I was young and single I talked about sex to guys. But I never talked to anyone about my sex life when I was married except my wife. Now divorced, I still don't talk to guys about sex. It seesm kind of childish or slightly gay. Maybe it's an age thing, or maybe I'm a repressed ex-Lutheran.

would  ever suspect what I do for a living.  I keep it all so very seperate from who I am when I am NOT Nicole.  I do like Nicole though, shes alot of fun...

-- Modified on 8/22/2008 10:45:29 AM

Take it from me...one who truely knows, Identical twins are a great deal of fun. (being 1/2 of that equation actually I would be in the know.)

Just between you n I and keep it on the hush hush... my sis, well she is just not as naughty n fun as I am. One of us has to be grounded I guess.  Ahh yes, I have been branded "the bad twin"  It's all good though...
Play nice now everyone!!!

Toodles
Nicole~

That would involve talking about what I do.  I don't talk about that with anyone other than the ladies that I see.

I can appreciate your alias, but I want to pm you SO BADLY.......

Best Friend's Wife (BFW):  What was wrong with you tonight?
Best Friend (BF): Nothing.
BFW: Why cant you be more sociable when we're with my friends?
BF: I was sociable.
BFW: You were cold. You practicaly ignored my friends.
BF: I told you I did not feel like going.
BFW: Why cant you be like Dingaling?
BF: Like What?
BFW: Well, for starters,he pays his wife a lot of attention when we're out together.  I wish you would give me the same attetion he gives his wife.
BF: He's just acting guilty.
BFW: Guilty? Guilty for what? What has he done?
BF: Errrr.. Nothing. Forget I said that.