for him. he gets the free pussy.

You get the Broken Heart.

Going on six years, in fact.

I think it might help that we live 1500 miles apart, however.

Absence does make the heart grow fonder.

Does it ever work out? Long term? No.
Now comes the really unpopular stuff.

Relationships in the real world are hard enough.
People in this world are different. 99.9% have some kind of issue. Basically they are all selfish. They will do anything to get what they want. Lie to family, friends, clients, providers; cheat on their bf, gf, wife, husband. We all have no problem routinely breaking the law.
When people in this business date, here's what happens.

The gal will love everything in the beginning as long as things are going how she wants. She's independent and used to getting and doing things her own way, lying to whomever she has to, and answering to no one. Eventually she will not like the constraints of a normal relationship.
She will always always in the back of her mind remember how they met and he simply wanted to pay someone for sex. Because of this, whether she admits it to herself or not, she will never fully respect him.

The guy will love everything in the beginning as he thinks he's saving a fortune by not having to pay for sex anymore. He's also getting it bareback now (let's be real here people) so this is a huge win in his mind. After a while he'll start to stray mentally then probably physically. He's used to variety and excitement. Now once the thrill of the beginning of a relationship wears off he'll become bored. He will always always in the back of his mind remember how they met and that she has sex for money with just about anyone. He'll see guys in restaurants, the mall, everywhere and know that for a couple bills, this guy could have sex with his lady. Because of this, whether he admits it to himself or not, he will never fully respect her.
And if she keeps working? Find a guy who's really ok with that, who's not incredibly selfish and really sees her as just a money machine. Good luck because it doesn't exist unless he has zero self esteem.

I'll be like everyone else and wish you all the best and happiness and all that other stuff. But in the real world it doesn't work out.

Fuck just keep it real everyone!

This is the most accurate comment I've seen posted on hobbyist/provider relationships.

Feel free to tell me your stories.  Does it ever work out?

I struck up an on-line relationship with Bev Fisher after meeting her on a site called Escort Blogs.  After a few months we decided to meet in Boston.  That was about six years ago.

We were both available (That is, divorced.)
and had a real sense of attraction and simpatico when we met.  I thought about it long and hard and conferred with both hobby and non-hobby friends and asked their advice.  They all said go for it.  So I did, and she did.


Since then we communicate by email or phone nearly every day and get together about six times a year.

We've had our ups and downs but basically it's been a very caring and supportive relationship.  she and I attend each others' familly affairs (No, I haven't discussed her real job with my family.) and do all sorts of couple stuff when we are together.

She knows I'm a hobbyist and is all for that.  She often sets me up with provider friends of hers and we do threesomes frequently.

I in turn support what she does and I'm proud to know such a wonderful provider.  She truly brings her wonderful spirit to her job.

And that's pretty much it.

Great question! As a single girl, it often crosses my mind! I've met some great divorcees and widowers that I wouldn't mind seeing in a vanilla setting.
I've been on a "date" with a hobbyiest but never dated one. But I dont think I'm ready to seriously date anyone right now.
Please let us know how your love affair turns out!
KK

are you male or female and did you have a bad experience?

I read about you and you sound cool!  I'd love to hang out with you, but ofcourse I'm not trying to date you! lol

Here is another aspect that a lot of people fail to realize - allure of being irresistible.

It is possible for a provider to meet someone as a client and fall in love.  It is possible that he may APPEAR to be someone worthy enough of a man that she will decide to quit the business  and live happily ever after with this man.

But ...

1) Popular providers get used to worship and admiration by dozens of men each single day.  emails, texts, phone calls .. they become much needed daily "fix".  It is relatively easy to walk away from money and sex with multiple partners, attention from "fans" on another hand is extremely hard to replace.

This client turn boyfriend now has to replace all of the attention his SO used to get from many different men and no male alive is capable of accomplishing this task.

2) Most men can not possibly expect the kind of attention they will get at hoe party when they are out there in real world.  Even most charming, handsome, smart, well dressed man won't have at least a dozen of gorgeous women fight for his attention and uncommitted sexual gratification.

Different pussy every day is easy to give up for most men, but droves of "out of his league" beauties whispering sweet nothings into his ears? Not so much.

So can it work out?  Not unless they both "retire" from the hobby immediately and terminate their respective hoe boards accounts and severe all ties with hoe world.


On positive side, it is much easier to mend a broken heart for provider than for civvie. Nothing helps to get over one man who turned out to be a cheap asshole as hundreds of other men willing to pay hundreds of dollars for some fun times  

My advise to OP would be give it a try, keep him on very short leash and don't hang your garters.

especially pussy, there is always a price, monetarily or not.

........ you're dating a hobbiest?

Tell me your story.

I don't know.  I'm thinking about it.

Let your heart take you where it wants you to go. Just tell him his little head cant take him where it wants to go.

If he really cares for you, "getting some" should not be an issue, he should be willing to wait forever if he has the same feelings for you that it sounds like you have for him.

Just my two cents. I hope you find happiness!!  Good luck !

great! A PM is on the way!

Nah, I don't think I ever could. It's not a good way to start a relationship. I think it will come back to haunt yoou in the long run.

Enjoyed going out to lunch and other places, while she was in the process of getting a nursing job.  We met for 2-3 hours, every week or two, for about 6 months.  Great fun while it lasted, and no burden at all as it was very part-time.

Eventually she told me she was fully retired, never going to do it again, never wanted to hear from any hobbyist ever again.  

This ended over two years ago and she has not returned to the hobby. Assume she is doing well in her new career.  Her old reviews are still up but the link to any photos are dead.

in contact with her, it's my opinion that, after making six bills for several years, the novelty of the following is likely to wear thin rather rapidly:

- instead of making $500 an hour with a bunch of men that I believe she truly enjoyed, she's making $150 a day (take-home) working 9-5.

- instead of being financially independent, she's now laboring under the weight of dependence on him.

- instead of living out fantasies and being shown the very best of everything as a provider, she's chained to a one-on-one relationship with a VERY controlling former client that's moved into her house (with her kids).

This dude has a caged tiger on his hands.  As much as I wish for her ultimate happiness, I truly believe that this is something that is not going to end well, and the worst part is that the kids are pulled into the vortex.

sorry, i forgot I cant get pms because I'm not a VIP member.  my email is [email protected]

This is a self-selecting group of answerers and a flawed survey. The success stories wouldn't be around these boards anymore to answer your question.

as it's only been six months and a few hundred miles separate us.  Mister Fisher is right - absence does make the heart grow fonder.  This makes me ever so slightly nervous as I would like to expand my family at some point -- kind of tough to do while maintaining that sort of distance.

Every individual is different, and so each relationship will be different; asking other peoples' experience will yield a different answer from almost every person.  Being an occasionally (not constantly, I swear) difficult person, and this being my first relationship thus far entirely devoid of any form of abuse (I'm fairly young, and made a couple of long-term bad choices, then took a LONG break), I'm not convinced that there could be such a thing as a difficulty-free relationship for me, LOL.  The gem I am fabulously fortunate to have found is well worth the work, and he seems to feel the same about me.  But, "only time is a lover's guide."

And I just saw this show called, "Playboy Swing" where couples swing etc... I think that's what I ultimately want. I could see myself marrying a hobbyist if we could be connected on that level. I'm a super sexual person. Sex will always be a major part of my life. I might need to get someone here who can understand that? Where is TERmatch.com? LOL.

I never have dated a provider, though I have been asked a few times to dinner etc.  I've never wanted to move past the physical with those ladies nor did I wish to risk my level of privacy that I'm comfortable with for them.  But there is someone I would see and it does go beyond the physical where I'm genuinely mesmerized by her personality, her smile, her.............umm you get the picture.  Personally, I haven't felt like this about a woman since I was a Freshman in HS when I dated the homecoming queen (yes I was a frosh  with a SR - it was definitely fun).  I get that same kind of feeling, where your hearts skips a beat, when I get a text from her or when I walk in the room to see her.  I enjoy speaking with her and love her personality, it is easily the sexiest thing about a woman who  is absolutely dripping with sex appeal.  For me, she would DEFINITELY be the ONE provider I would date.  "You & Tequila"

And tired of the variety that comes with hobbying. I know of one provider that married a client, he was much, much older. It seemed to have worked out. Most of the time when a hobbyist hooks up with a provider, it is for the money that she can bring in or for free, no holds barred sex. If you are good in this business and thinking about settling down, you are better off saving every penny that you can. Once you are a bit set, if you are hot, there are many ways to get a man for as long as you need him. Just don't expect him to hang around. One big drawback of this business for providers is that it is isolating, the providers that are on their game use the business for the money that it provides, but have other pursuits in life that are more important to them. As a hobbyist, I prefer meeting smart providers, I feel less self concious about paying for sex because I get a feeling that the provider is taking care of herself as a person and building a future for herself.

....the problem is in the interim, she fell head over heels in love for a civie and she is marrying him shortly after less than a year courtship.  No sour grapes, but I think the civie, is just looking for a sugar mama.  I spent 7 years with my ATF, thinking I was laying the ground work for something special only to have my heart broken.  I don't think the civie knows what he is getting into, but only time will tell and I think my ATF may be repeating past history.  If my ATF has found her true love, I am happy for her, even if it was at my expense.

My ATF says she will still see me (I think), but I don't know if it is the same now....I guess it is what it is.

I think the ladies who work are wonderful and have alot of extraordinary challenges, I too am an optimist and think it could work.  

I'm absolutely smitten with him.

I just wish I knew exactly how he feels about me.

My wife and I had a fun relationship with an outstanding provider in SNH. She and the wife became quite close and saw each other alone a few times. For my wife, it was only fun and nothing else. The provider wanted more and it became quite complicated as the provider did not understand there where limits as to boundaries. I always compensated the provider when it was the 3 of us. When it was the 2 ladies it was dating with no pay.

In short, I think you would be best to separate business from pleasure. I am sure there are exceptions but making the transition from client to partner is very difficult.

Fin