Any suggestions on how to ask a provider if she provides certain services?  I'm kind of guy who likes to know what he's getting into/paying for, etc..  Of course, we all know it's a bad idea to, "excuse me Miss, will you let me #?!& you in the !#$?"

Of course services provided are listed right there on the ad, however with a little experience we all learn that what is actually provided may go beyond those services, or fall short of them.  Yes, I can read the reviews, but I gotta say the same thing about those reviews as well, at least in my experience in Boston area.

Learned quickly..... dont get the mindset of what is going to happen based off reviews.  I am not sure if reviews are fake or embellished..... but I think its best to communicate first like your asking.

If she advertises  here and links to her reviews, ask if her stated menu is accurate. But always wait until after screening to discuss any service.

and the envelope tendered.

 
Otherwise you could still get shunned.

 
Reviews and profiles are the best way we have of knowing what is going to happen, and admittedly, the system doesn't always work 100%.   That's the risk in this hobby.

It certainly is the risk of this hobby, I'd personally like to do my little part to minimize risk (I'm an accountant, I Despise risk).  Personally, I think if she advertises a service and doesn't deliver, a review should reflect that.  

Obviously, there are extenuating circumstances beyond the providers control that would prevent execution of certain services (i.e. if the guy didn't brush his teeth and smells bad, she shouldn't be expected to dfk)

But if she advertises bbbj, I shower, scrubadub nice and clean, but she'll only do cbj, that's a problem (and nice, obviously there's a simple extenuating circumstance for that too, got it)

When/where?  Personally, I'm not big on meeting her, handing over donation, Then asking...

Sometimes reviews are clear and consistent (and reliable). Sometimes there is a lot of YMMV and variability in what is claimed to have transpired.  
.
Many warn against this suggestion but I say it can be used, with caution, in SOME situations, such as where you have established a good rapport via email or voice. You can say something like: "It seems like Reviewers A and X had a really good time. That's the sort of experience I hope to have! On the other hand, Reviewers P and Q describe an experience that I'm afraid would leave me disappointed. I hope to avoid that."  Maybe A and X mention CIM. Maybe P and Q say CIM denied. Your "message" might be clear or she could even ask you to be more specific. Since it is at her request, go ahead and be more specific.  "The end of A's paragraph 2 has a nice finish to it. Q's review seems to finish in disappointment."

it's mutual respect and self interest ...  

IMHO ... never ASK questions before you've been screened and approved. I don't like to say never, but ... NEVER. Even after said approval, tread softly.  

You might, after sharing a few ice breaker, nice to know you emails/texts/PMs, ask if you can discuss a few questions you may have about services offered that you're interested in that are reflected in her reviews.  That also reflects your interest and your consideration for her boundaries.

I rarely ask, but some providers will ask to speak with you before they schedule. If they do, that would be the good time to ask questions, but again, after letting her know in advance that you'd like clarify a few uncertainties that you may have.  

Just remember, no means NO!  Then, the balls in your court. Now that you've gotten that far, your interest and her acceptance, I think you should follow thru and make a date. A good provider, in many instances, will appreciate your "interest" and ensure you have a great time.  

After you gain a better "feel" interpreting reviews and a providers communications, or lack thereof, you'll develop a sixth sense (or a dickth sense) for knowing who you REALLY want to meet.

Applying noth's reminder about "No!" to my own post about referring to prior reviews, using the "Reviewers A and X good; reviewers P and Q disappointment" approach, she might reply with reasonable explanations such as: "I have known A and X for a long time and many meetings with mutual trust and respect. P and Q were new visitors who, I hope, will see me again. We'll have to see how things go between us and I hope you won't be disappointed."  She is sort of saying no, but at least you know in advance that it might be a no in a first meeting.
.
So schedule two hours, back to back, as separate meetings!

Schedule 2 separate 2 hour sessions back to back?  As a way to get a simple question answered?
Who are you?  Are you an incognito provider trying prey on us defenseless brainless morons with cooky ideas to drum up costs?   lol...

unless the companion you wish to visit is open to discussing what type of specific services she will or will not provide. If that is the case, it will be conveyed on her website or in her advert that it's okay. If it's not stated, why run the risk of making an unsavory impression or even ending up on a DNS list? Just my subjective thoughts..

Thank you for your thoughts Lena, very thoughtful and reasonable.
I hate risks of all kind, definitely understand it's a risk to simply ask.
Just feel like, as a community, we can put our heads together to tackle this issue.
It definitely is an issue, sorry, I'm all set giving someone 4 bills and Then finding out what I'm getting back

and many if not most safety conscious providers will look at someone using code words to inquire about specific sexual acts for money as an attempt to entrap them by LE.

Yes, you can ask, but be prepared to end up on a lot of DNS lists for doing so. The best advice is to read the reviews and then check via backchannel with her reviewers to get the real skinny, but don't be surprised if the guys you reach out to are going to want to see your bona fides before getting too chatty about details with someone they don't know.

The longer you are here and the more you contribute the easier this will get. In the meantime, check out the newbie board for many of these questions, you'll get a lot less snarky replies there.

haha, right on GaGambler, thanks man.  I think everyone's been helpful with their replies, don't feel anyone's been snarky.  I have checked out the newbie board.  
   
     I post here in an attempt to effect change.  I know the basics, I think there's a better way to go about it.  I'm not just accepting things for the way they are, you know what I mean?  I want my money's worth, just forking over donation and finding out what I'm getting later doesn't sit right.  
     
    But you're spot on about LE, that's obviously no joke.  Still, it's not exactly an "underground hobby", at least not what I think of as underground.  I mean, look where we are?  This is global

Besides the obvious hygiene things there are times when ladies just don't feel comfortable with certain guys because they're pushy or  creepy or demanding or are actively trying to "minimize risk", lol, like you said, and it makes her uneasy.  And then your session is compromised.  I have a feeling from the tone of your post that if there have been times that you haven't gotten what other hobbyists have gotten based on reviews or even direct feedback from her reviewers, well, then, maybe it's you, not her.  So write a review that reflects that but I can GUARANTEE you that it's only going to keep some other girls from wanting to see you.

I'm not trying to be mean, you're certainly more articulate than many others here and you may be a perfectly nice person, you may truly intend to be nice but you may not come of that way.  Just a thought.  Best of luck.

xoxo, Alex

In an email, I wouldn't see him.  I don't want to talk to him about other reviewers. That's so catty and immature. Reviews are to be read but once you get into discussing them you sound like a demanding customer who's creating drama before even meeting, always trying to get the most bang for his buck (pun intended) and a total buzzkill... May not be the intention but that's what it sounds like a guy like that goes to the bottom of my list.

-- Modified on 6/15/2017 3:08:22 PM

"I want my money's worth."

Many vaginas around the world literally just went dry.  It can and should be true but don't convey your basement bargain hunting skills in an email or post here.  It sets a bad tone.   You will not change anything expect for people's opinions.  You'll go from acceptable hobbyist to pain-in-the-ass-john in 0 to 60.  

Use your obvious intelligence to research and read the between the lines, acronyms, etc... There are no guarantees, especially in an underground and PERSONAL business, which this very much is.  Someone looking to get his money;s worth will never be the one to change the oldest profession, lol, no matter how unfair it may all seem.  You can't call customer service and request a refund.  You can write a negative review if you must.

I read your reviews and it looks like you've had some good experiences so hopefully you'll continue to have more of the same.

I sincerely wish you the best.

 
xoxox, Alex

I appreciate the input, agree to disagree as we may/must, I really appreciate hearing someone speaking from the heart and telling me how they feel.
I'll just add that we're in a new era, and change is in the air.  Technology, information age, communications once thought impossible are right in everyone's grasp.  
Correct, lol, we can't call customer service, thank you so much I;m still laughing, lol...
But yes, writing a frank review if we must: I've been lead to believe that providers don't care for negative reviews.  Positive reviews build up reputation, marketability, etc... Negative reviews, the total opposite  
Lastly, sorry for giving you the impression I'm a "bargain basement shopper", lol... I'm not, I pay good money for this service, I expect a quality performance

I totally understand you.  This isn't CVS or Wal-Mart, it's a special hobby & service.  I'm a humble man, I know my own faults which are plenty, but as a hobbyist I'm a perfect gentleman with a clean body and fresh shave and always polite.  I am not claiming this is "par for the course" but there are numerous instances of "bait & switch", false advertising, etc...

And yes, I understand perfectly well that guys can be pushy or creepy or demanding and thus "compromise" the session.  I also understand that sometimes a provider just isn't in a really good mood for whatever reason, she's having a bad day, family problems, etc... and that also "compromises" the session.

But I'm with you, it's give and take, we as hobbyists have a responsibility to conduct ourselves in a certain way and treat providers with respect

Speaking for myself, there are instances where I may be open to fleshing out how an encounter may manifest. When it comes to a kink-related session, there are very specific experiences that one may be looking for that I may specialize in fulfilling.  

 
Still, if I receive an inquiry that isn't all the way on point and has a mish-mash of acronyms before crucial verification details are provided, I'll definitely ignore it. The risks are countless: possible LE criminalization and entrapment or loss of time and wasted energy providing free wanking fodder to lurkers are just a couple.

Lena: thank you for your input, much appreciated.  Understood of course, if a potential client contacts you and asks point blank, "excuse me, may I #&!?..." obviously, this is ignored, duh!!! lol...

TER isn't perfect, but for hobbyists it's maybe the best there is, I'm speaking from ignorance but prior to my discovery of TER last year I was a rambling hobbyist for 15 years going by the likes of craigslist, backpage, Phoenix, etc... I'm sure glad I finally discovered TER, that's for sure!

I'm only suggesting we have the means in front of us to create a more systematic approach toe the acquisition of and delivery of services, just trying to nudge folks in that direction

Even vending machines can rip you off sometimes. Just imagine how all the people who voted for Trump must feel!

Well said, and very funny!

This probably doesn't help answer your question, but might give some insight.  Depending on how delicately a gent approaches his question, the resulting response from me might be to nicely tell him I'm unwilling to discuss any services, or he may just get blocked and added to my "no see" list.  Even with repeat clients I am highly uncomfortable ever writing about anything I would do or have done.

A friend of mine had an awfully scary situation where a potential client requested an appointment, and for whatever reason (luck? divine intervention? haha) she and this potential client were unable to agree on a meeting.  

Months later, she receives a long email from his account written by none other than his wife!  Of course this ranks up there in the worst case scenarios for the client.  She wanted to know details, I suppose to help her with closure.  Which means she likely read every shred of every word in every email from his account EVER.  

How he got caught and/or what he could/should have done to prevent this doesn't matter--on the provider end, the best way to prevent or at least alleviate the fallout of a woman scorned is to not let any graphic correspondence exist to begin with.  

If you have established a level of trust with a lady (this will mean different things for different women), perhaps she'd be open to a brief phone call.  I have done this before, however only with a client I had previously visited with.  I see you have a handful of reviews written, and if you have some trust established with those providers, you can use them as references and give them permission to be a little more candid when they reply to the new lady.  Many of us keep our references brief and confidential, such as "no problems to report." But maybe, just maybe, you could ask your old provider to open up a little and say "No problems to report, he also really likes to (whatever it is the act is?)"  Again, it's a bit of an unusual approach, but there's already a level of trust we ladies have amongst each other that we don't have just yet with a new client.

Also, isn't that why we have bajillions of acronyms?

I may use acronyms in email or phone correspondence, but NEVER before screening.  

Also, I check my profile often to make sure my profile is accurate. We all should.  

And if you're too cheap to invest in VIP so you can read that section, please don't waste my time asking. Rookie discourtesy.  

Thanks, gents!
Xo
Ernestine

...we all know that not all of you do.  On that note, a question: I've come to hear that the services provided section of profiles on TER are set by the 1st reviewer and not the provider.  The 1st reviewer states the particulars, i.e. CIM, BBJ, etc.., and not the provider?  After that, profiles are only updated via problem reports?  Is that right or wrong?