Just wondered what you all thought of this one. She may or may not continue to work. I am not controlling and would never demand things to be my way. Give me your pros and cons. Thanks in advance.

You must be kidding by asking this question which has been on every board of this type with regularity.

Look, if you don't mind me fucking your wife, go for it.  If you think you'd rather not have all your friends get blow jobs from your wife, don't go for it.

It's your problem; you solve it.

now that is another question...
you are the one getting into the situation.. follow your heart.. do what it takes to make YOU happy and Fu&* the rest of the world..

A wife costs alot more than a provider bottom line and once your married the sex dies

Okay ,

Here is my reply.  Just my opinion.  Not trying to force it onto everyone else.

Once I get married I'm done.  I mean I am done with being a provider.  One... If I got married and my husband thought it was okay for me to still be in theis line of work.  I would first question if he was "f*cked in the head",  really cared and loved me,or if he was seeing any providers himself, or having an affair on me to justify what I was doing was OK.

Last of all...Please don't be offended by this, but I guess this is just the street talk coming out of my well educated head(LOL).  If my parents could only hear what all the private school afforded my vocabulary.  

I would not marry a SH*T HEAD who couldn't support me enough to afford me to retire from this hobby and never have to look back.  Or even worse...Marry a bigger SHI*T HEAD who would want to or expect to live off my earnings from this hobby.  He could go F*CK himself.  Give me an "Amen" ladies.

Tia
XOXOXO

-- Modified on 5/1/2004 3:21:29 PM

couldn't agree more...I can't imagine marrying anyone that do this for a living.  I am sure some providers here have regular boyfriends or husbands that will put up with it and support it...but I wouldn't want to figure out what is(are) between their ears...I am sure plenty of people here will disagree with me and you but it is a free country  there are a reason why so many providers are single and not dating...and sadly have a hard time dating again from what I read here recently.

Regardless, to each his own but for me...count me out

I'd insist that she find another occupation.  Marriage is exclusive.

My guess is that this is a hypothetical question and not a real life situation your in.  If it was real life you would wouldn't be seeking advice on such an important matter from strangers.

None the less.....I've got free time tonight so here goes!:

If your happy when your head hits the pillow each night thats all that matters.  Personally I couldn't sleep at night knowing thousands of guys have fucked my wife over the years. I definately couldn't sleep at night if she was still actively escorting.

It's your life, figure it out on your own cuz nobody else is going to do it for ya!

It would be interesting to hear from those people who have had personal relationships with providers, perhaps contemplated marriage, or even got married.  I suspect that since there are many different people in the world with varied preferences and tolerances, we might hear some very different stories.  My personal opinion is that it would probably take two special people to make it work, but sometimes you might find love in the strangest of places.

Love comes in many different ways. I know some married providers and more single providers. For me, I'd stop. For others, they've answered they wouldn't. This is too deep a question for a quick paragraph answer. It just depends upon the couple, I guess.

Just so you all know. I dont plan on marrying unless she does quite. Just wanted to know the ideas out there. One of you said it how I feel.  when my head hits the pillow at night I have to be happy with my life and having other men doing my wife just doesnt make it with me. Also so you all know.  we plan on a wedding and she has already quit the bizz. I just asked the question because I have wondered if she can stay out permenatly . thank you all for your ideas.

"I have wondered if she can stay out permenatly . "

That weather you want to admit it or not, means you don't trust her.

Thats a bigger issue you need to deal with first.

"Marriage is exclusive"??  A curious phrase to find on a board crawling with married guys looking outside of their marriages for entertainment.  IMHO, G

I've had an intereting time reading all your responses. I was in the swing scene before I ever became a provider, still am,  so I guess I have a whole different perspective about sex outside of marriage. I have begun to date a gentleman, who is originally from Europe. They are a bit more "open" about their sexuality than we are and from the moment we met I told him what my career choice has been. His response? Great! Being a fellow swinger he understands the difference between love and lust. Just as we who have become providers do. How else could we let a sweet, intelligent client walk out the door and not let our heart go with him? Yes, guys that does happen to us. Would it be difficult for the provider and her spouse to keep a healthy marriage entact if she still works? Of course, but people who care about each other and are open and honest about what THEY need in their lives can handle it. It takes work but don't ALL marriages. To answer the original post........follow your heart BUT be honest with yourself about how you'll handle the inevitable jealousy that will rear it's ugly head from time to time. And, when it does, communicate how you feel. You can have a marriage/serious relationship with one of "US".

Sincerely,
Anneke
PS...I'm not looking for husband. Been there, done that, have LOTS of T-shirts. LOL But, if love walked knocked on my door, I would answer.

Anneke,
I couldn't agree with you more. I began the same way, and I think you and I are cut from the same cloth I enjoyed reading your post.

Take care,
Marcella

Anneke,  my girlfriend has taught me a very clear difference between me and her clients. I know I am her closest friend. I know they, are work and I, am the one she depends on no matter what. She has made it very clear and I really dont want to get into the personal stuff here,  but the main reason I would want her to stop being a provider is for herself and I know some will think I am only fooling myself on this. I am not. I will say here how I understand what you all do in a way I know the providers will understand. " the money is very very good, but the stress is very very high" Stay safe and be good. Good luck to all providers. To all Clients or hobbyist as you might like to be called, be good to these women, they are the ones keeping you saine in your own little world.    take care.

Ok So a lot of bullshit has been traded back and forth on my question, I like making people think and that is what has happened here. Just for the record :We are engaged, we will live a life together and be happy. She has stopped being an escort. I am well off she doesnt have to ever work as an escort again. She will most likely work in my business with me. I really need someone I can confide in and trust.We are building a life together and we are excited about the future.
Thanks for the comments. I wish you all well.

So . . . I guess she'll have to wonder if you will continue the hobby?

Mindy --  do you ever come to Boston?  I might want to marry you!

Anneke,
I agree with you.  Love is to hard to find let alone cum by... I think if you fall in love with a fellow hobbyist or mere mortal then go for it.  If that person could not handle what you were doing then it would need to be discussed and you both must come to and open honest agreement.  Love is very strong and it has the power to overcome whatever is put in front of it.  So, I say go for it.  I am somewhat jealous.......  Just my .02.......
Love does not happen every day!!!!

The Monster mann....

Good point, the old double standard once again. What a country, full of puritanical self righteous hypocrites. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone".

she has the case of the golden handcuffs, trust me on this one. I know all about this. It also does not mean that you will ever make her happy!