that is too bad, that it's happening like that. I do hope that this issue gets straightened out, and we all can be happy  clients and providers

Mel



-- Modified on 4/9/2003 8:30:56 AM

I totally hear you Linda, I also let them know that if they need a ref, I am more than happy to help. And when I get that e-mail asking for it, I don't daddle. I send it right away. I have been one the other side of that e-mail before, and not get an answer till a week later if not longer. By this time it is a bit too late. Share, and share alike( and nicely).The ladies you say writting the nasty letters, are only ruining themselves.
XOXOX
Tracey

I don't know the circumstances, but is is possible that the client gave the reference without contacting the provider first?  If I am going to use someone for a reference, I will check with that person before giving out her name, as a courtesy.  That way, the provider is expecting to be contacted.  Maybe this provider was blind-sided by the request and took offense? Otherwise, maybe she has other issues.

just my .02

Linda I am not sure who you are referring too, but you would think whomever it is would realize that by attacking a client over asking for a reference is totally unacceptable behavior which a provider should be chastized if not blacklisted for. I too am the type of provider to tell ALL my clients " FEEL FREE" to use me as a reference. I am more than willing to help a guy meet someone new. Just because guys want variety ladies does not mean they do not like you. I have had a couple guys tell me no matter how good you are they will not go back for fear of getting attached. In fact it is good to move around a bit so the guys and girls can keep the no strings bylaw intact.
    Jealousy is a terrible thing. It ruins lives, it ruins futures, it in general is just a plain mean green no no. Lets all play nice....and hey if we are lucky we can play with eachother...over and over and over again. LOL Linda I applaud you for pointing out a very real problem that plagues the providers. Have a great week everyone. I know I am. GRRR!

I agree totally with Linda, HOWEVER..

I recently had a situation with a long standing client that I gave a GOOD reference to another provider for.  This client was seeing me for 8 months, and I cut him a deal financially.

In the interim, he spent half his time gossiping about two other providers he had previously seen, and even though I knew the providers, I never mentioned it to them.

After I gave the reference to the other provider, he went and wrote me that he was seeing me the following week and then wrote to her saying the same thing.  I then wrote to him saying that is normal to see other providers however out of RESPECT to me he should have been upfront rather than booking both of us.  His response was less than stellar and it degraded into nastiness.

I personally am an up front individual, and I encouraged the other provider to see this gentleman.  The point is, that there may be instances where providers do not wish to give out references, however sometimes out of the client's inability either to balance a situation or their awkwardness in seeing someone else, they will play providers against eachother, knowingly or not, and I certainly do not have a problem addressing this with anyone.

By the by, the "gentlemen" who I was seeing is immature to say the least, and the provider whom he was seeing before me he has some very, very nasty things to say about her.  Lucky for her I am a lady and NEVER repeated them..I also never told this provider that I was seeing him on a very regular basis as I knew it might hurt her feelings, despite the fact he still wrote to her on a regular basis.  Strange, no?

One must always get ALL the facts.  Contempt prior to investigation is a DANGEROUS food if eaten raw.  It is a consumer's market and everyone has the right to see whom they chose -- R-E-S-P-E-C-T is a two way street for all.

Linda I am also the first to say to a client you can use me as a reference.And it doesn't mean they don't like you or won't be back variety is the spice of life.I had one client tell me like it is if I wanted to stay with one lady I would be faithful to my wife(HAHAHAHAHA)he meant though.He see's me and two other providers no big deal.I think you look bad if you don't give referrals for other girls on my days off.I have alot of clients call me for someone to see,cause they know they can't see me.I feel I would look petty and unprofessinal if I didn't give them a few names as I always do.Then they can make up their minds from the two or three names I gave them.I truely beleive in Karma and if you are selfish.DON'T BE SURPRISED IF YOUR BUSINESS IS LACKING!!!!!!Don't change Linda cause I am not,even though others are the way they are.LOL   HUGS Grayeyed Nicolexoxoxoxxo

-- Modified on 4/10/2003 4:30:10 PM