Why a woman might have a policy that included race as a screening tool...  

Several years ago, I had a very good black friend in Atlanta.  She had a policy of not seeing black men.  Why?  Because she was taking great pains to be discreet about her escorting activities, and she was worried that a black client might just end up being part of her social circle and thereby expose her secret life.

Predictably, a number of posters took her to task for "being a racist."  We actually had quite a few spirited email exchanges about this issue.  Her policy was clearly discriminatory, but it had a logical basis.  Was it racist?  Probably not, but there doesn't seem to be a bright line...

Interesting issue...  I tend to side with those who argue for disclosure.  I respect the right of any women to see me or not see me, for whatever real or imagined reson she might have.  But let's be upfront about it!  Life's too short to jerk people around and inconvenience them by turning them away at the door...

Have fun, MG

No, Thirsty, you missed my point, which is understandable given the nature of the internet: you can't account for my tone of voice in a text message. I didn't literally mean that such-and-such "hates Blacks." It was an exaggeration meant for comedic effect. I was merely stating that she doesn't service them.

Look, I could care less why a provider chooses not to service people of such-and-such a race.  Providers have the right to service whomever they want; the 14th Amendment can't apply to illegal activity.  However, she also has an ethical resonsibility to let us know up front so we (ie Black males in this example) don't waste our our time and energy planning for the event only to be insulted and rejected when we get there.  Even economically, it makes sense for providers to  disclose: she (and the agency) may lose money because she had to reject another guy who asked for the same time slot.  So, she gets nothing for that block of time, not to mention she had to tell the consumer to his face that she won't service him because of his skin color: quite awkward indeed!

Now, I'll get to the original point of this post: I strongly suggest that either TER or websites of agencies mention this information about a provider and save people the trouble and aggrevation. I tried to start the trend with this thread, but I guess Thirsty thought it was inappropriate and I respect that.  Still, I think TER should consider my proposal and providers/agencies should make this information clear during the appt. process.  

Unfortunately, this thread has turned into what I wanted to avoid: another series of back-and-forth arguments over racism, girls with emotional hang-ups, freedom-of-choice, etc.  This issue's been been discussed to death on almost 10 different threads already, but there is one lame argument I need to lay to rest.  For the people who argued "I'm not racist 'cause I have Black friends, family, etc.," do know that that argument is overused and underwhelming.  It is possible to have friends or family of a particular group and still dislike that group (and psychological studies prove it).  Let's say Jim hates Hispanics, but his best friend is Hispanic.  Seems like a contradiction?  Well, studies show people like Jim consider that Hispanic friend an exception to the rule and he hates Hispanics all the same.  He;s just learn how to socialize in a way where he can effectively mask his feelings.  Perhaps I should use a more timely example given the recent events in this state.  Republican icon Newt Gingrich has a sister that he loves and gets along with, but that doesn't stop him from fighting tooth-and-nail against gay rights and saying disparaging remarks about them in public.  

No, I am not suggesting the people who made that argument today are racist, so let's not get defensive and start another 10 threads.  Rather, I wrote the previous paragraph to encourage people to forge better arguments.

Ok, time for bed!