In a recent post on the Newbie board, (“A Unique Insight into a Provider's Mind”) a gentleman wrote of how much time a provider friend devoted each day to such tasks as answering email, providing reciprocal verifications and other such mundane activities related to the hobby. I’ve seen this first hand as I gotten to know the ladies during my time at TER. I’ve met ladies who recognize the importance of this behind the scenes activity and I’ve met ladies who tend to blow it off. The former struggle to make time for this necessary activity. When the latter get complaints about not responding to emails or phone calls, they often fall back on a convenient excuse such as “My computer crashed and I lost a bunch of email,” “My phone wasn’t working,” or my personal favorite excuse, “I have a stalker. He’s filling my voicemail so I stopped answering my phone!”

This raises some interesting questions. Feel free to answer any or all of them.

1. How many hours per day/week do you spend reading/answering email?
2. How much of this email is nuisance email (ranging from inappropriate questions to chit chat from people who have no intention of meeting you)?
3. How much of your time is devoted to the verification process (exchanging email with other providers or making phone calls)?
4. Do you read the boards everyday?
5. Do you just post your schedule on the boards or do you attempt to get involved in the board community? (Do you recognize that posting more often is a valuable tool to drive more traffic to your website?)
6. How often do you add content to or update your website?
7. Do you do all this behind the scenes work by yourself or do you employ somebody to help you?
8. If you have a helper(s), do you use the helper as extra security by calling the helper to check in when you begin and end an appointment?

Thanks in advance for your input.

thirsty




-- Modified on 3/21/2004 10:47:13 AM

Well thirsty I believe in being honest so here it goes.  I try to answer emails and a timely fashion and most of the time I do. Even if I don't have the energy to read the emails I will at least make sure I answer any emails from providers. There are days when i just log on and am totally overwhelmed and say f*ck it i will do it later.  Yes, this is not very professional but the reality is I try to juggle between this, my real job and my kids.  As for phone calls, I myself usually leave my phone in the car so unless you tell me to call you and leave a time to call you till I won't call as you all have private lives.  If someone leaves a text message on my phone I never call as I have no clue who it is.  Email is the best way to contact at least for me though feel free to try the phone you might get lucky.  Used to read the boards daily but they have been very quiet lately.  I only update my website when chrissy takes picks and Ashley puts them up.  hint hint girls could this mean a trip to mohegan  Bottom line, I am not perfect never claimed to be perfect and I will answer all me emails by the end of today

Because the time you spend on background activities could very well depend on how much time you have left after taking care of the rest of your daily activities, be it day-job, family or whatever personnal things you do.

For myself, I have a lot of other things going on, because I know that I need to be more then a provider, there is so much more about me then the personality traits that are involved in this. So not investing all my free time doing background activities is a way for me to keep my balance and not to feel invaded too much by it.

I still spend an average of 1 or 2 hours daily, but I know it isn't much in comparison to people who make this their main activity. By choice I prefer fewer and better to being very very busy but under conditions that would be detrimental to me in the long run. So of these one hour or two a day, 75 to 80% is time wasted by spam (it seams bogus directories and website that offer adds keep appearing all the time) or communications that do not result in anything in the end.

I always make sure to have a balance of a personal life, and this life

I love what I do, when I am able to spend some quality with my gentleman friends But, I do need the time for "down time", and I do make sure to spend that with close friends, family, and a new friend, that I am currently dating (fingers crossed here) As for emails, phones, etc., I find myself spending half of my Monday mornings returning emails, phone calls, and then I take the rest of the day, spending that with me, by reading a book, taking a long walk, visiting a friend, or a family member (particulary my older sister)  

I remember when I first started "providing", I had stressed myself out, by trying to accomodate everyone, and that is why when I returned back, after a 6 month absence some years ago, I decided to go very low-volume (1-2) per whatever day, I would be meeting with clientle. Also, I don't meet during the weekends (down time), and I love my Mondays to myself lol There are a few times, when I will meet with one of my regular gentleman friends on a Monday, but very far, few, in between Being able to balance a personal life, and a "business life", can be stressful, but in the end, it's very rewarding


Mel

Addendum:

All of us providers have lives, outside of this profession. A dear friend of mine, is currently thinking about getting her real estate license (I also went to real estate school myself, and told her to go for it!). I also have been in the mortgage industry for many of years, way before and during the time I have been providing What I am trying to say is, that just because a lady chooses to be in this profession (regardless of if it's full time or part time), doesn't mean that she doesn't have outside interests, an occupation, a LIFE!

-- Modified on 3/21/2004 1:27:14 PM

Well, I had a long reply typed, hit a wrong key and it's gone.  Here is the Readers Digest version:  I use to spend approximately 20-30 hrs/week between email and phone calls.  Some weeks it could easily have been more.  I wished I had had someone to help me since a lot of time is spent weeding out bogus emails and calls.  I simply did not have the time to read the boards every day unfortuntely. If you incorporate these hours in with the time spent with clients the profit margin is nothing like most people imagine it to be. Also having someone to check in with before and after appointments would have been a nice security blanket.

The big misconception is that providers sit around eating bon bons waiting for the phone to ring and that simply isn't true.  They have families, obligations and a life.

I may be retired but I'm not gone.  
Rose  

Well that is an interesting question.  I generally only post for the weekend- So most of the week it is pretty quiet (minus a few people who don't read the schedule part).  I do run into this problem for the weekend- I am at my reg job all day Friday- So I have this small window of time after work and before I set up my first appointment to truy and make calls, verify and answer email. Then once I have appointments I certainly do not answer the phone then so I have to try and return calls in between.  Tricky

I do find it best if I post early in the week for the upcoming weekend and then have the chance to do some email back and forth before a phone call.  Of course with a job and a son finding private time to talk on the phone is a challenge.

I spend probably 1 -2 hours a day with emails and reading boards to arrange my weekend apps. Ironically it is almost never the people I spoke with all week that schedule but people I talk to the same day (thus the problem with missing phone calls suring apps)

I am pretty new and very part time so I think it is a matter of getting into a routine- What has been best is that at this point I always have at least one or two apps on the weekend that are regulars and understand my schedule.

Long post but good question.  I have considered services for just these reasons but I am so part time with no fixed schedule that independent seems the best option for me-

Any suggestions?

Micki, welcome to TER ! (eom)

-- Modified on 3/21/2004 10:56:50 PM

Rose, you are a class act!

Personally, I delete the idiots.  The one liners, guys who ask about specific acts and rates, and just want me to be their pen pals just get deleted.  I am not cold, but I have also learned that they cut into my personal life.  I would much rather be spending time doing something I enjoy, especially spending time with my child or on one of my interests.  That is not to say that I do not have some very good male friends I have met through escorting who I am in contact with weekly.  But the difference is, they are sincere and we truly enjoy one another as people.

I found that hanging on the boards and living the lifestyle (although it does not involve eating bon bons, as Rose stated) is self destructive.  Being a volume provider and not truly having a balance in life twists your perception of what is normal.  And all that happens is you attract the wrong kind of clients.  I am not interested in pages of reviews and answering every post on a chat board.  But I will admit I once did, and my life was so distorted and often miserable because of the drama and busy body people who don't have any interests except in escorting.  It is wonderful to have that burden lifted.

Where I once spent (or should I say wasted) 30-40 hours a week online I now spend maybe 1 or 2 tops and maintain the same income.  Part of that is due to having a steady client base and also attracting professional guys over 40 who do not have time to play games.

It's a whole different scene when you work in the outside world vs. checking in and out of hotels all week.  I love the balance and strongly suggest that other women try it.  It allows you to be a bad girl but also feel really good about yourself.  The life full of lies to family and friends and the long term impact that escorting has on your future(what goes on the resume for all the time spend escorting?)is unhealthy.

Back to the question: In a nutshell, I now spend 2 hours vs. 40 and check the boards once or twice a week tops.  It's like tuning into a soap opera.  You can esily figure things out, same players.

I probably have offended someone, if so I apologize.  I feel like I discovered something new when it was right there for me to embrace.

Hugs, Kate

Re:Micki, welcome to TER ! (eom)

Thanks so much. I am surpised (happily) at how friendly everyone is.