So, you do your research, have your eyes set on a lady, have references to give her. You see the lady.  Now, you have your eye on another lady you want to see that also requires references. You send her your references  (most recent ones) but the lady (s) you list, refuse to respond to the reference request and give a reference for you.  How does that make you feel? How do you handle it? Do you go ahead and give your RL info to see this one? Do you contact the lady you previously saw and ask her if she will give you a reference?  
I'm asking this because there are some ladies here in Boston that require references yet they utterly refuse to give one.  Myself and other ladies here have been dealing with this here in Boston.  I feel if a lady ask for references,  she should be willing to give them! Are some ladies afraid of losing a client? Do they REALLY think it won't get back to the gentlemen that they refuse to give a reference on them, even though THEY require them themselves?  
I understand if a lady doesn't participate in the reference system BUT these are ladies that require them themselves.  
I guess I'm perplexed at how they think that will help their business in the long run. Myself and a few others are making note of the ladies that do this so we can know, not to even bother.... even though THEY ask for refs themselves.  In the future, when this happens (happened 3 times this past week with just me alone,  not even counting the other ladies) I will now be asking for RL info. I know a lot of guys don't like giving that info but just maybe those guys should ask the ladies they previously saw WTF.
Funny thing is, these very same ladies will be seeking a ref from all the ladies they ignored and refused to give one to.  
What do you guys do when this happens?
XOXO  
TL

I have had this happen many times, unfortunately, with someone I have wanted to see.   I could not get a reference from some ladies.
 I just don't see the lady I was wanting to see and move on as I will not give rl info.

I’ve gone the P411 route, as well as whitelisting, and so far, so good.  I personally feel that there are those in this “hobby” that equate references and personal info with security, and that probably isn’t really accurate.  It is very easy for anyone, client or provider, to reinvent themselves, complete with references.   One of my pet annoyances is when a provider, usually visiting, requests such extensive background checks that the whole process crosses the line from fun to Pain In The Ass.  Three provider references, each with at least ten reviews, plus P411 and work email and work website.  I’m not exaggerating, that’s from a traveling girl in Boston last week.  
     An asshole can have a ton of references, a P411 account, be whitelisted, and still be an asshole, rip you off, and write you 6/6 reviews.  Going overboard on verification tends to drive the non-professional client out of hobbling.  Just my humble opinion, been doing this for over 20 years, and I do my homework.  I don’t see ladies that want to see my birth certificate.  

I understand your frustrations, yet you can't make them give you one. At the end of the day, its a courtesy, not a requirement to work in the sex industry.

I don't mind any lady running their business how they see fit. Afterall, it is her business.  I also understand many ladies dont participate  (give or receive) in the reference system.  My point is, if a lady is going to ask for references,  shouldn't they willing give one? I LOVE P411 but there are MANY that aren't on there nor will they get on there.  I prefer not to have all the RL info really because the reference system has always worked so well for me and just RL info doesnt tell me if the guy is a lunatic. I'm just saying there are many men that have zero problem offering RL info if a lady won't respond yet I understand completely many not wanting to give that info.  I am by far not the only one this has happened to.  I'm just baffled at how common it is here in Boston for ladies to require refs themselves yet totally ignore giving them. I realize they are a courtesy and I guess I will extend the same courtesy I get and give 😁
Thanks for the responses 😚  
XOXO  
TL

If the all the guys had p411 there would be no use in me posting my OP lol if I can't get a reference on a guy then there is no other choice but to pass on seeing him or get his info. If a guy has good refs or p411, I would not ask for his RL info.  I've actually always just turned them away n told them when I hear back from their refs I will see them but I've also never encountered it being this common for ladies not giving them when they ask for them.
I'm thinking of just asking the guys to contact their reference before I do to let them know they are using them as a reference.  Maybe that would help Idk. It has been suggested by a GF to do that so let's see how that works.  
XOXO
TL

Do not count as malice what can be explained by incompetence-

And a while.later, she posted something on Twitter that said she charges extra for a reference. HUH?  Made no sense.. P411 is the way to go. If a girl won't accept it... too bad..

I've got P411. Once had a lady contact all of my P411 okays and got an answer from all of them.
But, I only see ladies of exemplary moral character. That and they treat me like either their lover or sub or Dom. Or all of the above.  
I'd probably stop seeing the ones who don't answer.

This gets back to writing reviews. They are a life line with a short fuse which forces clients to continuously leave a trail of bread crumbs that slowly disappears as ladies retire. Every year I have less reviews then the year before. Older providers don’t necessarily want more reviews anymore,which leads to seeing new girls under thirty.  Those girls starting out. Not that I mind, but for those of us who enjoy Boston and seeing independents, and local, it does take a little more work to maintain some credibility with local ladies. Agencies are good for giving references but do little to accommodate outcall.

But if it did, I'll just move on.

I will never get P411, don't trust it.

Hey TL.  Long time no talk and see.  Hope you have been well.  Sorry to hijack your thread but it's been forever since I've seen you.  I'll have about an 6 hour layover at the Boston airport on 3/13.  Are you in town then?  If so, what part of town is your incall?  Love to catch up and have some fun.  xxoo

Maybe the clients can give the providers a heads up that he/she will be using them for referrals?  This way the ladies know to expect the request.  Just a thought, IDK.  

I am reference friendly however one time i was on vacation (client knew this) and got a reference request, i had full intention of responding but my client got very nasty with me for not giving an instantaneous response. I said i am on vacation and will not answer work calls when i am on vacation nor should i have to.

I think it's a dumb business decision on a providers part to not give references.  Now it's their right to run their business as they see fit, but on the flip side, it's my right to not appreciate it and take my business elsewhere.  

A problem with P411 sometimes it's not always a provider not replying but if/when she does it's real snippy like "I gave him the okay/reference so he's fine what else do you want?!" type of reply.  
Fuckin'...yikes lol.

-- Modified on 2/21/2018 8:18:52 PM

Hmm... I always thought that it was simply good etiquette for a gentleman to contact the lady in question before offering her up as a reference. I'd do the same before handing over info on a job or apartment application, or any other reference situation.  

I honestly wouldn't know because I'm not the gentlemen offering up them as a reference.  I just include all my info as well as the info he has provided,  a thank you for their time and offer assistance to them if they ever need me for a reference. In 17 years, this is how I've done references and no problems.  I have no problem doing the whole guys contact them first BUT shouldn't that be on the guys to do that? I'm now suggesting they do just that though.   I don't think I would just ignore the lady if he didn't reach out first though, unless,  as you said, it went to spam or something.  
When I'm contacted for a reference,  I do check the ladies info before I respond to make sure she is a legit provider and not a wife and his, to make sure I saw him, when and if he was a gentleman.  
Thanks madam X for your response 😚
XOXO  
TL

P411 is awsome!  
XOXO  
TL

No, unfortunately I am not.
Hope you're well 😚
XOXO  
TL

Baby, I actually lured your ass to me! Soooo.... there was no worries on your refs. I already knew I had to have you 😜 besides that, you still sent me ALL kinds of info so I knew you were good.  looking forward to our weekend (If we don't get hemmed  up for a month lol)  
XOXO  
TL

I so wish the guys would automatically do that but sadly they don't.  Gosh, it's so wonderful to hear from you!!! Hope you're well love 😚
XOXO  
TL

Love you!!! Can't wait for your return 😚😚😚
Love
TL

So happy you did.  
Damn, a weekend with you, TL, just isn't  enough.

You dont have to give ur info if u have 2 provider references

Thanks.  Safe travels!  

We all know about the recent bust of the last large agency, how would you like having your name in their computer? Maybe nothing happens,maybe they take a look. I'm all set.

Unfortunately, requesting references, but then being unwilling to GIVE them is very common. Even the bigger agencies are unwilling to give references. I just experienced this last week. And I've been in the hobby for 10 plus years. Not one call back from big agencies like BI or BAD.  

We need to plan our girlcation

Yes!!!!! Girlcation = us very happy women =very happy men! Woooohoooo!!!!
Let's go all out with plan A 😀😎😍😚
I love you most lol 😚😚😚😚😚😚
Love
TL

That’s why I like p411
I don’t like to keep references contact info any provider can look me up on p411 and see who I have seen
Not fake references
I have encountered providers who will not accept a certain girl as a reference because they have some drama
My personal favorite is those that wantreferences  that have no reviews what do they expect me TGIF while they screen
For me I have over 20 reviews  on this site and I think 8 we have met on p411 if a provider can’t find out what she needs off of that that’s her problem.
I also avoid agencies as from what I have seen they don’t give references as they want guys to see their girls
IMO all providers need to check drama at door and support each other to make things safer for all.
Question I have why don’t providers whitelist more often if a client has bothered to help them out with a good review and there were no negative issues it would streamline verification processd