I recently had a request from a gentleman for an out call who gave a reference that I of course checked ... When I sent the initial email to the provider he had seen I included a screen shot of the gentrlman's name and email from my phone .... I received a response of "no o can't verify him " ... I looked at the email and noticed the snapshot wasn't attached and wasn't sure if I sent it correctly so sent a response of :

I'm sorry , did the photo not attach , the gentrlman's name is xxxx cxxxxxxcc and thank you ....  

My response was  

" yes it came through I CHOOSE not to verify him "  

Does this strike anyone else as odd , I have always tried to be as forth coming as possible with references , i.e. ... Nice guy , clean , gentle , gives great massage , loves feet , enjoys red wine ... Whatever small tid bits I can offer , or , nice but on rougher side , very dom, extremely submissive ... I mean I try to give some info ... Does I "choose" not to sound kind of screwed up to anyone without an explanation .... I've said , I can't find him in my info base or email isn't registering can you ask him something to spark my memory ..... Just thoughts ... We all help or hurt each other with references  

Bianca xoxo

Don't get upset.

Check with a more professional lady

I had a very similar response recently.

That's part of my initial thought but let's be serious , variety for some of these men is the spice of life and the reason they are hobbyist .... If not a safe professional they will go another route if they can't get verified .... Smh ... Cat fight meeeeeoooowwwww !!! Lol

 

Girls need to stick together .... Especially as independents ... If we can't help each other we mines well hand over the 40% and put our safety in a strangers hands

but then again she must understand, it his right to try something new....

END OF MESSAGE

I sent back asking "Sorry you don't know him, or sorry he is not safe?"  I never got an answer.  I put him off for a future visit, hoping he would get a better reference by then.  From the next reference I got back "yes, I met him".  That still does not tell me if he is safe and reliable.  

After a year of his persistent emails and texts to me all he could offer is "I don't hobby often and that's all I have".  

With references like these, I just don't feel comfortable meeting someone.  How difficult would it be to say, "I met him and he is safe, but a real PITA", or something like that just to let me know the situation?  I don't ask for explicit details, but tell me something useful one way or another!

-- Modified on 12/1/2015 7:22:16 AM

It could be jealousy, but it could also be that she is capitalizing the "choose" to give you a hint that she doesn't recommend him. Maybe she's just nervous about coming right out and saying that.  

Obviously not specific enough to jump to that conclusion, but you gotta look out for yourself.  

(And I know some guys will throw out "How am I supposed to build references if every girl required references?" Guys, I felt that way at first, but finally went with an agency that allowed other forms of verification and was happy to refer me to independents. That opened up doors.)

If I did not like a client because he was gross

 
I would really  keep it to myself because it gets back to him and ten he writes bad review out of spit

It's a whole lot easier if people just spit it out.  But,  maybe she has a serious issue with  said gentleman and fears repercussions.  I had a chick ask me about a person I saw in Minneapolis this summer.  I told her straight up that he smelled like a human urinal and while he is harmless  the kings ransom wouldn't get me to partake in that pisstastrophe ever again. Ewwww  I had to bathe that nasty fucka myself.  Anyway,  I wouldn't see this guy if I were you.  Be safe!!!!  

Like others have said - I think its obvious that she didn't want to verify the client for personal reasons and that is within her right, she isn't a machine.  Maybe they dated and he pissed her off, maybe he is an asshole client and she didn't want to get down in it by outlining her complaints.    

"If we can't help each other we might as well hand over the 40% and put our safety in a strangers hands"---

So you'd rather put your safety in the hands of other fickle escorts and meet clients based on their previous service providers' word alone?  

This post isn't going to stop instances of this happening so  
I would say take this moment to learn how to verify a client without references.  

You'll:
*Make more money because you're not losing appointments waiting on a third party
*Meet nicer guys and have more pleasant experiences because you actually get to communicate with them instead of boom boom boom email, check with another girl and then he's in YOUR room with his dick in your mouth.
*Be able to take an appointment any time day or night without having to get a permission slip from another business

So much drama has been eliminated from this arena for me simply by slowing down and getting genuinely comfortable with asking for the information that I need to know of a client to establish that he is a normal person that I would be comfortable dating.

No bitch or her issues with a client is going to stop me from establishing who the client is and determining whether I want to see him on my own criteria.  

If you're really salty about this woman exercising her right and not being forced to give you the details of her dates/interactions with this client to make your life easier - I would say use this as an opportunity to reevaluate your own approach to verification.  

Every man who plays started without a reference.  
Are always you going to let everyone else do the foot work for you or are you going to learn how to confidently and safely meet gentlemen?  *That is being independent

this is a rather tight but ever expanding sand box we play in. Being prepared to be verified cannot be overstated. This is not meant to suggest you should share info you're uncomfortable sharing. That topic has been beaten to death numerous times.  

A provider can opt not to see us and we have the option not to share information that we consider too private. Both parties should then be gracious enough to agree to move on. Ergo, SHOW SOME CLASS

Same thought could apply for how much info someone wants to share about someone you are inquiring about. In my case, I hear the same response from my host should we discuss the referral we may have used to gain access to meeting someone for the first time. I personally like to get back to that person and thank them for the referral.
Back to Ally's point, if you don't know another provider well enough, perhaps you shouldn't be surprised that she not share as much info as you'd like. I've had ladies tell me that they will not accept my most gracious and most offered referral from Jill at RSG. That's entirely their perogative. They've also told me they don't accept the other providers or White Lists I can offer. My guess is that they dont know them well enough. If I still want to see them bad enough, I'll work to provide all of the info I'm comfortable sharing.  
Again, if the ladies are very friendly and know each other, I'd be more than surprised if they didn't share comprehensive info about a guy one is asking about, like Ally mentions, including cock size, hygiene, if they're a gentleman out of bed, too rough, etc.  

Same goes for me.  

There are times I'll get a PM asking about someone I've reviewed or commented on (DB) or something (anal?) I showed a propensity for enjoying within a review. Before I reply, I thoroughly investigate them as well as I can by checking their White Lists, the number of reviews, and WHO they reviewed BEFORE I share my thoughts. I do this to protect the ladies and myself. Sorry, but if you're a newbie, I'm not the guy to ask for info. Well, that's my 62 cents.

to share the same info in detail as she might if you are BFFs. If I were you, I'd take that as a negative because if he was a blast, odds are she'd give you something more positive, even if was without the detail you may have preferred.  

No, it wasn't me so I'm guessing you may have taken the more cautious route, abstinence. ... if I were in your panties, that's what I probably would have done. Then again, if I were in your panties, I'd imagine I passed the Screen Test. Play safe.

What I find odd about the response from the reference provider is that it seems like the client never asked her to be a reference. I thought it was standard practice to ask providers to be references before initiating an appointment, but maybe this isn't possible for last minute dates. However, if he had asked her and she agreed only to turn around and send a cryptic "no" then he would have found out anyway that his reference fell through so I'm not sure why she wouldn't just politely decline in the first place. If it's actually an issue of her being afraid of losing business or a result of spite then I think her attitude is going to lose the client anyway in the near future.

How does he feel about work verification?

I agree to a point, but sometimes there is just no other route.  Just because someone sounds or looks nice and has a driver's license to prove he has given you a real name, does not guarantee that he is not a serial killer.  I'm sure the ladies who got into a car with Ted Bundy thought he was a nice guy for offering them a ride when they had a flat tire.  

Looks and personality alone will not do it for me.  I need proof of stable employment and/or good references from reputable ladies (whether I know them or not), to make me feel somewhat at ease, and even then nothing is 100%.  We always take a bit of a chance meeting someone new.  We just each have our own method of risk management.

I do everything in my power to verify someone with whatever information they are comfortable providing, but if someone does not want to give me employment information, has no referrals, or the information he gives just does not jive with my computer research, I will not see him just because he says "but I am a nice guy".

This would be my vote.  I would have interpreted the note to mean "I wouldn't recommend this person"

I always appreciate the timeliness that another provider sends back and try to reciprocate-!!

I'm looking out for the provider's best interest and try to give her the little details ahead of time to prepare her; ie; likes bright red lipstick/ a little kinky.  

 Who knows whats bothering her... hopefully you have other references to check with. 😊

  SamanthaK 💋

Thank you all very much for the feedback .... A safe and happy holiday season to all of you