Assuming the question is something along the lines of how do providers manage their personal relationships with significant others, and vice-versa, it is an interesting question...
Was wondering if anyone out there is in this situation and if so how they make it work. This is a serious question, I have my reasons for asking, so feel free to private message me your response, or post it, either one. Thanks!
I don't understand what you are asking about. Is your girlfriend an escort? And you are wondering how we feel about banging an escort who has a boyfriend? Or are you concerned about banging an escort who has a boyfriend for fear he will all of a sudden get jealous and burst into the room when you are there? Or that she is having unprotected sex with her boyfriend who might pass something along to you? What exactly are you asking? I'd like to put in my 2 cents worth but I need to know what's on your mind.
But we lack the proper information to answer your question.
Cheers,
Grace
Assuming the question is something along the lines of how do providers manage their personal relationships with significant others, and vice-versa, it is an interesting question...
I am so sorry guys I didn't check back on this post until now after I posted it - got sidetracked with St. Patrick's Day stuff. But yes Triathlete77, that is more along the lines of my question - how do folks manage their personal lives with SO while also doing escorting? Is it possible to do both? And for the guys, what is your experience if your GF does this? How do you manage/separate?
Sorry again for the late reply!
You give them total love and committment, and love them for who they are.
If you have an unsurmountable problem with their job, then don't even get started, just look for someone else.
If logistics is the only problem, those can always be worked out. Love will find a way.
You are going to get all sorts of answers by posting here and there isn't a textbook answer. If you can accept it then do just that, don't start reading reviews and incessantly asking questions until it is exasperating. If you feel a need to act in this manner then you are not accepting her and most likely she will be the one to end the relationship. Being in this business and being badgered day in and day out gets old when it comes from someone who supposedly cares about you.
-- Modified on 3/17/2013 10:22:36 AM
-- Modified on 3/17/2013 11:06:08 AM
Thanks sexymarafouru - so from your perspective and experience, are you able to successfully separate the intimacy of your job from the intimacy with your SO? Is there any cross-effect of one on the other, or can you keep one in one place and the other in the other?
I have had 2 BFs in tis business who both knew about what I do.
Its all about acceptance
They were of course hobbyists first off so they accept this world and understand it.
if you are questioning if you will be comfortable in a relationship with an escort it sounds to me like you are trying to talk yourself into it. Thats not going to work cause deep down you arent comfy with dating her.
acceptance is a frame of mind you either see things that way or you dont you cant force it. It will end badly...
My BF who totally got this did not have to think about accepting it or not he saw it as my job just as I did and we had no issues.
Thanks for the reply nicole, this helps a lot. I think I am trying to talk myself into it, but have... I'd say uncertainty rather than reservations. I just really don't know how I will feel about it if she decides to go into it. I wanted to ask you too - were you able to keep completely separate your life and relationships in escorting from your personal life with your bf? Also sounds like your bf starting out as someone you met thru your job? If any of this is too personal you can email message me, or not disclose, I'm honestly just curious about the mechanics of it, and when it can work and when it can't.
then my BF.
Its like running any other business its work.
AND even though he and I are both comfy with my chosen profession its also work not letting it get to big in our lives and take over.
If you are uncertain it sounds to me like you will not be able to make that leap. Its not easy.
Good for you Nicole. Glad to see you are happy. You were (and probably still are no doubt) the best in my opinion. I loved your red hair and that jewelry on that perfect naked body. Geesh, I'm getting shivers now.....ayway, as I said, good for you.
in the mood for male companionship and needing some sex. i found that any time I throw a bf into the mix i become wiped out and then day of appt roles around i am like dreDIN THE appt, cuz i am not in the mood like at all. and the clients take notice too, any time I start also spendin my free time with a guy like at all, i find i begin to get like testosterone over load n get wicked burnt out. Its bad enough to have to go back n forth with lets just try n sound inncocent n say 4 clients aweek. Between the phone calls texts n emails and plotting n plannning. Then you have maybe another 10 your plotting and planning with about stuff to come to fruition next week or later in month. So then thats say 14 peopke your tryn to tend to emails texts n calls from. Toss about 5 personal boy toy friends into the mix u say have on some kinda rotaion of sorts, Anf wow you are not only a major slut now but your legs arms and ass will feel like its gonna fall the fuck off. And youl be tired from bein fuct silly every single day the week. I have had periods where I had my boy toys on my days off. I realized theres noneed to have 4 to ten clients you bang a week and also an addition 5 or 6 boy toys to fuck thru out the month. Its over kill. Better to save your horniness for the guys that have 400 to give you, Then you have fun and youl have money to go shopping after. Its way more rewarding. I always try hangn with a few in down time thru out week and I end up just getn too drained tryn to correspoind with too many people all week and stressed. I d rather just focus on my clients and save for breats implants a car and a pair of christian loubitins, Selfish maybe but I feel in my late thirties I can look to slow down and settle down, not now.
Thanks Angel - so sounds like you've never had like one steady BF outside of your work. Do you think you could conceivably have one while also working your job, and keep the 2 separate?
A lot easier said then done. Not many guys can be comfortable in a relationship knowing that their girl friend is having relations with other men - even if she has no emotional attachment to these men. You have to ask yourself if you are staying with her because of the free sex or you have a deeper feeling for her. Also, looking at it from her point of view, she may want a "non-P4P" relationship or a boyfriend on the side to spend quality time with outside the bedroom as well as inside. It may help her to focus away from the clients see shes and keep that part of her life separate. One thing you can't ever do is pressure her to quit - that decision would have to come from her.
.
I have had two providers that I see regularly cross the line and lay a lot of their problems on me. I am a Psychologist and at times feel that I should be charging them rather than the other way around. One one hand I want to be understanding with any human being but on the other. I (and my girlfriend who joins in with me in sessions sometimes) do not want providers burdening us with their problems typically with boyfriends.
If you have a gf who is providing I think that it is far too much for her to handle her clients and you. There may be exceptions but this is a difficult path for you to go down.
Also, if you met her as a client, you should respect her privacy and only be involved in a professional setting. To many fish in the sea so cast a wider net.
Fin
Thanks for the perspective - no not in it for the free sex. Really dig her and care for her, but not sure I'll know how and whether things will change once she goes into this.
This can be tricky for some people, meaning they are not mentally strong enough or willing to understand what they are truly getting into. I agree with Sexy Mara and the same with Nicole. If you are having romantic feelings for an escort then you must be STRONG enough to understand what your love interest does for a living. There are only a few men that can handle loving a lady in this chosen profession. This can slowly creep up into your head and totally ruin a relationship if you do not have it in your head this is only a job, nothing more! Most men don't do that at all. We want to be the knight in shinning Armour when in fact these ladies are plenty strong enough to move in the direction they want. Please keep in mind this is a chosen job. Only a man who really understands that this is a job/profession, that the lady you have an emotional attachment for only does this to earn a living. This is not who she is. You have to have a firm understanding that she does not have a deep emotional attachment to her clients like she has for you. Some men can't do that at all. They think they can. LOL
I speak from experience, some of the best ladies I have ever met were in this hobby. I had very strong relationships with them. I understood what I was getting into and what they did, it was all good. She also has to be mentally prepared for this as well. Not everyone can handle it, it takes trust and strength to have a successful relationship in this day and age.
If you have just one hesitation then don't do it! It will kill you.
Just my thoughts. If you have any questions, shoot me a PM.
Mj
This is going to be terrible to say but you just lie. You say that you bartender and boyfriends aren't allowed at the bar or something of the such. You under no circumstances should let your clients know you have a bf as they don't want to know that. After a few years and a few relationships I've learned you don't tell the bf your business and you don't tell your business to your clients.
You have got to keep this life and that life you're building or might want to build completely separated.
xoxox
Hoping for the best
J
Thanks for the feedback Jena. So how were you able to successfully keep it from boyfriends? I can't imagine they didn't suspect something, wondering what you did during the day or nights or whenever you escorted. Maybe you were just really good at covering, who knows, but what kind of story worked for you? Maybe that is the best way to go...
Yes I am by nature a very secretive person. For me I work 9-5 and am getting my masters so I can pretty much disappear for days because boyfriends and friends think I am just busy with school. I've also learned that For me I have fun doing this... I enjoy the rush and I can let out my sexual desires. Clients ask me all the time when I'm going to stop and the truth is when it's not fun anymore. I contrary to other people or providers don't see this as a job by any means. It's a fun way to get extra cash flow.
I had told a best friend from college about my secret job, she in turn told everyone. Thankfully most people who had grown up and went to school with me see me as such a prude so it was a null point after a few weeks but it still hurt and could have ruined my career (9-5 career). I dated a guy I met doing this that was a disaster he just expected sex on command like I was some slave, not so much. I've also dated guys and then told them, most men think they're "man" enough to handle it but they're not at all. After a while it gets to them. Some internalize it and act out in weird non direct ways, whereas some will just snap one day. Some think of it as cheating and thus cheat on you. It's a sticky place and to be honest with yourself would you be comfortable roles reversed? It's human nature and I can't imagine a "normal" guy or girl being comfortable with this as a job.
I date/have boyfriends but my worlds never collide, I'm just super discreet on all ends. The last thing I want is a spectacle. Clients, while most are married, do not want boyfriend drama, they may even equate it to pimp drama. The thing of it is guys want to believe they're the only one, its a fantasy. You're there for that not to whoa in your personal drama or talk about your boyfriend... You're there for them and they're paying you for your undivided attention to their needs and wants.
Now having said all that, I hide this world from everyone in my everyday life. I will never let the two worlds meet.