I went grocery shopping today. Yes, I know it's hard to believe, I am somewhat domesticated.
As I went to pick my fruit I noticed an interesting bunch. They were gathered around the melons and fondling them. Smelling them, checking for firmness, and soft spots. I stood there for about 10 minutes watching this. It reminded me of you gents and the lost art of breast fondling. It is truly an Art.
You slowly reveal them to the room. Warming your hands before you touch them with anticipation. Then caress with great tenderness and sensitivity. Moving onto the checking of soft areas and firm areas. (Are they real?) The art of licking is the same as melon smelling. Do they seem ripe for the licking and suckling?
Like melon fondling, you'll know how good the inside tastes when you get your melon open in your private sanctuary. And remember, both have expiration dates.

This week:
I am staying put for my Melon Fondling Dates.
There is a little something special for all of you! It's my I Love Boston Week!

1/2 hour: 180
1 hour: 225
2 hours: 380

I hope you know that the discussion of edibles is under the purview of Foodyguy.

Your obvious intent to harvest my territory leaves me extremely melancholy.

PS that is not a dog that loves melons.

And very responsive to the touch !