hello all you horny lads...this week I am available for your pleasure at my usual incall location aka home ...to make things a little more special I am offering a Saint Patty's day special on tuesday...2 hours of sheer pleasure for my 1 hour fee...keep in mind that I am low volume and I need advance notice...for new comers, please include your reference info with you first email...let's cum together

tuesday-thursday 9am-4:15pm

friday 12-3 pm

I'm as Irish as Patty's pig, and I'm 3,138 miles away...Approximately...Damn!!!

I stole this from a friend

   A golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him.

   Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from
   the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving  him.

   'Arrgh! What happened?' the Leprechaun asked.

   'I'm  afraid I hit you with my golf ball,' the golfer  says.

   'Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye
    get three wishes, so whaddya want?'

   'Thank  God, you're all right!' the golfer
    answers in relief. 'I don't want anything, I'm just glad you're OK, and I apologize.'

   And the golfer walks off.

   'What a nice guy, 'the Leprechaun says to himself.

   I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things I would want... a great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life.'

   A year goes by and the golfer is back. On the same
   hole, he again hits a bad drive into the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him.

   'Twas me that made ye hit the ball here,' the
    little guy says. 'I just want to ask ye, how's yer golf  game?'

   'My game is fantastic!' the golfer answers.
    I'm an  internationally famous golfer now.' He adds, 'By the way, it's good to see you're all right.'

   'Oh, I'm fine now, thank ye. I did that fer yer golf  game, you know.

   And tell me, how's yer money situation?'
   'Why, it's just wonderful!' the golfer states.
   'When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out $100 bills.
    I  didn't even know were there!'

   'I did that fer ye also.' And tell me, how's yer sex life?'

   The golfer blushes, turns his head away in  embarrassment, and says shyly, 'It's OK.'

   C'mon, c'mon now,' urged the Leprechaun, 'I'm wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a week?'

   Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then
   whispers, 'Once, sometimes twice a week.'

   'What??' responds the Leprechaun in shock. 'That's  all? Only once or twice a week?'

   'Well,' says the golfer, 'I figure that's not bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish.'

   

Highway of Lust

It was a hot, dark, steaming night. Luccino pulled up to the gas station. As he opened the door he got out and filled his truck up with gas. As he walked into the store and went toward bathroom, all eyes were on him at the time. As Luccino walked out the bathroom

Walking tall, dark and handsome. He looks towards the cashier as their eyes meet He speaks, as Melody was lost for words. Luccino paid for the as and walked out of the store. As Melody stared until he was out of site. Two days later it was pouring down raining and Melody looked out of the store window. All she could think about is the gentleman that walked into the gas station. She was lost in the lust of a man that caught her eye.

Two months have past as Melody waited by the window of the gas station. Looking for this tall handsome man that caught her eye. She bent over taking books out a box that was lying on the floor. All she could hear was a man’s voice that said “good afternoon”. Melody looked up and saw the back of a man’s head walking towards his truck. The voice stayed in her mind all that day. She knew that the voice was familiar and she heard it before. After the day went on Melody realized that it was the gentleman that caught her eye. She was so hurt as the tears slowly moved down her face. Melody was determined to meet this man again. As the days went by all Melody could think about is the voice that matches the body of a gentleman that caught her eye.

Melody was working the midnight shift as she was walking out of the storage room. All she could think about was the man and his voice. Just as she looked up all she could see was a tall, dark, and handsome gentleman. I was Luccino the man that caught her eye; he was walking towards her. Melody was could do nothing but stare. He spoke and Melody was tied tongue and speechless as he walks past and brushed up against her arm walking to the bathroom. Melody was happy that Luccino had spoken and brushed up against her arm. As he walked out of the bathroom Melody realized that they were all along in the store. As Luccino walked towards the counter Melody went into as dream of lust.

As he touched Melody’s hand she pushed him against the storage door. Kissing him with a slow gentle kiss on the lips. She slowly moves towards his neck as he tries to push her away. She kissed him on his lips once more Luccino could do nothing but give in. He pulls her closer towards him. Caressing her slowly but tight as he kisses her on the lips. He slowly unbuttons her to button of her blouse as he kisses her neck. He slowly unbuttons the second, third and the fourth button.

Melody starts to moan while Luccino slowly moves down to her chest caressing her breast. They were sticking out of her bra so gently. Luccino slowly moves back towards Melody’s neck while he removes her bra off of her shoulders. The bra slowly drops he takes his hands and massages Melody’s breast as he hear her moans. He picks her up and lay her down on the table next to the storage door. He stands there and looks into her eyes and says you are so beautiful. Luccino slowly moves towards he and takes her soft perky breasts and gently kisses them. Melody moans so softly with heat and passion.

He slowly kisses her on the naval. He unbuttons her skirt and spreads her legs ever so gently. Kissing her on the left inner thigh while caressing her nipple. He then kisses her on the right inner thigh each time Melody moans so softly and gently. As Luccino moves towards her special spot he has his hands wrapped around her breasts. Melody was in such a heat of passion dripping with wet from each time Lucking kissed her inner thighs. He slowly unbuttons his pants Melody lifts up and kisses him on the lips. Taking her hands and slowly moving down his chest she push his pants down they fell to the floor. Luccino slowly pushes Melody backwards on the table and slowly spreads her legs gently and slides inside.

Caressing her breast and thrusting inward and outward each thrust Melody was in lust with a hot passion. He kissed her on lips, the neck, while grabbing hold to her waist to gently thrust inside her so hard and slow. Each time Lucking thrust inward he could her Melody moan so softly. She was lost in the gentleman’s eyes as he was thrusting inward and outward harder and faster. Just as she was getting deeper into the dream in the back of her mind she heard a voice and noticed that Luccino had disappeared once more and she was in the store alone once more. Melody realized that it was just a dream that she had and a cold shiver came over her. She noticed that her nipples were hard and her inner thighs were dripping of wet.

The night went on as Melody was thinking about the dream and if Luccino was really there. Why would a gentleman that she met for a few minutes had her so hot and bothered and if she would ever meet him again. Melody lost in the highway of lust.

-redbone

ROTFLOL

Lass you are just too much LOL!

Since there's less wear and tear when using our junior sized tools, is there an Irish discount?

but I've got one on golf for you...

The Bishop, the Pope and the Lord are out playing golf one morning, when they come to a really difficult par 5, dogleg right hole.

The Bishop hits his ball, and it hooks around the trees flies down the fairway, bounces 4 times, and lands about 30 yards from the green...unbleievable shot.

The Pope gets up and whacks his ball. It flies over the trees, bounces over the Bishops ball, onto the green and lands about 15 feet from the cup.

The Lord whacks his ball, and it slices way off to the left, bounces and lands in a water hazzard, fish comes along and gobbles up the ball, fisherman catches the fish, pelican swoops down and eats the fish, flies over the green, shits and the ball goes right in the cup.

The Bishop turns to the Lord and says, "Okay, you gonna play golf, or you gonna fuck around"?

ur not small  NO DISCOUNT FOR YOU! lmao