I had to wait about 48 hours before I saw someone, and I would have gone to see her the next day if I didn't have to be home early.
Last week I posted a request for some suggestion for Strip Clubs in the Boston or Providence area for me and a friend. In that post I also pondered whether or not to introduce my friend to the hobby through some kind of clandestine, pre-arranged meeting with a provider or two. I ultimately decided against that, and I'm thankful I did, because my friend (who I will call Wally) can sometimes be the proverbial storm cloud on the horizon of enjoyment. Anyway, I thought I'd recount for all of you my evening in Providence...
- 6:48pm Available Funds $736.47 -
Wally and I decide to head down to Providence for a little strip club r'n'r sans wives. We take the train from South Station in Boston and discuss which establishment to visit. I had the benefit of many recommendations from hobbiests who knew which establishments turned a blind eye to furtive commerce opportunities between dancers and customers. Wally's moral compass points straight north, so we ultimately decide on Foxy Lady, which has an honorable reputation (not always a good thing for a strip club).
We arrive in Providence and start the evening at Dave and Busters for some food and beverages and then make our way via taxi to Foxy Lady.
- 9:56pm Available Funds $702.17 -
Now, before I ever hobbied, I loved strip clubs. I bought into the entire facade, and like a wino to a bottle of Thunderbird I came a runnin' every time a friend would suggest going. I still had that giddy feeling of anticipation as Wally and I queued up to get in. Unfortunately, because our "guy's night" fell on a Saturday, there were about 186 other guys waiting in line too, and their alcohol-fueled, hormone-laden, and Axe-body-spray-scented anticipation was just as palpable.
We make it up to the ticket window, which is manned by a chubby guy in a tuxedo. He asks if we want access to the full nude basement for $20 or partial nude for $10.....
- 10:18pm Available Funds $682.17 -
and then we ran on down to the basement, anxious to see the supple skin and curves of naked, dancing beauties. Well, most of the "friends" I made in line to get in to this club had the same idea, and the downstairs naked-bonanza was wall-to-wall sausage. There were two (2) dancers down there, and the waitstaff consisted of ex-high school football coaches in tuxedos. Wally and I ordered two drinks from the penguin-like waitstaff and tried to find some wall space to watch the show.
- 10:29pm Available Funds $662.17 -
"Fuck This!" I yell to Wally and tell him that we need to go upstairs to assess the situation there. We leave the sheep in the basement and head upstairs to the main dance and bar area of Foxy Lady. This is the partial nude area, and there were many, many women there, including waitresses, massage girls, and bartenders. Also, the women at Foxy Lady start at 8 for looks. Gorgeous women, and out in full force because it was a Saturday.
Wally and I head to the bar and within 30 seconds are approached by two hotties, Chloe and Toni. I talk with Chloe while Wally schmoozes Toni. Now, I am not oblivious to the false promises of Strip Clubs. I told myself before I came here that I wasn't going to get sold on the "Private VIP Champagne Gold Room Lounge" or whatever the hell they call it. I might partake in a lap dance or two, but no private time with a dancer. It is rarely worth the money.
I buy a round of drinks for all of us.....
- 10:46pm Available Funds $622.17 -
and then a bottle of water for Toni because her Sex and the Beach made her really thirsty....
- 10:49pm Available Funds $617.17 -
Chloe, who is a tall brunette with tanned skin and perfect teeth, segues from the normal stripper/customer banter to the menu of sexy alone time: $35/song Lap Dances, $300 for 1/2 hr in the private room, $550 for $1 hr.
Wally is immediately suckered into the 1/2 hour deal with Toni, so off he goes, led by the hand downstairs and hardly able to conceal the tent slowly pitching in his crotch. But that stripper magic won't work on me, no sirree Bob, so I agree to one lap dance with Chloe for $35.....
- 11:04pm Available Funds $482.17 -
and four dances later I emerged from the booths, leaning forward a little to conceal the chubby that Chloe helped create. I swear I entered a time warp. Do strip club DJ's only play abridged dance tracks? Just my luck that he started playing "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" by Meat Loaf right after my time with Chloe.
Chloe had to go get jiggy wit' it on stage, so we hugged and said bye and I waited around for Wally to get back from his 1/2 hour stripper mugging. I ordered another drink, fended off a few more lap dance propositions...
- 11:11pm Available Funds $472.17 -
and saw this absolutely beautiful, tall, ebony princess dancing on the stage in front of me. I was mesmorized. Her name was Chanel and she seemed to be solely focused on me (or the 13 guys behind me). When she got off stage she walked right up to me and introduced herself. Chanel skipped the small talk and immediately went in for the hard sell. The Grey Goose was starting to affect my judgement by now, and I didn't put up much resistance. She took my hand and we headed down to the private rooms......
- 11:44pm Available Funds $172.17 -
and I emerged from the private room, certain that Chanel really liked me a lot!!! She had a sculpted body and could grind on your lap with ferocity. At one point she was on my lap CG style and I think she tried to smother me with her left breast.
Then the penguin in charge of the private rooms came up to me and told me that I short changed him. I guess I forgot to include the additional $40 "Room Fee", which was in addition to the normal 1/2 hour fee.
- 11:54pm Available Funds $132.17 -
I met up with Wally at the bar in the partial nude room. By now he was completely broke because a tiny Thai dancer sold him on several lap dances and another 1/2 hour in the private room. Wally is cheaper than a Motel 6 carpet, so this woman must have been good. I think he even tipped her an extra $100.
I had arranged for a driver to take us back to Boston, so I made the call and we left the club.
- 1:20 am Available Funds $12.17 -
We made it back to Wally's apartment, sharing stories of the evening and basically complaining that it was a huge waste of money. So, we smoked a few joints, drank a few beers, and played Halo 2 until around 4 am.
As I fell asleep on Wally's living room couch, I was reinforced in my convictions about why I hate strip clubs and love hobbying.
-- Modified on 8/29/2008 6:11:03 AM
-- Modified on 8/29/2008 6:14:05 AM
-- Modified on 8/29/2008 6:18:05 AM
-- Modified on 8/29/2008 6:41:18 AM
-- Modified on 8/29/2008 6:42:13 AM
I love your story. Very funny and well explained. I go to the Blue Moon in Tyngsboro 2-3 times a year with the boy's. I'll sit at the stage and drink over priced Bud Light and drop a tip for each and every song but there is no way in hell, short of a BBBJCIM that I'm going in that back room. Because that means I have to go home smelling like stripper. How the hell do you explain that away at 2:30 am.
What were you expecting to have happen? LOL, admit that I don't go to clubs as much as I used to since I started hobbying but really, it sounds like you had some fun and spent some money. Kinda what happens when you go to a club. I have an ATF dancer out at a club in western mass. I visit her on occasion and spend the equivalent of an hour with a GFE escort. In exchange for that money I get about an hours worth of very sexy lap dances from a very sexy lady and some great conversation.
It's not sex but it's not supposed to be. If you compare it to hobbying you will always feel ripped-off, if you enjoy the time spent with a hot lady for what it is than you may just enjoy yourself! If you are not able to look at it that way then yeah, it's best just to skip it and save for the next appointment.
-- Modified on 8/29/2008 6:41:56 AM
BG, with all due respect, it's meant as self-mockery, as a humorous anecdote. I knew full well what would happen and what I was getting myself into. I just thought people would enjoy reading about the folly of the horny young male.
The folly of the young and horny male and all that...
I just didn't get the feel that it was self-mockery. Maybe it was the pouty emoticon???
finding out she swallows and takes it in the ass PRICELESS fuck master card IT PAYS TO DISCOVER
I'm usually an American Express guy, however you are welcome try to used it as many times as you can
Also I wood like to join your Diners Club.
Thank you
2008=27
the diners club is not located in Greece lol
I was thinking more like a SWEEEEET Irish dessert.
Any suggestions?
Thank You
2008=27
I bet it is sweet and moist.
Sounds like the kind of dessert that I can lick from the inside out, just hope I find the little hooded suprise.
Thank you
2008=27
Isn't it, Erin?
-- Modified on 8/29/2008 3:24:57 PM
-- Modified on 8/29/2008 3:26:05 PM
...despite what Chris Rock says. I've been to the champagne room three times in my life and was brought to completion in a variety of ways each time. Once by a very nice HJ and tittyfuck (she even kept lube in her handbag) and both of the other times by a CBJ. Like in finance the key was pre-qualifying and preparation.
My strategy is to take several girls back to the booth for a 1-song private lap dances and their degree of contact would vary from light grinding to them reaching in my pants to tickle Mr. Happy. I ask the more aggressive ones about the champagne room and ask the simple question of "Will you let me finish?". If they say yes then away we go. And make sure you have a flavored condom in your pocket ready to go. Having that is they key to getting a CBJ rather than a HJ. I wouldn't risk a BBBJ at a strip club.
The alternative is to hit the clubs, enjoy some lap dances, and make sure you have a late-night appointment with a well reviewed provider so you can release your frustrations.
BTW - don't bother PM'ing me asking which clubs. I'm not telling.
I'll tell you where I have had a happy ending and even FS in a VIP room but I will also tell you that it costs way more than it's worth...
And, after all, the night was all about you and your friend rather than getting laid. I sincerely hope, however, that you made up for it with a provider soon after.
I had to wait about 48 hours before I saw someone, and I would have gone to see her the next day if I didn't have to be home early.
The Big Head says NOOOOOOOO!!!
The Small Head says YESSSSSSSSS!!!
Men being MEN!!
The endless search for the perfect err woman!! Its just the way we're programmed.
-- Modified on 8/29/2008 12:25:23 PM
How much did a case of blue balls cost you, or have you not seen your doctor yet?
I know it's all scenery and no service. Have never wasted $20 on a "no touch" Massachussetts lapdance. (spent hundreds in Florida in the 80's and 90's for great $5 and $8 lapdances). Ahhh the good-ole-days at Teasers and The Inner Room in Cocoa Beach, and Diamond Dolls "the double D" in Clearwater.
Call a provider for service, then go to a stripclub to recharge.
-- Modified on 8/29/2008 5:06:55 PM
~6PM Total Funds: $900
Arrived in Providence to pick up an absolutely beautiful Asian woman who was staying with me that night. She is Due in PVD airport at 8:30. Go to Providence Place, have dinner at Johnny Rockets, spend around $20
~7PM Total Funds: $880
Go to Cheaters ($5 admission charge), not much talent, but see a woman with a spanish name who talks a great game. We go into the private dance area ($20/song), and she gives me two great lapdances, including full view of all her assets. This along with the "private room fee", plus a very small diet coke is a total of $60 spent. I tell her I am picking up an "girlfriend" from the airport, and she tries to get me to come back with her, and the two of them can "take care of me". From her attitude, I can only imagine what would happen.
~8PM Funds: $820
I go to PVD airport to await her plane, and amazingly enough it is on-time. She sees me coming down the escalator, and has a big smile on her face. Parking is $10
~9PM $810
She is hungry, so I stop and get her some food: $10
~10PM $800
We arrive at the Foxy Lady. $20 admission (We do not go downstairs) No private dances (why would I want that with her there, knowing what I would get later??). Between drinks for her and me and singles for the dancers on stage (a porn star who my friend was really interested in), and a quickie $2 for a woman onstage where she pulls each of us directly to her G-String covered pussy, I probably spend $100
~Midnight $700
we are on the on the way home to my house
~1AM
We arrive at my house. I show her around, and we jump in my hottub for some fun where she enjoys the powerful jets
~1:30AM
We go back in the house, where I get an amazing BBBJ, then we nod off to sleep next to each other
~9:00 AM $700
We wake up talk a little, then shower and go out for breakfast: $40 Also we go to some places to take some G-Rated Pictures outdoors
~11 AM $660
We go back to my house to take some more revealing pictures in various outfits, etc. They are as usual sexy as hell, and get stored in the computer in a special place.
~12 Noon $660
Another BBBJ, along with some great other stuff!
~2 PM
I print out a few pictures for her, and burn a CD-ROM with all the pics I have of her.
~3 PM $660
I give her $500 for the plane ticket, and for her time, but she only will accept $460 stuffing the two twenties into my pocket
~3:30PM $200
We drive back to PVD to catch her flight
~4:45 PM $200
I drop her off, and head to cheaters (I do not know why though)
~5:15 $200
Meet up with a woman who honestly looks like a very sexy librarian, and not someone who would work at Cheaters. We go to the private room where she is nude, and we have fun. Total outlay for all that $190
~7:00PM
I have $10 left in my pocket. I go for dinner using a credit card at a restaurant I normally go to anyways, and realize I hade a great weekend!
-- Modified on 8/29/2008 9:03:47 PM