Boston
I just kinda use the ol' Golden Rule. I know I'm a wee bit uncomfortable when I meet someone the first time, I expect the same is generally true on the flip side. However, I also know that person showing concern for my enjoyment (obviously) puts me at ease like nothing else.
Even if they don't enjoy it (yes, somehow that happens 
, it at least shows that you're treating them like a person with whom you're trying to share an experience, rather than just an aspect of business.
...there'd be a sad face (just for a little bit lol)....as long as you're good with clit play or SOMETHING gah haha. But hey you're not into then your preference would be completely respected without any resentment. 
I'd much rather we both fully enjoy ourselves than one or the other feel obligated to do something they do not enjoy at the others request. It isn't going to enhance things, there is so much more for us to do to enjoy ourselves in so many ways! Why focus on just one aspect? We all have certain things we just save for our private lives and that is perfectly a ok.
Grace
I believe it's completely up to you what you want to do or not want to do. I have one client that doesn't do anything except chat- he's great but point being, to each his own!
Personally I would never get offended by something like that. Daty is great most Of the time but it does depend on how and who is performing! I would be more than thrilled to just have your ________ , no offense taken! 
Happy Hobbying!