Boston
If there is one thing that all of this latest "uproar" may bring about is that a LOT of the ladies (as well as the clients) need to get back to the "basics" of COMPLETE verification (and yes, I have spoken to some ladies that haven't even HEARD of the term!). TBD has, in all likelihood, ridden off into the sunset never to return and this means that for some ladies the old "I need your TBD screen name" verification isn't going to amount to a hill of beans in the dessert!
I know a lot of guys feel that the verification process is "too intrusive" but, damn it, the ladies have a Hell of a lot more at stake than do we (unless, of course, you get a lady that calls your house and leaves a message on the answering machine! And your wife gets the message!!). I remember one lady that "used to" have a verification form that would literally choke an elephant and then, to top it off, she would REQUIRE that a 1st time client meet her in a public place for a cup of coffee, etc. - and at the "prospect's" expense! - if she felt uncomfortable, for whatever the reason, that was the end of it! She has since dropped most of those earlier requirements but she is still in the biz, is very successful and has never had a problem, that I am aware of, to date. I remember filling out her form and sitting in front of the computer for quite some time before I got up enough "nerve" to hit the "submit" radio button. I have never had an appointment with this lady but I was "verified" by her. Perhaps "one of these days" we will get together. My point? Although her form "appeared" to be intrusive she NEVER "abused" the information she requested - it was asked for so that ALL of the pieces could be cross referenced and if one of them didn't "jive" with the rest..........well, your chances of ever seeing the lady were substantially reduced,if not eliminated!
By the token (on the other side of the coin) the clients need to be a "bit" cautious when making an appointment with a lady they know absolutely NOTHING about - other than some perhaps "sizzling" pics on a website, and some emails that "sounded" very appealing. It doesn't hurt to ask the lady if she could give you the email addresses of a couple clients she had seen (this WON'T happen, or shouldn't, until she has verified you in the first place!) or you should be doing some back channel searching on your own to see who may have seen the lady, etc.. I am a single guy and don't have "the problem" that many clients have BUT, by the same token, from a business (and community) standpoint I don't need, or want, my name plastered all over the local news rag!
O.K. - I will climb down from the soapbox - don my flak jackets and kevlar helmut and "anxiously" await the cry of ......."INCOMING!!!!" 
Ted
Hi there, my energizer bunny 
I concur with you in alot you have to say. BUT, for the provider to give out client's email address to a prospective client is a big NO-NO. You have to remember, that there are providers, who like myself, delete every single email that comes her way. I would rather NOT have any emails from anyone laying around in my computer. Also, if the prospective client wants to know more about the provider, he should take a look at her reviews, who reviewed her, and send an email to that person asking questions to the reviewee. Also, do an ISO on the board of that particular provider. But to put the provider in the position that she needs to save email address of all her clients, so she can send it off to someone that she has not seen yet- YIKES. Anyways, you know I have love for ya..and I am just explaining it on the provider's end of the spectrum.
Love,
Mel
-- Modified on 6/21/2002 5:47:32 AM
Hi there my ebony, bubble.......(oops, better not give "our" secrets away!!),
Unfortunately, NEW girls (and they are, again unfortunately, the ones that are probably more "suspect" by clients) usually DON'T have reviews!
I agree with you on the "not saving" emails, etc. but I am also aware that although the girls claim to have "no records" of ANY kind of their clients - all too often a client will hear from a lady via email -- soooooooooooo, in that regard I would have to disagree.
Yes, if the prospective client has some "where-with-all" he can do some back channeling and either through his "friends" or they, through "their" friends will discover some people that have indeed seen the lady.
The WHOLE problem is that 99.9% of both the ladies and the clients are wonderful people and are having a great time with, and in, this "hobby". It's the 0.01% that cause 99.9% of the problems!! Hmm, isn't that the way it always seems to be - no matter where you turn or look?
I don't say that I have "all" the answers - far from it. I would certainly "like" to see a means whereby a client was able to "verify" a "newbie" on the other side of the coin. Suggestions dear?
Ted
Okay..I agree again with that you are saying. But, shouldn't the provider get her reg's permission first before she starts "dropping" email addresses? What if her reg doesn't want his email addresse "leaked" out? What then??? Honestly, I would be the first on to tell ya no way, jose that you are going to get one of my reg's email addresses without his consent first lol I don't see a problem if the reg is okay with it. But, it has always been my understanding that people hate "chain" mails lol Geesh, I only wish that I had all the answers to everyone's problems..unfortunately, I don't 
lol But I am not suggesting that clients shouldn't be able to do some verifying on their own. Hey, we ALL need to feel safe. Hey,I say come on over to my hotel room and have some drinks and relax...and talk about this another day! Hey it's Friday=party time!
Love, Hugs, and Kisses,
Mel
-- Modified on 6/21/2002 3:23:13 PM
Mel Sweetie,
I totally agree that the client's permission should be asked and, as Chrissy stated it is also "wise" for the client to write the lady he is thinking of using as a reference and ask for: 1.-) her permiision to use her as a reference and 2.-) by what means she prefers to be contacted!! That 2nd part MAY sound "silly" but I once inadvertantly gave out a lady's "private" number (it was the only one I had and didn't realize that she had another "biz" number) and BOY!!! did I ever hear about it!!! In spades!!! (Once burned, twice learned!)
Oops, time to charge "Teddy Bear's" batteries!! (Hmm, maybe it's that they are already overcharged and need to be "used"!!
Good question Yes, us providers do talk to other providers via phone and email. There are times when we may not remember a particular client, so that is why it's always best to still verify, regardless
Feel free to ask more questions and I will always uphold the truth!
love
Mel
I like it when a client writes to me, before contacting the other
provider, that he would like to meet her. Sometimes, I feel like an a** when I am asked "oh have you seen so and so from last year", I am like hello, but I just don't know. It's very frustrating on the provider's end, when she cannot remember that far back. But, if the client contacts both providers, then there should be no issues...
Hey Chrissy and Ted: We make a good team! I wonder if TER wants to start another format "Just ask Chrissy, Mr. Energizer Bunny and Mel" lol Just joking
Love, Hugs, and Kisses,
Mel
-- Modified on 6/22/2002 5:19:35 AM
....lady!! (LOL) You certainly have a "way" (did I say with "what"?) *WEG*
Kisses,
T..
I would love to see a "twister" like that...mmmmmmmmmmmmmm..
Love,
Mel