Has it ever happened to you that after seeing a provider and you receive a call from the same provider without your consent? I understand that a girl can send an email alerting you about her availability but calling can get a guy in trouble. I was lead to believe that the information collected was for the vetting process. What do you guys think about that please?

How does she know who is going to answer his phone?  SOs often feel like they have the right to answer a guy's phone while he's in the shower, etc.

A gal should only contact a guy if she has received prior approval and that goes for email and texts as well.  PMs would be the most, and I'm not sure even about them

No one but you should have access to the email you've previously used to communicate. A phone call or text is/can be intrusive, but people don't share email accounts and if they do they obviously wouldn't conduct their affairs (in all senses of the word) from it.

I can't see how someone could argue emails as a breach of etiquette.

Was she a new provider? They usually do that before their lifestyle establishes which direction in this profession they'd be going.  

I think a girl texting about her availability should be fine. I'm sure there are those for whom even texting is not ok but in this business I think one should expect something like that to happen.  

Randomly calling to advertise your availability is dangerous for the reasons outlined by previous posters.  

I found most of those who do it though don't really give a damn what you think of it anyway. They're either desperate for a fix or for rent money or something or other and just pick up their phone and start dialing every one of their contacts, often begging. In my experience it would be someone whom you picked up off the street or one of their friends. I haven't done streets for a while so things like that don't happen to me anymore.

Nnoway, you hit it a walk off GS with your answer because she is somewhat new and needed money to pay some bills. I dealt with the situation and told her this wasn't proper in this business. Hopefully I won't receive anymore calls from her. I just wanted the board the opinion  about the situation but it didn't get out of control.

I would think that most think we have hobby phones and/or computers.
I do!

I left for a few years and some still had my old hobby # LOL.

I discovered a long time ago that consider info shared to be kept.

... many years ago I got a call during the day with a girl on the other end telling me who she was . I couldn't recall her at the time as she was telling me her name. Her real name . Still , no recollection . ....Then she whispers into the phone ..... anal beads (!) .... and I immediately remembered who she was . A year or more after our encounter , which was an eros bait and switch ad which when she arrived - was super cute , young AA . I was an idiot at the time , she probably just wanted to just come over and hang but I just didn't put it together . I ended up calling her number back but never hooked up again . ... girl that answered the phone , which seemed like a land line , mentioned she was back to her dancing job in NY ..... Damn , I wish she'd call back

A really good friend had his phone hacked by one of his kids and an email was there that was compromising and has resulted in a family split and a highly likely divorce so caution is the word here. I think it is inappropriate for a provider, regardless of familiarity to reach out like described above.

Jack

You personally use a "Hobbyist phone".....so why do you care

My point is that no communication should ever be attempted by a provider to a client without the client's specific permission

than who initiated the email. Hacking is not a casual means of snooping. It's one thing to get suspicious about a message or call you see pop up and find out something that way. An SO who is hacking your email already knows something and you're getting caught anyway.

My point is your email should be secure. I have a mailing list, but beyond that I've never been told to or not to email someone. I just do it and they respond accordingly. I'd never take responsibility for someone's carelessness regarding their email.

I was going to say the same thing... I wouldn't want a provider calling me but doesn't everyone use a burner? Giving out a "real" phone number to a provider is pretty insane.  What if she ever gets busted an there's your number in her "LIttle black book".   Not a good idea.

I love it when a favored provider keeps in touch. And I'm not so naive to believe my contact info is destroyed after vetting ...  

But those that do, I've mentioned that they can call me whenever they'd like.  

Bit it's always AFTER I've invited them to do so. I prefer  no surprises from those uninvited please.

And a good reason to block her number so she can't do it again and also never see her again as she clearly has no respect for your personal life. What if your wife had answered!?
At the same time, I only communicate through email until the day of the appt at which time a text or call is ok to let me know your on the way or have arrived.  I don't save phone numbers in my phone in case it ever was to become compromised, but every now and then I get a random text from someone saying something like "hey in town this week ?"  That should be asked through email so I at least know who you are and what city we've met in.  
Sometimes I even get quite graphic texts sent to my phone which is a problem for me because when I'm not traveling I spend a lot of time with my 3 young neices who always fight over who gets to watch YouTube videos on my phone. They can read, so it's really innapropriate for a message like this to come across my phone while in the hands of an 8 year old.

-- Modified on 4/24/2016 2:26:36 AM

I find speaking on the phone to be the most intimate way to get in contact with someone, which I don't oblige unless that sort of relationship has been established (for whatever reason). I always respect my clients' privacy so I never engage with them on the phone unless we both agree to finalize our date plans that way.

If a provider wants to stay in contact with a client, email is best. It's informal, it allows the person more autonomy to decide how they want to engage. And always check-in to see if communication for any reason is okay!

I don't care if the person has a burner phone or not,its very unprofessional.   I know for myself I wouldnt want my phone ringing when out with family or friends.  Email is unintrusive, you can answer at your convenience,  if I was a guy getting calls or text from a provider I would think shes desperate for business.  Bottom line if a guy wants to see you he will contact you.

END OF MESSAGE

The real issue, IMO, is being contacted out of the blue by a provider when I haven't asked her to contact me.  It's one thing if I say to a provider (especially a visiting provider), "Hey, I had a great time with you!  Next time you're in town, I hope you'll shoot me an email."  But if every provider I've ever seen felt free to send me emails whenever she wanted to stir up a little business - well, it wouldn't take long before I sent all their emails to the SPAM folder.

Regardless of whether any significant other has access to an email account, it's just not polite to keep contacting a client after the encounter is over.  If I've already seen a provider, I have her contact info anyway, and I can go ahead and make the first contact move if I'm in the mood for a little company.

Email access isn't just about hacking.  If someone gets a phone call and steps away from their computer, they may accidentally leave the screen on.  It may ultimately be the client's "fault," due to their carelessness, but that's no answer to the turmoil that would ensue in their primary relationship.

A provider-client relationship is unique:  It's not the same as a real estate agent contacting a client on her own after she's sold him a condo.  By its nature, a provider-client relationship calls for a higher level of discretion.  It may indeed be wise for me to set up a 2nd email account for provider contacts, but the issue isn't just "Do I have a safe account at which I can receive emails?"  The issue is that many clients do NOT have the sense to establish a 2nd email account.  Does my visiting a provider mean that I am inviting future emails indefinitely?

I'm simply discussing this issue as a matter of professional courtesy.  A professional would ask her client, "Is it all right with you if I send you emails about my availability from time to time?"  That single question is all it takes to clear up any misunderstandings, even if it's just 1 guy in a dozen who might not understand that after contacting you once, you're going to be emailing him, on your own initiative, in the future.

Is it possible to keep one's email secure?  Yes, it is.  Is it relatively easy to do?  Yes, it is.   Are there hobbyists who don't think that far ahead?   Yes, there are, even in this day and age.  Is it ultimately their responsibility if they leave their computer screen on and their SO catches them?  Yes, it is.

Is it difficult to ask for the client's permission first?  No, it isn't.   Might it avoid a HUGE amount of harm to a technically unknowledgeable client in the future?  Yes, it might.

Professionals act like professionals.  When I hand offer a professional lady a rather significant "gift" in return for her company and services, I shouldn't be able to expect the minimal courtesy of being asked for permission before she contacts me in the future.  I may have enjoyed my encounter with the lady and may be looking forward to the next one, but unlike dating - where it is obviously, perfectly acceptable for the lady to contact the gentleman to ask about the next date - providers and clients are in a very discreet, commercial relationship.  It's the professional - the provider - who ought to act professionally and obtain express permission for unsolicited email contacts in the future.

BostonBob

This is the perfect reason for having a "burner" phone in the first place.

In a community that thrives on discreet behavior, this indicates extremely poor judgement.  Same goes for gents who may make a call to a number that is otherwise not used for first contact or clearly approved by the provider.

Burn the phone.. get another.  And maybe send a note asking that your contact information be permanently deleted.

By the way, simply having a burner phone does not mean you want to burn it.  It simply offsets risk with a lower inconvenience.

LR