Hello fellow hobbyists,

Is there any consensus on how to react to no show providers? I greatly value providers who are reliable, but is there any way to know which ones are? Conversely, is there any way for providers to know which clients are reliable? I have gone to great lengths to be reliable, but I am not aware of any way providers could know that.

I have endured many no show providers over the years, where I am outside the hotel, having arrived early myself, and the provider does not respond when contacted, and in fact never responds. Also, sometimes I set up an appointment well in advance, and then the provider never emails to tell me the hotel, and never responds. From what I've heard from other hobbyists, this is very common. It's an enormous waste of time and energy for me, and quite disheartening.

For example, two years ago I set up an appointment with a traveling companion, then she canceled because her travel dates shifted, then we agreed on a new date, and then I never heard from her again. As the date approached, and I emailed to ask the hotel, I never got a response. Now, two years later, she has again posted to TER that she is coming to Boston. I am inclined to warn hobbyists that she was a no show for me, but I am not even sure this is allowed on TER.

I hope your fortunes have been better than mine,

Ghidora

I imagine that if you stick to well reviewed gals, you better your odds of this not happening, but even though I stick to well reviewed gals, I've had this problem maybe 5 times over about 100 gals in the last 12 years or so.

You can hope that by being very reliable yourself, your references will mention this to gals who check you out

I'm also in the "fact of life / sticking with well reviewed people minimizes your chances" camp. I once had a well reviewed provider NCNS twice in a row and was very surprised when I didn't want to try and reschedule (rereschedule?).

Of course, i once had to cancel a couple hours before an appointment because of a strep throat diagnosis, so it does go both ways.

I can agree with the esteemed mrfisher that no-shows are part of the landscape in this little universe of ours.  What pisses me off is the lack of follow-up when an appointment falls apart.  Shit happens, and people have to cancel out from time to time.  Once in awhile it's not possible to call ahead of time to let the other party know.  For a provider, it means lost income, but a guy's time is valuable also.  If I were the one who had to cancel, I would (a) apologize profusely as soon as possible, preferably ahead of time, (b) re-schedule as soon as possible, and (c) do my best to make it up to the offended party.  When a lady pulls a NCNS and then blows you off (no pun intended), it makes you feel like a number.  Maybe that's how the lady actually feels, but she doesn't have to make it so obvious.  I recently scheduled with a young lady new to the Boston scene with one glowing review.  I was intrigued, even more so when her emails were so upbeat and enthusiastic.  We scheduled an appointment.  My confirming email the day before went unanswered.  Texts on the day of got no response.  At least I didn't have to wait outside some hotel for a half hour.  I later received an email in which she explained she'd been in a bicycle accident, and had the bruises to prove it.  OK, sorry to hear that, hope you're OK, not a problem.  Another appointment was scheduled.  Same deal -- no confirmation, no heads-up, no call.  Next came another email -- she woke up the morning of our date with her monthly visitor.  She offered to take me out to lunch to make it up to me, and would email me later with further information.  Haven't heard from her since.  I hesitate to report on someone if it's her livelihood, and her belated explanations were at least plausible.  I won't name her here, but honey, if you recognize yourself in this post, please don't do this to anyone else, and know that I can't trust you.  I hobby to avoid drama, not to engage in it.  

-- Modified on 6/23/2016 1:39:21 PM

heolperfesser, I had a similar experience this week. I sent you a PM with more information.

Recently I have been trying to see relative newcomers, and making appointments with them has been very difficult. One newcomer I have seen has actually been completely reliable and punctual, but everyone else has been problematic. I have had no shows, cancellations, reschedulings and other setbacks. The lack of clear communication is especially frustrating.  

Ghidora