Call me unprofessional but I really cant even respond to alot of emails like this anymore.  I don't like to be mean, but I am here to have good sex not to answer stupid emails.

Are you available?.......

Come on now does this even count as an email?
Yes I am just sitting here on my computer waiting for this email from a total unknown person and I am going to run out the door and meet you.

Hey,  Its john we met 5 years ago would love to see you again...........
Are you F***ing kidding me.  I am lucky to know what I did 4 days ago yet alone remember a person named john with no other identifying info in the email that I met 5 years ago.

Hi I would love to meet whats your rate?.........
  Once again are you f***ing kidding me.  Since I don't advertise and you found me, I assume you found me on TER which means you saw my profile and low and behold,  guess whats on the profile the rate.  Who would have known.

Hi, Where are you located?, do you smoke?  Is the place pet free..........
  Well my profile says that I do outcall so you tell me where the heck I will be located and if the place is pet free.  And yes I smoke, I have to to deal with these emails.  Yes I have done incalls for guys that actually do things right.  If I want to spoon feed someone I will have another kid and no I wont go out aof my way to do an incall for them.

Hi, I would like to meet can you give me more info............
 what would you like DOB, social security number, mothers maiden name.    I am not giving any info till I verify someone so dont ask.

 
I wish there were more Mr Fishers in the hobby that send all info you could possbly need in one email

Mr Fisher is the best isn't he!!

Hobby Gentleman of the year!!

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I want to be a Provider for one moth just to answer some of these
type of e-mails. Hahahaha

and well...Get my dick sucked.

you have mail.  By the way there are a couple people requesting dessert

Fill out my screening form and let me know where you both will be....

 
You both are great!!

I want to BE dessert! though my sweet treat is currently sunburned lol

I am most certain we can squeeeeze you in babe...you've got enough cred to bed me anytime

So I looked at your web page and it says, "Well I deliver spirits what do you think I do? That's why my name is bruschi girl."  Bruschi in Italian means "abrupt", not spirited.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE Bruschi Girl because you were a TEDDY BRUSCHI FAN or groupie or something.  

Oh ... Bruschi as in brewski?  As in "Gimme a brewski in a tall glass ... and some pretzels."?

How true!!!! you crack me up but  hit the nail on the head! the little head I guess the big one doesn't work! lol duhhhhhh

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Two different words with 2 different meanings.  Back in November of 2009 there was a provider that was upset because we had similar names.  I gave up my name crystalforfun trying to be nice and  asked for suggestions for a new name and ended up with bruschi girl.  However on my website I did not want to tie it in to football or football themes as I figured if I made references to football terms on my website, boys who liked football would come across it so I went with brewski an adult term.  I guess bruschi fits as I can be abrupt and I love the game.  Brewski also fits as people who know me know I deliver a spirited time.  By the way it's Tedy not teddy.  Teddy is a sexy lingerie I wouldnt be caught dead in.  Tedy is one of the most upstanding football players of all time.

I have quite a few but we all know that is because I am such a bitch lol.

My main one however is the stupid daily phone calls from the same people asking the same questions they have asked every freakin  day since the day I opened.

Here are my favorites (NOT).
Who is available today? Me: xyz and 123. OK let me go on the site and check them out and call you back.  Buddy, on my site in big letters it says who is available today! Instead of wasting my time asking me, then you go checking. CHECK first!  

Everyday, "Who is on the northshore today?" I tell him and he says "OK I'll call back" I could have Miss America, Pam Anderson, Milla Kunis and the number 1 porn star in the country there and he would still say the same thing. Oh and in 15 years, he has maybe called back to make an actual appointment 2 or 3 times yet he calls everyday.

Who is in today and where? I tell him and he says, I don't know what I am doing yet, can I book something for later and call you back to change or cancel?    NO! Call when you know your schedule, I am not wasting a slot for you when the chances are high you will cancel.  Been there done that with this guy for years.

Here is my favorite:  (Mind you that this call happens at least once a week, same guy same conversation)
"I see on the site that you have a new girl, Can you tell me about her?  
Me: all her info and stats are right on the website, including a link to her reviews.
Client: Can you read me her reviews? I don't have computer access.
Me: If you don't have computer access then how did you know I had a new girl?  
Client: I saw her picture on your site but my TER membership ran out.
Me: well you have 2 choices, stop being so cheap and renew your membership or go see her and write a review so you can get free membership again. My phones are ringing and I don't have time to do your honework for you.

As for stupid emails, I don't even bother with them, I just delete them.

Jill

Jill you should really reconsider me. LMFAO  

Love ya babe.

BTW...I have a new respect for agencies having to deal with the "bullshit and wasted time"
as well as a new respect for providers within agencies for paying not to put up with it.  

I have learned a great deal about agencies on TER