An elderly Florida couple, Sam and Bessie, are vacationing in Las Vegas. Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, Sam buys them, and wears them back to the hotel, walking proudly.

He walks into their room and says to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"

Bessie looks him over, "Nope."

Sam says excitedly, "Come on, Bessie, take a good look. Notice anything different about me?"

Bessie looks again, "Nope."

Frustrated, Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for his boots. Again he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different now?" Bessie looks up and says, "Sam, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."

Furious, Sam yells, "And do you know why it's hanging down, Bessie? It's hanging down because it's looking at my new boots!"

To which Bessie replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Sam. Shoulda bought a hat."


Four U.S. presidents are caught in a tornado that hits a state funeral they're all attending and are whirled off to Oz. They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard.

"What brings you before the great Wizard of Oz?"

Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: "I've come for some courage." 

"No problem!" says the Wizard. "Who is next?"

Ronald Reagan steps forward, "Well…I…I think I need a heart." 

"Done," says the Wizard. "Who comes next before the great and powerful Oz?"

Up steps George W. Bush, who says, "I'm told by the American people that I need a brain." 

"Not a problem!" says the Wizard. "Consider it done." 

There is a great silence in the hall.

Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn't say a word. Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, "What do you want?" 

"Ummm," he says quietly, "is Dorothy around?"