I would ignore/avoid anyone on a DNS list. In most all cases they are there for a good reason. Why take the risk?

Many providers are beginning to understand why low-key providers are sought, conversely choosing to avoid "name recognition hobbyists".
There is often a substantial difference in session between someone who courts the business and someone who is involved with it intimately (or obsessively), provider & hobbyist side.

Anyway - common sense rules Amanda.

Many a provider has gotten caught in the trap of a person emailing or calling with a full identity and a work references.

The identity exists: but it doesn't belong to the person who is contacting you.

If a character appears on a DNS list it is often best to weigh the severity of the alleged incident.
Does the entry say "robbed/raped/abused provider"?  Or does it say "he just gets on my fucking nerves, I've seen him 12 times and he wants to take me on a date."
The provider board is a very good resource for running entries and determining their value but personally I pointedly avoid most DNS entries, "just in case".

Consider how extensive the 'work information' is.  Is it an unlisted phone number he claims is directed to his office?  OR does he have 10,000 Google hits and a feature interview in USA Today?  A well-known business or operation that is well-represented all over the net and mediums appropriate to the service/industry?

Personally, I think that work information is invasive and I'd rather not have it BUT if its all you have to work with and they insist-you HAVE to consider it carefully and do very thorough research.  Calling a line that is potentially a VoIP number, spoofed or answered by a friend (or partner) of an undesirable is exactly the kind of lazy screening that potential "guests" hope that you will do when refusing to give you a reference ("I've never done this before-well, yes, I do have a TER account and know all the acronyms but I promise, I'm brand new" "I haven't done this in a long time" "I don't think it's appropriate that I give you a reference" "Why, what will you ask her") etc.

If you haven't any interest in finding out the backstory of the DNS entry and simply aren't interested say so or just ignore the request.
He'll get the hint.  We all desire and hope for professionalism in the business but you don't owe anyone anything.

Good luck ~ and do wander over to the PO board if you don't have access.

-- Modified on 9/24/2008 7:47:19 PM

There are more than one type of DNS or Blacklist out there.  One is a pay site run by providers and moderated by providers.  Another is simply an open site.  On the open site anyone can post a blacklisting anonymously and it goes up, THAT MAKES IT PATENTLY UNRELIABLE!  On the former, there is accountability, on that latter there is none.

So, I wouldn't necessarily eliminate seeing someone being on that type of an unreliable and unaccountable list.  However, if the man is on the former list, and he checks out completely, well he still might be OK.  It's a YMMV thing just like a TER review.  Any system no matter how reliable can be abused.

Just as some men seem to have grudge matches with women, sometimes the reverse is true and the man could be blacklisted simply because he hurt someone's feelings.

But it is always best to err on the side of caution, if you had to ask Amanda, you must have doubts about this guy.

Good luck!

Amanda,  we are guys, skipping around is what we do best. Most of us here are skipping out from some one and skipping out to you. Temporarily, anyway.
If we connect, then we could possibly become a regular.  But meeting a variety of people here is a big part of what makes this interesting.

I think there can be a nice balance between being a shy fumbling rookie and a jaded,"I've got my checklist" veteran.  We are all rookies when we first meet.  Hopefully we can progress to being  regular horny friends.

There are guys, like myself, who spend a fair amount of time reading and posting here but maintain steady arrangements with only a few ladies. There are also guys who lurk and rarely post here but never see the same lady twice..

I would never suggest that you see any man that you are not comfortable with.  Do what works best for you but I think your logic is a bit flawed in this case.

As to your concern of getting a "bad name" for being selective? There isn't much you can do to stop people from saying whatever it is they are going to say. As I recall, a fellow showed up here a few months ago complaining about your screening policies and the folks who, I guess, spend too much time here on the board pretty much told him to stop being such a crybaby and stop picking on you...

Ultimately your reputation among the guys who HAVE seen you is much more important then the whining from guys who have not.

-- Modified on 9/25/2008 6:37:11 AM

-- Modified on 9/25/2008 6:40:05 AM