Boston

How can I provide a reference when I have never seen a provider?
AllyMoore See my TER Reviews 1508 reads
posted
1 / 11

I tend to think that you can learn a great deal about someone by how they correspond in writing; some say there is no inflection in email or instant messaging- I disagree.  

I am more inclined to giving a new client without references a chance if he plans in advance and "courts" me a little bit via email allowing either of us an opportunity to get to know one another and ensure a bit of mutual comfort than if he contacts me with 24-48 hours notice with the intention of seeing me nearly immediately.
I don't know if it was the full moon, lower rates or the sporting event this weekend but my phone blew up with new callers.  Sadly I declined most because of the last-minute nature of the calls and their unwillingness to provide basic information about themselves and/or have an informal conversation to give me an idea of who I'm was speaking with.  Remember- providers are like wild animals, we're more frightened of you than you are us and you are an unknown quantity, a stranger wanting to come into our space to partake in special, private things with us.

I am a provider who provides dozens of references monthly, makes referrals, researches and offers suggestions for my clients by request etc.- many independent providers are a virtual wealth of knowledge and an invaluable resource to clients who are new to the business.  Establishing a relationship with a known provider or service may be an arduous process but its well worth it.  Once you're in you can circulate relatively anonymously or without compromising your privacy each time you meet a new companion.

Personal information, employment information-all capable of being forged and largely inconclusive as to what sort of man a provider should expect.
References are fantastic but their value is largely contingent upon who is providing them and unless I known that the provider I'm requesting it of has standards comparable to mine they're not very telling.

For the new client, establishing a relationship with a provider the old-fashioned way- getting to know one another to some degree is well worth the investment of kindness and patience.

While I disagree with the last minute contact suggestion I would say that ExDayTrader's first and third suggestions are helpful.
You can certainly go to NYC where screening is much less stringent given the fact that the LE element is virtually a non-issue due to the sheer volume of providers & LE's prioritization of *real* crime- just because you can have some hassle-free fun doesn't mean that you'll be able to go home and in turn use those providers as references, particularly if they're of the Backpage variety.   NYC is a different beast entirely.

Date-Check (my preferred third party verification system) and Preferred411 are excellent resources.

Best wishes for your foray into this world,
Ally

limoric 17 Reviews 1473 reads
posted
2 / 11


   I have recently lost over fifty pounds and want to reward myself with an hour or so devoted to my new body lol. I have never visited a provider. My problem is the providers I have contacted so far all require past references. Help!!

eltgolf 14 Reviews 1475 reads
posted
3 / 11

You need to join a Verification Site.
Preferred 411 and or Date Check would help you out.
Also do some research as to what providers will see a "newbie".

PennyNympho See my TER Reviews 1241 reads
posted
4 / 11

Congrats that is no easy feat!!

Date check,  p411 are both a good place to start!

Good luck and Happy Hobbying!

Posted By: limoric

   I have recently lost over fifty pounds and want to reward myself with an hour or so devoted to my new body lol. I have never visited a provider. My problem is the providers I have contacted so far all require past references. Help!!

exdaytrader 42 Reviews 1959 reads
posted
5 / 11

Here's a couple of suggestions...

1. Keep looking. I don't know how many inquiries you made, but there are several independents and agencies that are newbie friendly if you are friendly to them.

2. Travel - a quick drive to NYC and your options sans screening/referrals increase by a fair amount.

3. Pony up the personal info. Cough up your real name, a verifiable work phone number, even a link to the companies online directory, and offer to show up with license and business card for inspection.

4. This IMHO so feel free to disagree - don't try and plan too far ahead. If you are calling to book something more than a week out then that can make some providers nervous. Maybe they fear a sting setup, maybe they just aren't organized enough to tell where they will be next week, who knows? Try and book a day or two in advance at the most.

soflaguy44 34 Reviews 1537 reads
posted
6 / 11

1.  Read the Newbie board and get some "How to" knowledge
2.  Be prepared to give up a little extra screening information at first.  Work number/website are common.
3.  Choose ladies who have multiple reviews (more than 10).  
4.  Be honest with them up front as to your newbie status.

Congrats on your hard work.

crimsonlass 1633 reads
posted
7 / 11

keep in mind that I have many pages of reviews and you have NONE lol

PacoQ 26 Reviews 1836 reads
posted
8 / 11

Now if my bloody schedule would cooperate, I'd schedule some time again. :)

PacoQ 26 Reviews 1491 reads
posted
9 / 11

I started with an agency (Elle Companions; they don't exist anymore and sort of became a part of Boston International) and at the time, was in between jobs, so there was no job verification involved for me.  I had setup an appointment only a few days in advance and made it clear I was a newbie and spoke with the agency a few times to coordinate.  The only issue was that because I couldn't provide employment info, beyond picking a day and a rough time of day, I wasn't given a time until that day (which I was fine with) and I wasn't given a specific location until I was in the rough area.  A little bit of a hassle so to speak, but it made sense why.

Honestly, I would be prepared to provide at least a first name at the very least.  You may also have to provide a current employer.  If you can compromise, perhaps a past employer could work; somewhat like a credit check/past employer verification check.  Sometimes, you can schedule a time where a call to you directly at work happens.  I've had to do that recently, but it was to my direct line.  Typically, my initial contact is always by email; I have typed up a nice little template of sorts and I update that accordingly (I'm sure several ladies here can attest to that).  Thoroughness is something all parties appreciate; I go as far as giving a very rough physical description of myself and a bit about my personality so the provider knows what to expect.  It's great as an ice breaker if you think about it.

Agencies may be a bit more stringent nowadays (gosh, I only started like 2 years ago) in certain aspects.  In regards to a independents, what Ally brought up may be true for some, not for others.  Independents, in my experience, appreciate the effort you may put into initial contact (usually by email).  Not saying agencies don't, but for indys, it's a personal business, so-to-speak.

Just my two cents...keep the change.

snooze_u_loose 2152 reads
posted
10 / 11

Posted By: exdaytrader
Here's a couple of suggestions...

1. Keep looking. I don't know how many inquiries you made, but there are several independents and agencies that are newbie friendly if you are friendly to them.

2. Travel - a quick drive to NYC and your options sans screening/referrals increase by a fair amount.

3. Pony up the personal info. Cough up your real name, a verifiable work phone number, even a link to the companies online directory, and offer to show up with license and business card for inspection.

4. This IMHO so feel free to disagree - don't try and plan too far ahead. If you are calling to book something more than a week out then that can make some providers nervous. Maybe they fear a sting setup, maybe they just aren't organized enough to tell where they will be next week, who knows? Try and book a day or two in advance at the most.
This issue affects not only newbies but also gents who have been around for a long time, but may not have been active in recent history.   It is very unfortunate, but that is the environment we live in.  Some of the ladies and agencies are a little paranoid, (IMHO), but that is their choice.  The only thing you can do is give them all the info they ask for, and hope they respond favorably.  If the lady or agency rejects you,  move on, there are other ladies and agencies.

limoric 17 Reviews 2266 reads
posted
11 / 11

thank you all for your informative responses. The two providers I contacted were done via email and I was seeking an encounter no more than 2 days away. I am employed 15 years ironically enough in the service/hospitality industry, know the difference between discrete and discreet lol and  was willing to provide all pertinent information verified with my license etc.
New body but old thinking. My past life in "I can't see my shoes world "I had found that my charm and personality via the written word gave me confidence I lacked with my outward appearance so the words flow rather easily for me and I have to admit conversing a bit via emails certainly adds another dimension to personalize my long awaited encounter.

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