Without naming names, please, what are the different ways that providers have handled your requests for a "Reference"?  Have you ever stepped on toes?

What's good 'reference' etiquette?  For example:

1. Should a hobbyist asking for a reference advise the prior provider that his potentially new provider might be contacting her?  

2. Should a hobbyist welcomed through the door of a new provider ask her who had been kind enough to give him the green light?  

3. And if she tells him who, should he later thank the referring provider(s)?

I'm looking forward to interesting summer reading!

I will contact the new provider and ask what kind of references she is looking for and how many.

Then I will contact the provider I have seen in the past and ask if I can give their contact information to the new provider before I give it out.

Always get permission first.

I have never had a problem, and have always been up front with references.

Cheers

1. Yes, if you don't she may not even remember who you are when the lady looking for the reference contacts her.

2.Huh? The "green light" came from the lady who's door you just walked through.  A reference is  just that, a reference. Someone else you already saw told this lady that you are not a psycho, didn't smell bad, where not too rough and the envelope had the right amount in it.

3. Sure I guess so. Nothing wrong with being polite as long as it doesn't start to become a bunch of time-waisting phone calls or emails.

You might consider joining a verification site (like date check), this uses providers to verify you have seen them. Also TER offers the whitelist options.

1 - Absolutely. If not you run the risk of the lady not being able to remember you when the other lady calls. Get her permission first.

2 - Why do you care? I don't think it is good form to ask that, but that is my opinion

3 - Again I wouldn't ask but I suppose if you do it would be better to book an appt with her to thank her.

I agree with Yorktown.  

You really should consider joining a verification site, like date check. I use date check and it is a reputable site.  (Also, preferred411.com is another reputable verification site.)  

I do not keep information on clients so if you need a reference from me, please contact me first with details of our meeting.  

I would suggest that after seeing a reputable provider, that you ask her to white list you on TER.  

Stay safe!

Lisa of Boston