You have to pick the parameters that fit a definition that you can live with.
One popular definition is whether or not you can tell your SO about your extramarital sex. If not, then that is cheating.
On the other hand, some feel that as long as they are discreet, fulfill their obligations to their SO (emotionally, financially, physically, etc.) then it's not cheating.
So, go ahead and pick your poison, but remember the famous words of the Bard: "To thine own self be true."
If you are OK with it that's fine. I hobbied for over 20 years as a married man. I did not, however, fool myself for one second into thinking that my wife would not have considered it to be cheating if she had ever caught me.
If you are guilt-free that's all that really matters for the short term. You are however sharing your life with another person and if the shit hits the fan someday it is her opinion that will matter the most.
Ask yourself this question. If your wife slept with someone just one time, didn't consider it an affair and not long term how would you feel?
I'm happily single so I don't have to worry about these things and I'm not judging either. But I would say cheating is cheating no matter how you rationalize it.
It doesn't matter what you consider it. If you are not in a poly relationship and you are breaking promises to a partner of monogamy and fidelity it is "cheating." You are putting yourself at risk of STD's and you have the right to decide your own risk. However you are going farther to decide the risk assumption for your partner without her consent of knowledge. I'm sure your partner would be very upset regardless of if it were a one time deal here and there or if it were an affair, yes?
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