I am only a very part time hobbyist, I more frequently like to follow the discussion but when I do get curious about a provider sometimes I get scared off by the "employer number verification". What actually happens with this? Obviously I would never want my employer to get any hint of this hobby.

For that matter I also worry about the data providers keep on their laptops. If a provider got into trouble with LE is there anything that would stop them from taking the laptop and accessing the data and or email?

Any words of wisdom might help me be a little more active.

Thanks to all.

I had the same fears, being new as well. There are girls that won't ask for this, or even references. Anyone worth seeing will want some type of refernce. They aren't looking to out you or get you fired (broke hobbysists don't help them), they just want security.

Make sure the girl is well reviewed on TER, and you likely shouldn't have anything to worry about.

The one's that don't do this, usually have lower ratings and probably have to take chances to make money. I've wasted some money with these girls to learn a valuable leason.

Not a MA resident so I won't speak to LE practices.

My experience has been fine.  Usually the lady will require your full name, company name, company switchboard number and direct line number.  She should be calling from a blocked number. When she reaches your direct line you can direct her to speak from a script (dentist appointment, loan officer confirming employment status, etc.).  Or she may decide to just hang up after getting patched into you from the swtichboard so her call will not reach your line.  Never had anyone leave a voicemail so I don't know if that is also an option.  

If you search this board and the newbie board you can probably find stories about this process going horribly wrong (lady not following the script/being incompetent in general).  But the way she communicates with you by email and her reviews should provide details about how good she is about this.

Or you could just join a verification site like Date Check and P411 and be done with it...

Ive heard a few ways of doing it that wont raise any red flags for you at work. provider calls work number and asks for you but says she is from a company like insurance company or something. or provider asks to leave a voice message on your extension and then you call her back from that number which verifies you are legit. If I were you, Id ask the provider how she does the work verification. What will she say when she calls. I think if she is discreet it should work out ok for both of you. You can also maybe get around the calling of your work, if you supply her with a work website that may mention your name or photo on the website. If she googles your name and company, often many things come up that confirms you work there. Maybe there are ways around it where she wont have to call. For myself, I ask men register with a verification website. The verification websites do the screening so you are then verified. I think every provider has their own way of screening. But if it is someone you really want to see, I think you will have to do it her way or no way at all. But you do have a right to ask her how she will go about checking you out at work. If you feel you may have trouble at work by the way she says she calls, then maybe you should reconsider.

For example, I am very much interested in RSG. But its requirement for employer number scared me away.

If you are a memeber of P411 and have at least 2 reputable provider references, I wont require you work info,

Thanks sexy1jill. Is it OK as a date-check member?

Doesn't P411 require employer validation?

I hope to be an RSG client some day and will give company number but the two reputable providers criteria is my question?

And some of us don't even have such info to provide! Some ask for a business switchboard (not your direct line), a business website address and stuff like that. Independent consultants, retirees and the unemployed filthy rich don't have that info.

I'd add the plain old unemployed but they can always leave the number of the unemployment office  for verification.

A consultant might often be working under confidentiality and a phone call to a switchboard asking for or asking about the consultant could create major problems, especially in secretive, technical fields. Even where it isn't confidential or exclusive, a consultant is often working for a specific group and the switchboard would never have even heard of him ("no such person at this company").

I'd also like to meet with RSG (and others) but have no business info. References, yes; business info, no. Dang.

You can always ask the provider what she plans to say.  I always say, "Hi, i'm calling to verify the employment of x" No more, no less.  If they ask who it is, i say i'm with a reputable bank.  That way the client is protected and so am I.

It makes me so happy when I get an email with a date check or p411 ID. It makes me feel really relieved that this is a man who wants me to feel safe and confident about seeing him. It works well for both of us since the verification site checks him out and I know I am safe with him.

If you have reviewed any providers who are established with many reviews and we know are legit, this can help verify you are safe. I know many men dont like to review, but it is another way you can show us you are legit and safe for us to see.

Thanks for the replies. It sounds like others have the same concern and depending on the provider it may or may not be a worry.

What about the other part of my question? Does anybody know if laptops and computers can be confiscated and searched? If so what do providers do if anything to guard against that? For example, I have used RSG several times and for whatever reason when I call there is never a problem so I am guessing you have quick access to my number on some sort of list. Is this protected?

Thanks.

The initial post wanted to know how providers keep the data.  If the put it on their laptop it's there forever.  If they are busted especially if it's an agency LE will search contents.  If they are aggressive they will contact the contacts.  Search Phoenix and last years Desert Divas bust and you will see what happens with your info. My advice would be for providers to not enter info on computers and destroy after verification, ( deleting off your computer doesn't always work), obviously all email is open for scrutiny by LE as well, but LE calling your work might ruin your day.  So the unemployed won't have anything to worry about!  So possibly the the verification sites might not expose you directly to any provider that is compromised as much as your work info on her computer.

Only you can decide the level of risk that you're comfortable with. By joining Date-Check or Preferred411, you will only be giving out your information one time, rather than to several ladies who may, or may not, retain your information on their computers. Some of the ladies who use these sites require additional information, and some are comfortable that you have been verified. It may take you a couple of tries to find the ladies who just need the verification from the site. Once you've seen a couple of these ladies, you'll have the references that you may need to see other ladies who don't use the verification sites, or require references as well.

Nothing stays private when LE is involved and motivated.  I would check your state's laws on the hobby and pay attention to the penalty and the statute of limitations.  From there you can get a sense of the hobby's relative importance and perhaps that you can put your concerns within some sort of context.  

The best way to think about this is to have your limits and never give out info that you don't feel comfortable giving out.  And only see reputable, well-reviewed providers.  Then you won't have any sleepless nights.

When I call a gentleman at his office, there is no need to actually ask anyone to verify his employment with the company.  If you call the main number and ask to speak with him, and then they transfer the call to him, you know he works there.  

HOWEVER, Ladies...

It is very important to actually speak to the guy, when you call!  Merely verifying that someone by the name of "John Smith" works at a particular company is not good enough...because "John Smith" may work there, but he may not be the guy you've actually been talking to, about an appointment!

As for the laptop risk, I don't want you turning on me, if LE were to get your information off my computer.  You can be just as much a danger to me, as you think I am to you, as some people just can't keep their mouths shut.  So to prevent any issues, feel free to give me all your info. over the phone.  That doesn't mean you can't still send me a nice email introduction, though, with a few polite lines and your first name.  I understand some girls prefer you to fill out a form, but I'm not a stickler for them.  I'm perfectly fine being more discreet, as long as you give me the information I need, to feel safe, one way or the other.

The bottom line is that when you even think about giving your employers number to a sranger-provider, than you should quit because a little fun is not worth ruining your life.

I've submitted a few but they never get approved or posted. So I gave up trying. Seeing as all I've got are references, my preference is that reliable references would be good enough.

And to the following post about googling a famous or quoted person. If you're not a politician or in a public profession but work in a narrow technical field googling won't help. In a previous post, I used the example of something like a nuclear engineer who is pretty much UTR which is a lot different than being a website designer who wants their name and work known all over the net. You're not going to see "Consulting nuclear engineer. Let me troubleshoot your reactor core. I also do swimming pools and jacuzzis."

I'll keep trying. One of these days ...