I am a very active hobbyist, but have never experienced an outcall at my residence.  I have a great opportunity and definitely want to experience it, I think it will be extra stimulating and have lasting memories. ha ha.  My residence is super discreet, no neighbors, etc. however, the wife, who is out of town, and can NOT find out....any advice is appreciated.

I go to wal mart & get a bed in a bag.. sheets.. comforter, pillow cases, etc.. change the bed.. I explain to the provider that mine is a non-smoking enviroment (my wife smokes.. but who wants other brands of butts around).. I vacuum and clean after we are done and try to get the deal done when there is some time.. (like 12 hours or more) before my wife returns..

I store the extra bed set up clean.. where it won't be found .. if that's not available I would toss it as it's only like $50 or so.

From experience, I think there is definitely some thrill to being at the house while the wife is away.

The key, I think, is to make sure there is ample time to clean and check for evidence post rendezvous. The obvious things like condoms, wrappers, panties, and toiletries of another woman certainly need to be disposed of. There are other things like stray hairs, or little items like rings/earrings that are the smallest in size, but with disaster causing potential. Those things need to be checked for. Vacuum, definitely.

It's easy for make up to rub off on a pillow, and scents vary between people, so doing laundry is paramount. Not only do you need to do the laundry, but you need to do it before wife comes home. Unless you are a man who does chores for fun, it might seem odd looking to come home to a husband "randomly" washing sheets. Wine glasses, wine bottles, all things must be washed and put away. A glass with a lip stick smear will be hard to explain.

Be sure of your wife's schedule. I'd invite a woman after enough time has passed so that you know she won't turn back if, say, she forgot her phone charger. Also, I'd invite her well before her anticipated arrival back home. You never know if she will come home early!

A phone call or two should be expected to happen during your time. At least from what I've experienced, the wife is bound to check in at some point. Definitely ALWAYS answer the phone, no reason to make her suspicious.  

Basically, you just need to be Suzy homemaker and clean the place up when you're done.  
Have fun!

And ask the provider to wear NO GLITTER.    That's rhe worst to get rid of !!!!!   Do

Make sure it is a provider you trust.

I've done it a few times at my house in Maine. I go up for the weekend alone and call someone. I agree make sure it's someone you trust and I usually change the sheets after she leaves. I also check everywhere after she leaves to make sure that nothing is left behind. I check under the bed under the couch even on the porch. Just to make sure she didn't drop anything. Remember keep it simple.

Don't shit where you eat.  Take it outside.

Wear rubber so you don't give STD to your poor wife

I dont recommend doing that if you have a wife.  Allot could go wrong.

Uhhh Duh ! Nothing to do with the question..

you don't care about your marriage. I understand completely where you're coming from, but this idea is ... stooopid?

After I get laid, which isn't very often lately due to financial limitations, I like to kick back and relax and savor the moment.

I don't wanna do the wash, vacuum, check the entire house for stray hair that can be a different color or texture, and check under the bed for vondoms, wrappers and lube. If this kind of frantic cleanup is what you're interested in, come over my place after an outcall and just do a light onceover. If you miss something, no problem, I'm single

Then you're gonna hide the Bed Set where it can never be found?  
Dumb ass, not that you're not a wonderful person.  

Get a room, put the $50 for the Bet Set towards dome hot anal and when you're done, let housekeeping deal with the mess!

ps ... much of this is said in jest and in no way meant to be meanspirited! I think it's a zany idea and deserves a zany response.

pps ... totally serious about you coming over and helping with my housekeeping.  

My advice ... get a room

...if you love your wife don't do it... it's not worth the risk.  Have you seen some of the drama on here lately? The unexpected can and sometimes does happen. Anything from being stolen from to being inadvertently caught. You're almost better off fucking a girl from a bar or Ashley Madison.

But not at your home ... unless you pick up Hazel.  
Oooops. I'm dating myself

Mine did.  Here's a true story to illustrate:

My wife and I were at a fancy hotel once, and she decided to go on a shopping spree while I told her I was just going to chill out in the room (fat chance).

Just as soon as she was out the door, I grabbed the Yellow Pages and had a hot Asian escort in the room within an hour and we partied like no tomorrow.  It was great.

A couple of hours later the wifey returned, and as soon as she did she asked me "Was there someone in the room?"  I gulped and asked her what she meant.  She said she just has a feeling that someone was in the room.  Now I straightened up the place, and made sure there would be no physical evidence, yet my wife felt the vibes.

I then said, Oh, the maid came by and brought some fresh towels and stuff.  She said, Oh, that must be it.

Creepy!

I have gals over to the house all the time now, but I'm the only one who lives there now.

It's fun.

have a well reviewed provider who you know, go for it.

If not, don't do it, and get a room!  

When in doubt, don't, in this profession!

Don't do it.