Okay. This is a question for the ladiies. One of our babysitters appears to be in the business now. She is European, been in the US for 6 years. She last babysat for us about eight months ago. She is not our usual nanny and was never our full-time nanny. Mid 20s and very sexy. Gorgeous legs and ass. And yes I certainly noticed when she would come over to watch our kids when we would go out for a date. Of course I thought about it. Now my dilemma, she has not watched our kids for eight months and we have not had any contact with her since then. I have not hobbied for probably six months or so. But I was thinking about finding someone recently. I looked up an agency that I formerly used. And there's a picture of a new girl, gorgeous, who is 90% I'm sure our former babysitter. Seriously a striking resemblance.

I am not in your community. I am posting this from another large citiy in the US so as not to alarm anyone. Question, ladies how would she feel if I showed up as a client. As I said she works for an agency that would be doing the verification, which they already know me so it would be very light and she probably would not know I was coming for a date.  

Is this super. Creepy, Or super erotic. I know how I think about it super erotic. However this is clearly not something I would want to come back to my home. I don't think we will be using her as a babysitter in the future. Or I would not even consider this. We have nannies and other people now in simply haven't called her since last year.

As I said she is a new provider. Should I give her a month or so into this to see if she continues. Then would it be okay. Would she be more comfortable about her situation at that point. Or am I a sicko and should stay clear away from the situation. Or is this clearly about fantasy and Could I try it out.  Oh and if it matters I'm 40. I'm asking the ladies for your feedback on this. Guys I think I know what your answer would be right. You are rooting for me like it's an ncaa final four game

heres why I say that.
First off she knows your wife so shes now in a position to know who you are cheating on and to feel shes betraying her as well. Thats not fair for you to put her i that position

She is using a different name because she doesnt want her worlds to colide so stay out of this world as far as shes concerned
and yes its creepy imo

theres a million women out there no reason for you to stalk someone you know see omeone else

this is just my take on it is all

"...is something we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."

~ I forget who said it first

END OF MESSAGE

but I just had to respond.

Although we all know there are risks involved in this hobby, but there are risks and then there are RISKS!!

Your ex-babysitter is from Europe, and presumably doesn't have a lot of family/friends in the area, and thus the probability of discovery is remote, and the potential damage minimal.  Perhaps being sent home.

You on the other hand, have a lot of exposure and risk.  Ex-babysitter knows who you are, where you live, knows your wife and your complete situation.   Don't tempt fate.  Blackmail is often a crime of opportunity.

 Besides you are probably wrong about the girl at the Agency, you may just be hoping that its the ex-sitter.

IMHO.

-- Modified on 3/21/2015 1:17:06 PM

In my opinion there's nothing wrong with the babysitter fantasy.  However in this case and these circumstances I think it's inappropriate with too much risk involved for both of you.  First of all how can you be certain it's her?  Secondly, if it turns out to actually be her and you decide to make a date, you had better come clean with the agency and her beforehand.

Think with your big head.  Have the same fantasy with someone else.

I know you asked ladies but I just couldn't resist. These are my two cents, especially considering that she is European. If her family is here to settle and they are in your city - don't do it. If she doesn't care about how they feel if they find out, the risk is too high.

If she's Western European she maybe doing it for kicks (I used to know a French girl for whom money was definitely not an issue but she just wanted to know how it feels, etc, etc.), and there is good chance Western European may feel that you seeing prostitutes doesn't mean that you're actually "cheating", so the risk would be going down.  

If she's Eastern European your risk goes up significantly. Russians, Poles, Czech, etc maybe kinky-n-all and often like to proudly wear their bi-sexuality on their sleeves but on the average deep inside they are more like Americans. For them, seeing prostitutes more often then not constitute 'cheating', themselves they enter this profession more out of need + greed then out of need + curiosity. They consider themselves working out of need but you being there only underscores their feelings about men being unfaithful and cuts into their still remaining idealism. Russians would pretty often even try to strike the relationship with you and if it doesn't go their way can become pretty vindictive and they also have propensity to act on an impulse. If in addition to that they know you, your family and where to find you - your risk would be going up exponentially.  

In general dude, remember the college gospel? "You don't screw where you live and don't live where you screw". To me, that's a part of the Bible. While it doesn't apply here literally, it kind of does somewhat.  I know you're drawn to her because to you it's not really about her, this whole thing is about her being your former babysitter. To you it closer resembles doing a movie star rather then doing a hooker, moreover the whole risk factor maybe exciting all in itself but dude if you go that route you'd be walking a much finer line then usual, again especially if she's Eastern European.  

I don't know your situation at home but chances of this coming back to you are much higher then calling any of the fine ladies that you see on this board.  You know deep inside that you shouldn't be doing this. But again if she's a Western European your odds of nothing unfortunate happening it are better, if she is an Eastern European, you may want to get yourself ready for an exciting conclusion to a brisk action drama.  

So just in case, before you go and see her: Caymans is the answer. Truly a great place to take some sun in. While you there you can also do whatever you need to do. Or even better - Singapore. Further away but pussy there may not be the best in the area but it beats Caymans' any day. Swizz are no longer in the game. Not after Obama decided that IRS alone just won't do. lol

ive me a break.  It would be exciting! Why in the world would you be a "sicko" for considering it?  Listening to the way people are over-thinking and moralizing about the idea is aggravating

the worst that can happen is that when you show up she gets freaked out and asks you to leave.   So be prepared for that. BUT, She's hardly going to contact anyone to TELL them you were there....then that makes her look bad too.  and then you can always DENY it.  Who they going to believe, you or Her?    

 
and the best is that you get to live out a real life fantasy.
She probably fantasized about you too... assuming your Hot.  
And if the lights are dim enough in the room, she may not even know it's you.    

lol.
it's hilarious and super edgy to think about.

go for it.

No harm, no foul, right?

Please report back and tell us what happens!

-- Modified on 3/21/2015 4:26:57 PM

I've made an appointment with a friend of my in-laws who I knew was a working girl. She didn't know who I was until I showed up at her door. Her response was "Oh, I thought you were someone else" she didn't turn me away, in fact we had fun and I went on to see her many times after that. All she asked was not to tell her/acquaintances friends, which, of course she never had to ask that, we are all discreet adults.

END OF MESSAGE

If I were in her position, I would be mortified if you walked through my door. She's working in a different city AWAY from where you are cause she DOESNT want people to find her. She wiped your kids ass, cleaned their boogers, and took them to the park. Yes the fantasy is great, she may have even rubbed one out to the hot dad. Its a fantasy not to be crossed into reality.  

Just whack off to her fantasy and hang it up.

He never said she worked in a different city from him. From the context, she's obviously still in the same community since he makes a point that they haven't used her recently as a nanny (as in, they could have). He simply made that point that he was posting to this board from another city to elicit opinions.
Maybe I'm just morally bankrupt but I'm completely missing what the moral police perceives as creepy here. True, he did ask for opinions. So, I don't fault anyone for providing an honest opinion. But I'm missing something here. The facts as I see them are:

1) She no longer works for them, and presumably never will again.
2) She took care of the kids. She was not a friend of theirs or a classmate.
3) He did not stalk her. He came across her profile browsing the site of an agency he's used in the past.
4) Even assuming it is really her. This young woman is an adult who has made the decision to enter the world of sex for pay. Yes she has a reasonable expectation of privacy. But, it's a risk for any provider to run into someone who knows her.

As far as we know, this young woman may hail from one of the number of more evolved societies in the world where sex work is open, legal and protected. She may not think that sex work needs to take place in the shadows as if it were something shameful. Nor, may she think that it needs to take place between nameless, faceless strangers. I'm not saying this is the case, but it's a possibility.
Where I see room for reasonable people to disagree is whether it's fair to surprise her. Personally, I think if I really wanted to see her, I would have the agency let her know that I might know her in real life (without saying who I am), that I have no desire to out her as I have as much to risk in seeing her, and let her decide if she wants to go ahead.
But, for those who think this is creepy I would ask, what if she were just some hot pizza delivery gal who regularly came to the house, would you still feel the same? And if, like the current poster you feel the difference is because she watched the kids consider the following. You know who else "wiped your kids ass, cleaned their boogers and took them to the park"? His wife. How creepy is it that he's having sex with her?
I really want to understand the perceived creep factor. Is is that she was a nanny in the family (what if she were his nephew's nanny?), or the fact that she took care of a family member (what about a hot orderly who took care of his mom in a nursing home and decided to become a provider? is she off-limits as well?) ? Where does the creep factor begin?
Just my 2c.

-- Modified on 3/22/2015 1:50:24 PM

Full caveat: I'm a guy, so this is IMHO.  

From a guys perspective, as you argued, it's not super creepy. She left the nanny bit behind and is in the business now, so what's the problem? You'll notice most of the guys commented on how dangerous this would be to the guy if this went badly because she knows everything about him. This is quite risky for him. Like 3rd rail don't touch from my perspective. But my perspective is related to looking at HIS risk.  

From HER perspective: She's gone and created an identity/persona to participate in this world and is, like all the ladies here, striving to keep a very bright line and distance from real life and this life. Just as it's dangerous for him, a guy knowing her real life details is dangerous: even more so to her than to the guy. Not because he's a psycho (we hope), but loose lips sink ships. He could slip and tell a buddy. The buddy might know her too. The buddy might be a problem. Or his buddies might be. Unfortunately for the nice guys out there, there are enough dirt bag males (note, not "men", but "males") that ladies need to be careful to be safe. And now they ALL know who she is, where she lives, etc. So, keep that in mind when you imagine her reaction when "former babysitter employer" pops up one day at her incall. She's going to IMMEDIATELY think he stalked her to find her, then the "you know who I am and that's dangerous" scenarios play out. That's going to creep her out.  

Just a perspective thing. You identify yourself in the situation and that dictates your perspective. But that's why most the guys commented on his security risk of seeing her and most the ladies responded it was creepy.  

At least that's what I think the gist of the security risk vs creepy factor discussion boils down to. But then again, I'm posting an opinion on a message board, so that makes my opinion worth less than 2c.

But, by that logic, him reaching out to any woman he knew in civilian life who is now a provider would be considered "creepy"; for example, an ex-secretary from his office. So, why the fascination with "she wiped your kids ass, etc..." from the poster I responded to? That's the part I don't get. What does that have to do with anything?

bottomline if you walk through that door the point of view that will matter wont be yours it will be hers

she will be the one to stop you in your tracks

I have ppl who know what I do in my real life and I wont see them
I keep it seperate
Theres no crossing that line

Its not abouy how you see it
Or what you want like or find hot at this point

Its about Not wanting to cross the line and put this girl in a possition to feel stalked or pressured

you were in her civie life Im sorry but that disqualifies you as one to be let into her other life

its called respect

Your opinion is no more valid than anyone else's on this Board.  IMHO.

You dont have to agree with me, but he was asking for opinions
Not asking how many agree with him
AND you also are entitled to your opinion

no soapbox here just my point of view.
You dont like it dont read my posts

It's an opinion, nothing more nothing less. Yet you replied 3 times to this thread trying to demonstrate that your opinion is the only correct interpretation. It's not.  Follow your own advice and move on. You've already said your piece in your first post

Most of us keep our business and private lives separate for a reason. Running into clients when out in public is almost always a very uncomfortable situation. To have someone from your private life to be booking an appointment would be even more uncomfortable in my opinion. If I knew beforehand, I wouldn't even accept the appointment. With an agency, they wouldn't know of your connection, so it would be a real shocker to her, and not likely a pleasant one.

In short, it's not a good idea.