I am a GFE provider; the level of GFE service I provide is essentially the only thing that makes me notable or keeps me relevant in this business in my opinion.  Guests routinely choose me based upon the love and care that is documented in reviews and I am aware that it is my biggest draw.

Recently, I had a visit from a very nice gentleman.  Very easy to make arrangements, a little flirtation of the electronic kind and I was very excited about our meeting.  Upon his arrival I noticed what appeared to be a cold sore on his mouth.

It looked kind of like it could have been a dry patch of skin (not so unusual with this consistently cold weather) BUT I was bothered because it was situated right on a lip and appeared circular, or though it was circular when it was in full swing.  It looked as though it had nearly ran its course.

Needless to say I was not comfortable kissing him or with any other staples of GFE.  I was very tentative, avoided his mouth, kissed his neck, chin & cheeks and made a quick cut into rudimentary covered sex (after a one over of the member AMP style).
The session was marked by awkwardness and I mean AWKWARDNESS and discomfort.

I felt like shit afterwards.

I've gotten really good about not taking session personally when it doesn't go perfectly.  Sometimes chemistry is off the first time OR sometimes there is no possibility of chemistry ever because I'm not their type or different than their expectation, be it physically or mentally.  BUT in this instance I felt guilty because maybe, if I knew I couldn't fulfill my obligation of providing the service level he expected, perhaps I should have told him "I cannot proceed" instead of treating him with such physical indifference.

BUT on the other hand, I nearly felt like:  what the fuck ever-he saw that on his face when he was shaving, it didn't just crop up (if it was what I thought it was) and he booked my time which I clearly could have utilized seeing someone else-so he deserved to pay for that session.

I was so embarrassed that I couldn't even write a follow-up letter thanking him for the visit or an explanation but today, several days later it is still bugging me.

The guy was  SO NICE I nearly feel as though I should have handled it differently and said "you know what? I'm not comfortable and can't perform-here is your $$$" and excused him.

I know that a good provider is responsible for the happiness of her guest considering the premium rates that a lot of us charge-but at what point are we released from our "responsibility"?  If we bring all of the components to the table we say we're going to bring when is it okay for us to just give up & take the money?  Do we have any obligation to cut the session short before it starts & hand back the fee if we know that we can't perform up to par?

Thoughts?  



-- Modified on 1/25/2008 10:10:58 AM

Just a thought.  Your number one concern should be your safety and well-being.  As it seems you had a concern about your well-being.  You want to provide a great service, I am sure you probably tried everything you could have to make it a great experience.  At the end of the session ask yourself, was the customer satisfied?  Am I satisfied with what I provided my customer with?  If your not satisfied with your services make it up to him the next time somehow, that will satisfy you.  Thats all i got.  Hope it helps.

Hello Curiosity,
First off...One should never kiss or even touch an open wound. It can be harmful to both parties involved. The open wound risks infection and the wound could be viral in origin and be contagious. The guy should have not seen you with a wound especially in a place that could not be cover by a bandage. I offer this thought to you. Would you have seen someone if you had a sore on your lip? Probably not. The "Hobby" is a delight but everyone should use common sense in theses matter. Health conditions that effect the meeting should brought forward prior to the session.
Your session was awkward but of no fault of yours. If you desire to see him again offer an explanation but he should take responsibility for arriving in that condition and not informing in advance.
Hopes this helps,
Chloe Ward

I think you should have expressed your concern and apprehension upfront - at that point he could either continue or leave -as far as your time, who knows maybe he cut himself shaving that morning and kept the date so he would not mess up your schedule, or he could explain it to your satisfaction

He should not have booked an appointment with you in the first place. He should've waited a week and you would've had a great time with him.

100% his fault!

Giving him his money back and telling him to get lost (nicely, of course) would have been the best policy, but don't be too hard on yourself, decisions like that made on the fly don't always go right. He didn't get the session he was expecting or paid for, but that happens sometimes.

It is often very easy to think of appropriate responses after the event, but not so easy to respond creatively to a challenging situation at the time it is occurring.  However, in retrospect, the best thing would have been to address the issue at the outset of the appointment by mentioning the cold sore and pointing out the impact it would have on the quality of the session.

Personally, I think the responsibility lies with the hobbyist, who put you in this awkward situation in the first place.  I would not book an appointment with a provider if I had any kind of lesion on my face.  It is pretty obvious in that situation that the hobbyist will likely receive less than stellar performance.

Learn and move on.

DJ

some things are just common sense for adults. Do providers need to spell it out brush your teeth , remove toilet paper from your bunghole prior to dates? shower shave or be neatly groomed. I am one who wont book an appointment if i have a pimple much less something like that on the lip. the guy who comes in without taking reasonable care deserve what he gets. As i am sure gentleman that was not groomed or respectful would be treated.

On the flipside it is like a woman who knows it is her time of the month that works and doesnt inform the gentleman till money is in hand, been there done that. I am aware some girls do this with the use of femine products to hide the faact. But i was greeted by the oh see my sexy tampon. it was a snowy night was upsold do to horniness and being as this was chalk up to being a noobie it ended up being a high priced cbj.

this issue goes both ways to drop a simple line to explain or to aalievate concrns about an item in question should be on the offending party

Not sure how long you have been a provider but this is the first time such a thing has come up ???

As others have said, the guy never should have booked your time. Seeing he did, I don't think it would be unreasonable to mention this to him. He obviously knows he has the sore so how could he get upset at your concerns. Give him the choice of rebooking or say no kissing anywhere and make the best of it.

Tough spot to be in but ultimately I would like to hear that you told him no. Makes me feel safer if I happen to be your next appointment knowing you are careful about such things.

"Festering" was a good verb. Your responsibility is to yourself (and to your clients) Herpes is forever. Anyone who has a sore has no reason for disappointment and your only mistake was to let it bother you.

I agree with many of these comments: Knowing he had the sore, he should have expected that you would (at the very least) alter your menu of activities.  This is indeed no different that if a client hadn't bathed - except that if not dealt with, this problem could affect (infect) you as well as your other "healthy" clients.

Shame on him for putting you in this uncomfortable position.

To still have this type of concern after a few days shows what a wonderful person you must be !
Your integrity should be valued and appreciated by everyone, hobbiest and provider alike !

I accidentally posted in the wrong thread. Forgive me.

-- Modified on 1/25/2008 8:33:43 PM

I won't make an appt, or will cancel one if I get a cold. I won't even shave the night before a session (fortunately my "whiskers" don't grow very fast), so I would agree with what everyone else has said - shame on him for putting you in that position.

That being said, you should have queried him at the time and either re-scheduled or come to some arrangement.

I would have endwed the session as soon as i saw that if it was as you said. I don't take chances.
Split my lip open playing with my kids and didn't work for a week letting it heal. It's safer for everyone.
One safety or health issue and you could be out of this business for good if not worst.
I have no problem confronting a Gentleman about an issue where my health is at potential risk.
In the end you never need the $$ that bad.
You need to put your health and safety first always. Done nicely in most situations, it will be well recieved and if it's not that only tells you the client isn't interested in your health to begin with, and then why would you want to see him anyway.