Hey all,

Half on a lark, I scheduled a kink session with a provider who happens to be a sub.  We've met twice before, for GFEs, so there's that.  But I'm a bit nervous.... never done any kink in real life and really... I dunno what the hell I'm doing.  My plan is to just go slow and probably start with light bondage, but I'm really pretty unsure where to go after that.  I'm assuming the sub won't give me much help - that correct?  She's aware I'm a newbie but has given no indication of a plan.

Given that, any guidance or words of wisdom?  Thanks

and if she is gagged, be sure there is some other type of signal available.

Beyond that, go slowly and cautiously.  You might even want to do some research on line by Googling "BDSM Newbie Advice", or some such similar entry and see what pops up

END OF MESSAGE

Schedule at least two hours with her, let her teach you how to top her, then have some kinky fun.

Don't go off halfcocked with no fucking clue what you are doing or what you want...even "light bondage" can have consequences if you are clueless.

Fuck...

K

I own my cluelessness here.  Hence the post.  .  

Light bondage to this newbie simply means tie her to the bed.  Gags and anything that impeeds communication are not on the agenda.

Knowing the right questions/lingo is probably half the battle.  "Teach me how to top you" is a good one and one I didn't catch on searching.  Thanks again.

In the past I have had a written script that I have walked the girl through first.  Got her feedback and active consent.  That way there is no misunderstandings.  

As to what you do, surely you have some fantasies.  I still am inventive.
Most of my long last established ones have been met.    All fun.  

Have fun.

I would:
1. spend time understanding what turns her on.  For example if she like her clit stimulated in a certain way or gets more excited with DATY, or likes a certain vibrator o likes her ass stimulated in a certain way or gets off on nipple torture and be careful to knowhow hard etc.  
2. I would then ask about bondage and things like a blind fold.  Some subs love a band fold some hate it
3. Safe word goes without saying
4. Make sure your bondage if you are using that is secure i.e. does not tighten when she moves of get too tight or risk pressure on her neck. If you can't be sure don't use it
5. Don't use a gag without understanding how to use it and without experience Only consider it if this excites her and she has a safe one to use.  This is no toy.
6. Try a scene with her spread eagled and you use what she has told you to get her very exited. warn her about the punishment if she dares to climax without remission
Bring her as close to the edge of climax as you can while withholding permission to cum..  When either by pre arranged signal or your feelings for what is happening, you have brought her to the edge as often as is possible and pleasurable, finally bring her to climax looking in her eyes or kissing her and telling her what a dirty girl she is
7. Do not leave out warm and loving cuddles after the BDSM play is done telling her how much you enjoyed her what a good lady she is etc.  
If none of this excites her or you, make up your own, but be sure you know what would get her going and avoid things she does not like. '
Have fun. Prepare for very warm feelings toward here during the after care cuddle.

END OF MESSAGE

Details

I probably won't post details, tho.  Sorry.   That said, all the advice was spot on.  And fundamentally I left happy, as always with the lady.

Lessons:
- Whoever said schedule 2 or more hours was right.  90 minutes was not enough
- Don't do it in a hotel outcall.  One, the beds suck for spreadeagle. > Two,  incall allows her to arrive early and prep
- Specify (and re-iterate) that it's a learning/teaching date.  If the sub forgets, she's gonna expect the dom to bring the plan.  The minimal plan I came with didn't survive contact with the enemy  ... we figured it out... but...
- Specify the equipment desired if you're a newbie and don't have your own. Turns out "bring your play equipment" can mean different things and clarity there is helpful

TLDR, had fun, played safe.  

Thanks again for all the advice.

A good pro sub has mastered the art of helping a newbie top through the session without interfering too much. Subtle suggestions, asking "would you like me to fetch xyz for you" "should I help you take your shoes off Sir" etc can be helpful in guiding. Also, always ask her to bring her favorite toys. Chances are she will bring a small arsenal of toys she is more than happy for you to use. The first session is a great time to have a short chat about likes and dislikes, which is usually more than enough to get the wheels turning.  

I hope you had a good time