Hello everyone, I've been active with TER for quite a while, but this is my first time in the BDSM section .  It seems like this is a great place to share thoughts and bare one's soul to a "certain extent."  I have a question for the community.

I have never had a pro-dom experience and I am NOT into pain, whips, paddles, CBT, nipple torture, any kind of feminization or strap-on's (prostate massage is ok ).  However, I have realized lately that my dark-side loves to be seduced, teased and sensually controlled by a playfully sadistic goddess (i.e. Tease and Denial).  I like to be teased, prolonged and sensually tortured for great lengths of time until I am totally powerless and must beg for my release.  I also like the threat of a little post-orgasmic torture as well.  I know there is an "art form" in keeping a guy on the edge for an extended amount of time or taking him "back and forth" so many times that he loses his mind and must beg for mercy.  I love verbal domination from a woman that is controlling and owning you and your release, the sensual tease/touch and the woman's ability to slowly break your will from intense/prolonged sensual torture and making you beg for her to put you out of your sweet misery and finish you.

IS THIS BDSM????  I have been doing a lot of research and I'm unsure if I should reach out to domme's/mistresses, tantrika's (i.e. dark tantra) or escorts that like to "playfully tease" more that FS.  Maybe even sensual massage girls???? Again, I know it takes a very skilled sensually technician to provide what I'm looking for.  I've done a two hour tease session before and I came very close to begging and losing control, but I wasn't broken mentally or physically.  I did enjoy the session.

Any insight on what category of provider I should consider or suggestions of women to reach out to in NYC is greatly appreciated.  Please feel free to respond here or PM me...thanks again everyone.

Perfecto

Going back to my ice cream shop metaphor where there are a bunch of different "flavors" sharing the same space, YES, tease-and-denial and forced orgasm are definitely something we enjoy doing in BDSM, and -- if I've said it once, I've said it 1,000 times -- NOT ALL PLAY HAS TO BE PAINFUL.  For instance, would you be open to being immobilized in saran wrap and being tickled?  Would you like to worship feet, or have a Domme use you as a human carpet (walking on you)?  None of that's painful, but it IS as much BDSM as someone using a single-tail and drawing blood.  (Although that person gets more points for being hardcore BDSM.)

It's really just about "power exchange".  If you are exchanging power in any way, it's BDSM.

Now, onto your question about professional Dommes . . .  Most of them do not engage in sexual play, particularly those at professional dungeons, so you might need more of a "hybrid" provider (part escort, part Domme) to help you out with that.  Prostate massage, strap-on play and fisting are increasingly popular activities as men have started to realize what an amazing orgasm that delivers, but most "pure BDSM" providers don't do that.  There are a host of reasons, but, mainly, they don't want to have to deal with law enforcement stings.  But, the good news is that several lovely ladies already on this TER Board DO offer that.  

(My advice: Maybe go to a sex shop, get a small and medium size butt plugs and lube like Liquid Silk, and "train" [practice on] yourself for a few weeks before you have your first session.  Start with the smallest, and then you should be able to work up to the medium one after a few days or weeks of practice.)

LeChiffre, thanks so much for your advice and insight.  I think you're right....I probably need a "hybrid" (i.e. part domme, part escort or part Tantrika/sensual masseuse).  A hardcore domme is probably not right for me because I would like some sort of contact to tease/control me but not FS.  Also, prostate massage (the sensual finger) is probably the extent of my play , so the butt plug wont be necessary....LOL!!!

If anyone has any suggestions on providers in NYC please let me know.  Ladies, Goddesses and Mistresses, please feel free to introduce yourself .  Thanks again!!!

Perfecto

i have had the opportunity to practice my Tease and Denial sessions as a service Top many times these last two years.  These are very fun BDSM scenes.  The Tease and Denial can be played so many ways , it can be coupled with some light bondage, maybe wrapping you in saran wrap, so you are ever so close to feeling my naked before you, rubbing my body on you, yet, you are covered in saran wrap, and cannot have enjoy my body next to you.  Silicone plugs can be vibrated with the Magic wand, the Magic Wand can be placed up under your ball sack, and everything can be taken away, stopped just when you are enjoying it so.  it is a lovely game, truly.

~a

Contact me directly for all the juicy details. Looking forward to having my way with you.


http://www.fefefines.com

IMO, finding who will provide hybrid services is tough. One highly rated lady has SM listed to this day, but when i visited her, she scoffed at the idea entirely. It was very disappointing. Wish some DC ladies would chime in here to let us know of their willingness.

Plenty of providers now are offering open-minded services.  Most massage girls do fantasy fun.  The key is to communicate call, or email prior to if you do not see what tickles your fancy on the ladies website 1st!