"It's helpful to remember that discipline is not a burden or some kind of self punishment. To the contrary, discipline is the doorway to personal freedom and joy" - Fleet Maull, PhD

Do you participate in Locktober or are you a fan of chastity? What do you enjoy about denial? What have you learned about yourself in the process of exploring this kink?

Would love to hear from both Dommes and subs!

I would prefer to have her between my legs gagging and drooling on my cock.

for about 15 to 20 minutes, then I explode.

 
Sort of a tantric sex thing.   Did it yesterday and my eyes practically popped out, among other things.

I have participated in Locktober with a chastity sub it’s fun! As I get older I enjoy teasing to get the blood flowing. Where are all the good chastity boys?

I love a good extended teasing but chastity has never been my thing.  To each their own, but I guess I'm not submissive enough to get pleasure from denying myself release.

However, if I have a lifestyle Mistress that I saw frequently I could see participating in it for a week or so.  But those guys who go all month long...  they're better subs than I am.

I have participated in long term chastity 3 times now. The first two times was for a week. It was fun but bearable. This last time a well known mistress locked me up and used an on line random number generator set between 1 and 30 and came up with 16. I thought “I can do this it will just be a little longer than before” WRONG! Somewhere around 9 or 10 days my desperation started to increase exponentially. By day 14 I was a basket case and I could not function in the real world. Day 16 rolled around and she unlocked me and I spilled in a couple of strokes and collapsed.  

There was also some chafing that developed and some hygiene issues. If I do it again I think the device needs to removed every two days - 3 max to take care of those issues

But as I said after about 8 or 9 days I know I could not control myself if alone and would relieve myself. So I’d be interested in finding someone to let me take this longer than 16 days but I would need to see them say every third day, be handcuffed or otherwise restrain my hands and tend to me for hygiene and chafing purposes then lock me back up for another three days

As I said I was deletions after 16 days - I cannot imagine how I would be after 24, 30, 60 or 90 or I wonder if somehow the need plateaus and is just maintained at the level

If any lady is willing to engage like that I sure would love to try

My wife has locked me in a Kali cage(32 spikes) prior to her lover coming to visit.  It started out  being 3-4 days.  Then she had a lover who worked on an island.  We visited for a week.  I was locked up until the morning we flew home after a week of them having sex every night for hours.  He later came and lived with us for three weeks and I was caged the whole three weeks.  My shaft was very sore and red after each extended experience.  
Being caged while your lady plays makes for an incredible arousing experience.  But it’s not for the faint of heart or afraid of pain.   The sex after was always fantastic.

I would love long-term chastity.  For one, I often enjoy getting aroused and teasing and anicipation more than ejaculating.  I love being aroused for long periods of time.  I love how it warps my mind into being obsessed with a dom.  It amplifies the thrill of submission by elevating the anticipation of pleasure to a very high level and giving my dom all of that power.  I exist in a perpetual state of pleasure-seeking and it is all channeled to my dom, who uses it to engage us in perversions she enjoys.  Everything becomes sexualized.

We encounter Tease and Denial every day.  In BDSM we label it, and it’s out there, lurking around every corner.

Sometimes in life we hit a bump where things just fall apart, and we scramble to line those ducks up again.  Sometimes we don't quite meet a goal, don't get a reward, and how we respond to this makes an impactful difference.

What I appreciate most about the games we play in BDSM is the opportunity to see our power in the moment.  Our ability to stay present and choose being with the situation over reacting and giving up any semblance of dignity, being a victim rather than a survivor.

In life when it just flows smoothly, we lose our sense of humility, being grateful for what we have, being joyful for our blessings.  Unfortuntunately, all too often, it is when we lose something that we realize what we had.

What I also love about Tease and Denial is that it gives me the opportunity in a game to explore my answers to a situation.  I am able to work out strategy, practice control, and be it control of emotions or body functions.  The ability to control is a skill that can grow with practice.  These tools you use in a game may become very useful in real life.

What is locktober

You are gorgeous! Love this color on you!

Locktober is a annual event during the month of October for those that enjoy losing control of their cocks, aka chastity lovers. They lock up their cocks (or whatever genitalia they may have) and they hand over the key to their Domme. The idea is that they'll stay locked the whole month regardless of how much they wish they could get off.