Myself, I'm very partial to floggers and riding crops.
I tell that gal to start at about a 7 (on a 1 - 10 scale), and then I have her adjust up or down depending on their interpretation versus mine.
I like to end up with a nice healthy glow.
Of course, your thing might be getting tied up, or verbal abuse, or lord knows what.
Use your imagination.
Yes there are more subtle areas of play within the BDSM realm. Personally I do not use a dungeon for my BDSM play; I prefer bedrooms & more domestic discipline play.
There are a number of role play kink/bdsm sessions that don't involve impact. Impact play is just the tip of the kinky iceberg. Challenging boundaries is vague but you can discuss with a provider what your goals are. My suggestion; try PSO to see what tickles your boundary pushing fancy then like most have said in other post, ASK. It doesn't hurt to ask a potential provider if they can provider what you seek
GCvC
I see people from vanilla to extreme and everything in between. A session should take you into your headspace and then the provider should be able to take you out of it carefully without inducing shock. There are many ways to do this. Being comfortable with a provider helps tremendously.
A softer side of kink without the hardcore that is more personal, and sensual I provide this service it is fun!
Not everyone has the same desires.
From light to hardcore. And if you communicate that I think your will find a good balance for you 
When your interacting in certain scenerios, it important to communicate what you want to your partner! It make a better experience
I think this is an unfortunately common misconception people have about BDSM. It doesn't have to always involve blood, bruises, or anyone in a gimp mask.
People assume that BDSM is all about pain, when in fact I find it is rarely about the pain itself. There's a whole world of other facets of kink!
You might enjoy sensory play, light bondage, orgasm control, body worship, etc.
As someone commented earlier, try chatting with a PSO to explore what may or may not be interesting to experiment with IRL. & Watch porn! I get lots of great ideas from jerking off to new porn, plus it counts as work related research. 
I don't think their is anything wrong or boring about a little fantasy scene that doesn't include "edgy" or "extreme" play as long as the folk involved are focused on each other, mindful of their roles, and having a blast together.
There is a lot of really hard play that doesn't involve bruising.
Dom/Top: "you can worship my body for the same amount of time you can:
a) do push ups
b) hold a sitting chair position against a wall
c) hold these glasses of water even with your shoulders with your arms outstretched
Your bdsm play is very personal to you, it is your journey, it is where your challenging edges are, it is accepting a situation you find scary/not what you want for as long as you can accept it in service to who you are playing with.
Everyday what you can accept is different depending on hydration, stress, life.
Having private bits tied up, mummified in saran wrap, unable to move, being read erotica in a seductive voice while kisses are randomly placed all over your body and there is zero release for you, how long will you take the frustation for your Goddess/God? And then the vibrators are added but your not allowed to cum and so they are taken away just as you think you can't hold back anymore. Repeat, rinse.
See, there is a lot of D/s happening in this scene, a lot of bondage, sensory play, tease and denial, and not pain. That doesn't make this scene not valid. It is a totally valid d/s scene.
Please do have fun and do not judge yourself. Let yourself free.
Cheers,
~Ann
