This is sort of a stream of consciousness post, so don't expect any great insight.

That said, I spent a few months not long ago on the fetlife board exploring my feelings about BDSM.  I regret to report that although some aspects of BDSM are very erotic, the vicarious experience I had attempting to network there really put me off the whole concept.  To the extent I don't think about those fantasies much anymore.

The first thing is the level of stated and unstated contempt for we vanilli with our little fantasies.  To role play a dom, for instance, seems to elicit a lot of derision as not being authentic.  Duh.  That's why it's called role playing.  It's like wearing a Napoleon costume for Halloween.  It's for fun, we aren't really going to invade Russia.  

But if someone wanted a dom, they wanted an authentic dom.  So that really put me off.  I find the THOUGHT of giving a bit of pain erotic, yet I don't actually want to give any real pain.  I'm vanilla.  I never denied it.

By the way, they never said this stuff to me or about me. They were never rude to me. I just spent time reading their comments about other people and types of people.

Anyhow, I figure if I ever want to dabble purely at the couple hour fantasy level, I'll just try to hire a pro-sub and forget networking in the community

I understand your thoughts.  I agree it is probably easier to hire a pro sub then go through the stork dance required to make arrangements with a submissive on Fetlife.  You need to invest time to attend events and make contacts etc.

However there aren't alot of pro subs available, lots more pro dommes.  What local are you looking in?

Have you met Angie Summers?

I mean "pro" as in paid, rather than someone with their own dungeon.  My tastes aren't much beyond a little bondage and light spanking.  

On the subject of pro-doms, it is my understanding that in real life, most females prefer the sub role, but for some reason in the male side there are more that desire a female dom.   I think this explains the abundance of pro-dom females -- lots of customers.    

Whereas on, say, fetlife, there aren't as many "free" female doms as there are female subs.  But with an inversion in male supply/demand (more males desiring to be a sub) there is an inversion and being a female dom becomes profitable

as a prosub I give up more control than a pro-Dom does.