I feel that to top responsible you have to subject yourself to what you plan to subject your bottom to. There is some thing I want to do and have seen done that cannot be replicated as I have not the required body part AKA a pussy.

How do you go about safely and sanely go about getting the desired effect of an act that cannot be duplicated on yourself and there isn't anyone local that teaches the act?

Thanks.

I'd do my online research on it, read forums, see if there are workshops, maybe consult a friendly professional or two (even if it's by email). Educate and make yourself an expert on the topic. Then when you are ready to play with someone, mention that it is the first time practicing that activity, and arrange for even more communication and feedback than usual. Go slowly at first and build in intensity as desired and when ready. That way, both parties can adjust and enjoy with honesty. Hope this helps

Btw, what is it you want to try?

In some porn on kink.com I seen a video where they used a large metal hook in the lady vagina as a way to bind her. Looked fun. (please note the hook was not weight supporting, it looked uncomfortable but not painful.

I also made a mold of a dildo, of my wife's, that I could make an ice dildo out of. I have read stuff about using icicles in that way but never seen it done. I have done ice play before but nothing that would last as long as a large dildo made of ice. I guess I could use it on my rear but it would be too much for me as anal play is a hard no with me. The cold has nothing to do with it.

I made the mold to make jello cocks for a party at her work. It was a huge hit with the ladies. My wife works at a brothel so sex themed food was not inappropriate. I just think it would be a shame not to find anther use for the mold.

As for your advice my wife and I already play with a high level of communication. Even when we do role play we have a number of safe words one of which does not stop play but takes us out of the roles for a few minutes. I do research everything I do when I top and I research everything I allow when I play the bottom (both me and my wife are switches). Trust me I will do my homework.

It is great advise. Thanks. I just never done anything as a top that I did not do to myself first or have done to me before I tried it out on my wife. She is my only BDSM partner as I am not comfortable playing with others.

I have tried the hook before. Make sure it is placed at the correct angle or else it will be very uncomfortable. During my predicament bondage scene, a long rubber band connected the hook to my collar. Thus, it forced me to maintain a very correct and still posture or else the band would tug hard on the hook.

With the ice, why not start with a smaller piece rather than the whole ice dildo. Maybe play with it externally first and gradually progress from there. Also, I imagine if you hold a large chunk of ice to your privates, you can get an idea of what it would feel like for your partner. Or make an ice fleshlight!