I have 55 reviews, a mix of vanilla escorts and BDSM, but this is the first time in a long, long while that I've posted on TER and the first on this site. I've seen professional dommes for the past decade and also providers. Just recently, I've gotten into the lifestyle BDSM scene. All very fascinating. And the differences touch on the LA vs. NY scenes.

For openers, most professional NY dommes, while they may call themselves "sex workers" and will certainly touch your genitals and may let you lick their private parts. and will always make sure that when you are naked, you are erect in their presence, there simply is no oral or vaginal sex. An older pro-domme who was active in the era of Plato's Retreat in the '70's told me that BDSM always involved sex in the pre-Giuliani NY, as it is in Europe, and that it was the influx of the young amateur/professionals into the market that ended that, as well as Giuliani himself. The amateur/professional dommes may enjoy teasing, but aren't really "sex workers", despite claiming the title. They are, in NY, often amazingly well educated college girls--Mistress Psyche  has a double PhD from CCNY--for example, and view professional domination as simply better hours than stripping to pay for college.

On the other hand it is the very, very, very rare provider/escort who has even the slightest knowledge or even willingness to participate in S&M. I can't tell you how often a very attractive escort, during an here-to-fore enjoyable session, will wrinkle her nose, suddenly look at me askance, and be surprised by my suggestion that the session play out in other than a vanilla way. Only one of Julie's girls would "play along".

Lifestyle dommes and subs always play with a sexual element, demanding your's, if not their's, release.. But, alas, they are usually less physically attractive than the average NY woman. Make that Buffalo NY woman. Interestingly, the lifestyle dommes and subs loathe with absolute hatred the professionals. Fascinating.

Finally, I was told--now this is at least four or five years ago--that LA had recently passed legislation which made anal penetration by a dildo a sex act that could cause the arrest of the professional domme doing strap-on. Is that true? NY had a slew of thoroughly legitimate non-sex dungeons shut down by the police, falsely alleging prostitution. The real purpose, quite often, is that the landlord wanted them out in order to convert the space to more lucrative space, so they cashed in a chit with the local precinct.

comments anyone?

Interesting post!  Great to have you joining us here!

I'm not specifically aware of the legislation that you are speaking about . . .  but pro dungeons probably don't want to do anything to risk their operations, so it might be that they decline that sort of play for the purposes of avoiding anything that might seem like prostitution.  Also, it might be that their employees don't want to do other things, but not that.  I'm sure your ass is spectacular and worth pegging to any woman who sees it, but maybe a lot of other clients aren't so glamorous!

In L.A., most of the professional players that I know are also lifestyle players, so they would have to hate themselves.

I travel & NY is always my 2nd home.  I am from Long Island originally, and my twin & I visit the east coast a few times a year.  I have noticed that NY pro domina's are very judgmental on services they do & do not provide.  In Los Angeles where I have my own private fun zone downtown I would say we are more open-minded when it comes to playtime, and do not mind mixing up escort & bdsm.


Adult playtime should never be limited to this, or that only.  I love options, and variety.

well thank you for your insight. I will be sure to visit you when I travel to LA. Did you know Mistress Genevieve from New Orleans? Michelle Aston? Julie Simone? Mona? All women I've met outside LA who've spent time there. Thank you again.

This would have been about four or five years ago. Mistress Genevieve, originally in New Orleans where I had a session with her before she moved to LA, told me about the new restrictions. Michelle Aston, a splendid CA girl who I met in NY before she went back to LA is another LA beauty. While unquestioningly some of the professional dommes are also lifestyle, it is clear that many of the new, younger ones are not. There is nothing I like better than to have a professional domme tell me what she does with her boyfriend.

Thanks for the welcome and we should try to get others to participant.

One of the many reasons you gotta get back to New York soon!

I think it is important in this world of searching for the exact experience we want- to remember that each person we meet is an individual and our experience has the potential to be as unique as we all are. Or in hobbyist speak, ymmv is the reality of life. You never know when or where you're going to find a stellar connection and a bodacious babe.