is right in between the ears.

The best BDSM experiences I've had over the years were with ladies, both Dommes and subs,  that I had a "connection" with; women who's company I enjoyed out of the dungeon as much as when we were playing. Maybe I'm jaded (of course, I'm jaded), but I've seen, as Midori has, too many BDSM enthusiasts more concerned with their proficiency wielding certain equipment or satisfying their own needs rather than establishing any type of connection with their play partners. The intimacy that a BDSM session can bring between two people who genuinely like each other makes any other BDSM activity pale in comparison.