someone wrote a review of me recently,and gave me mediocre ratings. I'm baffled as to how I should have handled this man (I do know who he is because of clues given in the review, which another customer sent to me).
Now, I don't esp. mind the slightly above avg. rating for looks. I have mirrors and know I'll never be a model. I've worked really hard on my body to make up for it. I still don't mind being considered just better than average. But, the performance rating bothers me.
Can anyone tell me how I could have handled it differently?
He came in, I instructed him where things are, asked him to get undressed,and said I'd be back (I always do this to allow my customers privacy. They're on a table face down to start; its not as if they're getting undressed, then just sitting there naked and waiting. In case they're feeling nervous or modest, I point out that there is a robe or towels they can use). He gave me a look that was both disgusted and quizzical, and opened his mouth as if to say something. I asked if he had questions. He said he thought we were not on the same page about why he was here. I said that we likely were, but to please tell me what page he's on if he has doubts. He said nothing.
***By the way, my ads AND my site mention that this is "a massage on a table", and that I'm not FS. ***
I came back in and saw him sitting up on the table fully clothed. He had a really odd look on his face. I asked if anything was wrong. And he said no. I asked if he was uncomfortable getting undressed,and he said he didn't know he was supposed to undress. (yeah, I know, the undressing part often takes place more mutually, but I don't do that. Not only do I get darn cold really easy, but I also prefer to move into things more slowly. )
I asked for his ID, as I had not done that when he walked in. I left the room again. When I came back in the tension in the air was thick. I was not nude (yet) but was seductively dressed from the beginning. I began the massage. After about a minute, he rolled over and said, "i don't want a massage". I asked what he wanted, but he wouldn't say. He said "whatever YOU want". Baffled, I indicated that I was already doing what I want. He said nothing, so I continued the massage, but he would not lie still and we went back and forth like that two more times. I was getting frustrated at his urgency and lack of directness about what he wanted, so I asked him to please tell me, as I failed the mindreading courses I took (trying to make a joke to lighten the situation). I was also frustrated at what I perceived as his lack of having actually READ my ad or website.
I'm not a "comeonin and let's start tongueing and grabbing" sort of person. IN fact, I had stopped accepting new customers for several months because of things like this.
It turns out he didnt want FS anyway, but eventually told me he wanted a BBBJ. I was not willing, as junior had a cut of some sort. THe room was darkened, so I couldn't see it well, but it felt like a cut or scab that was healing over.
Should I have mentioned it? I figure that would be the more honest and direct thing to do, and would help him understand why I wasn't doing bbbj. But I also don't believe that I can rely on men to be honest if they have some sort of disease, and I didn't want to ruin his stiffness, so I said nothing.
I did finish him, but he was clearly not happy...and neither was I. He was there for 50 minutes, which is quicker than many for me, but it's not as if I moved him through in a hurry.
I brought it up to him after he got dressed. I thought maybe we just misunderstood each other from the beginning, and I reminded him that the table and massage are clearly mentioned in my ads and website. I often ask men in advance if they've read the website. Almost everyone says yes whether or not they have. I know many guys gloss over the words and go straight to the phone number (after looking at the pics), but I can't "make" anyone read the words.
please give me ideas on how to better communicate in these situations in the future.
WHere did I go wrong?
