I will stick my fingers up your pussy, twirl them in a circular motion and then smell them. I will then tell you if you need to go to a real doctor. While I am at for no extra cost I will massage your breasts and search for any anomalies and tell you my thoughts, granted, uneducated thoughts but heartfelt thoughts none the less.  

Then you can look in the mirror and do a prick inspection

nt

Sorry, but you won't get more than one finger in mine, or I will put my foot up your ass. You can play with my boobs though...they don't have a size limit.

I would only need one finger. However, for the squeamish I would use one of those fancy medical probes with a camera at the tip

There will be no cost for my probing, groping and diagnosis. Please post a 10/10 review for me too

I think I am better off just feeling my way around, lol.

I will come to your location.

"p" was left out intentionally. London will be here soon. Remember, no bartering! A start up needs some credibility and cash flow.