It just goes to show - if you act like an evil genius long enough people start taking notice.
Just kidding, he's a genius but not evil. Far from it. Maybe a bit intense, but definitely not evil.
But if I can get my fembots to stop watching Dr. Phil and get their shapely robotic butts out of the lab (so they can start the whole world domination thing), I will be so happy. Then I can finally get on the Who's Who of Evil Geniuses registry. Mom will be so proud.
Just to make sure I'm on track I put on my performance goals to be at least 10% eviler and geniuser this year. I was going to put 25% but I'd really like to have my weekends free. I'm studying to be an evil genius, but I'm not crazy.
And on a bright note Martin Shkreli has offered to mentor me through "Evil Genius Shark Tank". Of course he wants 51% of the globe when I get the fembots in full production. It was a tough negotiation, but in Shkreli's defense - you don't get to be a black-hearted, morally bankrupt, crusher of souls by being a pussy. I've got to remember that - Rule with an iron fist!
Speaking of...
Ok, fembots - time to turn off Dr. Phil and start our evil boot camp!
No, I'm not taking you to the mall to buy new boots.
No, it's a boot camp where you are taught how to be evil. It's not a camp where you buy cool boots. Look, I don't know why they call it boot camp since boots aren't really the focus, ok?! You have perfectly nice boots anyway, why do you need another pair?
How do I know what you will be wearing? Probably fatigues. Or camos. Or camo fatigues. What do you mean your boots won't go with camo fatigues? I don't care. I don't have new boots in the world domination budget. The shark tank guys are going to be pissed. This is going to jinx the whole deal for sure. What an embarrassment.
Look, just turn off Dr. Phil and make me dinner, ok?
Oh, you weren't watching Dr. Phil you were watching Dr. Oz?
Whatever. Just make dinner, ok?
What the fuck do you mean we're having goji berries and cranberry juice for dinner because Dr. Oz says they're antioxidants?! Ok, new directive - shows about any doctors are now forbidden in this house, understood? They're ruining my life!!!!
What's that? Oh you were going to let me have a double feature of Dr. No and Dr. Strangelove?... But too bad because I just made that silly rule.
That's it! I'm giving all you prototype fembots to Shkreli - maybe he can whip you into shape. He's just crazy enough to do it!
-- Modified on 2/27/2016 10:42:56 PM
Nice.