I used to be so into this hobby. But since the divorce i have been very uninterested. I have been so busy taking care of my daughter and trying to date that it has left very little time to play. it has honestly been more fun trying to scare up some "strange" than to pay for it. plus, money has been tight with the training for the fire department. I just don't understand. Has any of the other hobbyests came in to this in their experiance. is it my age, im 26, or is it just me. i want to get back into the swing of things, especially since jolie is back, but just have not found the want to. A little help please.
It's not just you. I'm 30 and just got out of a long relationship. Pre-relationship I was heavy into the hobby. But post...not at all. Like you I seem to have more fun looking for an actual date. I dunno...maybe it was a fad for us? I have no idea. But I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone.
He has a problem because he does not want to see a provider and would rather try to have a real date? I think it's time for you to do some introspection. People see providers for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it is for just that; variety. For many, providers are a substitute for the real thing, maybe because they want to stay married, but are not having sex at home, or if they can't get a real date, for whatever reason. Maybe they work too many hours, are not particularly attractive, too shy, or some other reason. I think he should be glad to be out there playing the real game and not the substitute one.
Don't think that many of the providers don't often feel exactly the same way, the only difference is they get paid. Someone once said...Money can't buy love, but it can buy a reasonable facsimile.
No. It's not strange. I find that my hobbying occurs in phases. Some regular activity and then periods where the urge is not so strong.
Wife, kids, family, career, and other peripheral activities, responsibilities, and diversions of life happen. As long as you can balance it all and keep it in perspective that is comfortable for you.....you don't have a problem.
Life is what happens when you're busy doing other things.
While in any sort of LTR, be it marriage, or just a serious 3 year relationship, there is something about the thrill ride you get from seeing a provider. Danger, excitement... the getting away with it. All of this is part of what makes seeing a provider attractive.
Now as far as Divorce goes... yeah, that changes everything. It changes who you are, and certainly changes your perspective on things. The things you like change, even if for a time. While you certainly have more options to try the relationship route, don't forget that TER is a community of friends and support all it's own. There is always an ear to bend when you need it here.
I can see your point. Life has us going thru so many different turns and up's and downs. You are not alone at all. I work alot of hours trying to keep my business running and all that comes with it. Sometimes money is just not there and sometimes the drive has wildered away for lack of time. There is nothing like being in a relationship and getting what you need. Now, strange is good don't get me wrong. But, staying home is good too. It seems to me you want more than just some strange. You just might want some good ole fashioned home COOKING!!! We all do grow up... Needs and wants always change. Just maybe your needs are in a different mode.
I did call you out of the blue to ask if you were up to attending a concert not far from your neck of the woods (I think). You are a neat guy. Whoever ends up with you (dating or in this business), they are lucky to have a peice of your time.
Good luck with the fire department training. I am surprised you stopped doing what you were doing before. Most (I think) make changes throughout life and wonder if they were the right decisions they made or not. Do what your intuition tells you to do. I gather that you feel drawn to helping others. I feel that way, but could not do every third day for years being a fireman. I would do anything at any moment to help anyone out, but being a fireman (or similar profession) exposes you to a lot of pain out of your control. I have thought about it some since earlier posting on this profession involving you. I think you will be a fine fireman (and in all ways possible).
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