(Take it in the humor it was intended for)

The Difference
*A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
*A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

The Style
*Men wake up as good looking as they went to bed.
*Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

Spending
*A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one dollar item.
*A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item she doesn't want or need.

Understanding
*To be happy with a man, a woman must understand him a lot and love him a little.
*To be happy with a woman, a man must love her a lot and try not to understand her at all.

Marriage
*A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
*A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

Worrying
*A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
*A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Husbands
*Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy.  
     One is to let her think she is having her way, the other is to let her have it.

Life Expectancy
*Married men live longer than single men, but married men are more willing to die.

Memory
*Any married man should quickly forget his mistakes, as there is no use in two people remembering the same thing.

The Battle
*The woman has the last word in any argument.  Anything a man says after that is simply the beginning of a new argument.