I don't think there is one definition for this. It's all a matter of communication. You must discuss what you expect. If you are hesitant to discuss your likes and dislikes you will probably not have much fun.
Not to say that you might not really know. If that's the case, then say that. A true Dom will then lead you thru several areas of play. They will study your response and body language. They will not continue an area of play you are not at least tolerating. She will make sure you have safe words to slow play or stop play altogether. Don't hesitate to use them, you won't piss them off. Don't expect to have the perfect play for at least a few play times.
A true Dom will spend time with you after play is over and discuss what worked, didn't work, what you want to expand on or never try again
A lot of guys ask why Doms get paid so much for what they do. It's a LOT of work for them, if they do it right. If your thing is to get your hands tied, ass spanked playfully, jerked off. Then that's great for you. Some of use have evolved to more elaborate play, not better, just different i have been fortunate to meet some real professional Doms who taught me. My sub play starts days before with emails dictating tasks for me to perform and leading me up to the drive there and arriving. She should be compensated for her time, therefore I pay a little more. But that's my thing. It works for me and us.
Sometimes I feel like a lighter more sensual play. Sometimes I feel like a kinky girlfriend gone wild, and sometimes I like her to wear leather and dominate me totally. It's my responsibility to make sure she knows how I feel. How can she know what I'm looking for.
It takes time to develope that kind of trust. Enjoy your play.
D
