I have to rant for a moment but in doing so I am hoping for some help from others.  

If I have saw a person I will happily give any provider a reference.  I will not tell his specifics but I will tell you if you are going to be safe and that he is real.  If he specifically made me smile I may ask you to give him a kiss for me.      

No matter what is said on this board about screening and sisterhood it is not always that way.  
We have got to find a way to make this work for ALL of us.  Even if that means putting the petty bickering aside.  

My NEXT and even larger issue is the one that is touchy.  

I DO NOT blame the men anylonger for not wanting to give their personal information.  I have worked out other ways for me to feel safe than to require his personal numbers and such.  BUT IT IS NOT FOOL PROOF.  

I was contacted by a former hobbiest wife yesterday.  Her man was ratted out by the woman he was having an affair with (a provider). He trusted her and told her all about his life so when he didn't leave the wife (like he promised) she showed up on his doorstep to tell his dirty little secrets to his MRS.  NOW lucky for him his wife loves him and is working thru this with him but on THANKSGIVING DAY yet another provider called this same hobbiest to tell him about the tragic loss of Ms Lundon. Imagine that this was a family day and his wife had to find out about this too.  NOW she is looking into seeing what is happening in our little world here.

Do we not have enough issues to deal with, without inviting the wifes into it.  I had my own run in with one 2 years ago.  I spoke to her on the PC thinking it was my gent friend.  

I have gotten closer to a few of my clients than I should have and I do not regret any moment of that with any of them.  Specifically 3 of them that I would have done anything for.  I could have and did imagine what it would be like to live happily ever after.  I know they had strong feelings as well.  I know that people can genuinely love in this hobby we all have.  However, I still know he is married and we have our place.  If it was to be in his home and calling him all the time that ring would be on our finger not someone elses.

With all the cards on the table how can we reference with out having to have their addresses and work numbers and home numbers.  

So I am offering for anyone to call me or use me for a reference ANYTIME DAY OR NITE.

I had even thought about on my message board in my site doing a good client forum of course for those interested only.  

Anyway,  I do not know the answer but I know there has to be a soluton or we are all going to be looking for something else to do with out time.

XOXOXO
TO ALL
HEIDI  

PLEASE,  PLAY SAFELY!!!

If a provider asks for my home address and my home phone number, my response always will be "I don't think this will workout for us and sorry that I bothered you". This is the deal.

I am happy to give them my Mobile Phone and work number as long as I get the feeling the provider is prudent and classy enough to use good judgement. If not the the deal will be the same.

Any provider wanting to get Home Address and Home Phone Number is asking for something she is not going to get from respectable hobbysts, so the great logic of having added security ends up being either complete security or amounts to taking risk. Somehow, my gut tells me hobbysts willing to give Home Phone and Home Adress has a screw loose, especially if they are married.

Just the way I view things and I am kepping it.

Not intended against anyone in particular

i agree giving out home number and address is a no no. i'm single and really don't mind giving out that info though but would perfer not too. what i think should be done is to have a provider meeting in which everyone shares there verification methods and come up with one way to screen clients. i rearly get screened since i do out calls more than incalls but i once helped out a provider in screening me but suggesting we do a 3way with my credit card company in which i called them up inputed my card number on the phone pad and just asked the customer service rep if you could verify my phone number and address. that's one way, but then again not everyone is comfortable giving out there address if they're just doing an incall.

anyway i was also thinking about a client verification system online. in which providers can login to a site and put in the client first name and letter of last name along with an incomplete contact number they used. (i.e. name: John D. contact: 678-x4x-2x25) if the system finds the client it would show a brief review ... it'll say if he was Trustworthy, showed on time, or if he was Rude, etc. anyway the system would only be accessible to providers and clients info would not be in a completed state which means there would be no full first and last night or complete contact number to call back in the future. just enough info to verify and make a 90% assumption that you're meeting the actual person. anyway that's my idea, i thought about doing it and i may just do it and provide it as a tool to providers. the site would be setup on a foreign webhosting server, with security measures to protect everything. few examples would be inputing an invalid password or user would block out the real account, and/or log the user into a fake db area, instant db removal and deleting. stuff like that =)

if anyone likes, i'll create it and set it up and give it a test run to see how it'll really work.

So I understand everything everyone is saying. And to be honest every person is different and you cant verify everyone the same. If someone doesnt want to verify for me. I say maybe next time. I take refrences from only providers who will actually remember the clients. Whats the use if she cant remember his name. As for the hooking up thing. I shake my finger at both the provider and the husband. what where they thinking. That man is married. Dont call his house. that makes it bad for us as women. Men cheat, so what thats life...get over it.. I am sorry girl if you ever need a refrence give me a call...i promise i will be nice...

some providers also get thrown off by a females voice. likek ohhh no it is somebody's wife...to find out it is another provider they rush off...lol yall have a fantastic week

kisses

we as providers must accept the risk that comes along with the game.  First, there are more people (wink) than hobbyist and providers reading this board.  So we should act accordingly by not over stating how we verify the hobbyist or telling to much info on this public board.  

Heidi, You are a good provider and you have a decent heart so of course when someone contacts you about a reference all they will get is a kind hearted person who is willing to go out of her way.   You can't expect for everybody to be like us (smile).
You know in your heart that you are doing the right thing but there are ladies who feels like you/others are there biggest competition.   In a Billion dollar industry there is enough to go around.  There is no need for us to be nasty and show our true colors.  We are ladies not animals so please treat others the way you would like to be treated.

I admit there seems to be a problem and we need to all stick together but IMHO it seems to be everybody for themselves.  Even with the recent tragies we still have not found a common ground in helping each other out.  OK. Maybe somebody needs to step up to the plate and arrange a lunch/dinner meeting for us all if that is even possible.  

With the death of Cheryl,Lundon and now another girl in Chicago found Assulted yesterday we must screen its manditory.

If any of you ladies/gents have an idea please let us all know so we can work something out that we all can agree on.  

B/C important info only try not to post details on public boards.  


Heidi keep your head up honey and it will work out one day.
Take care and be safe.
Loni



-- Modified on 12/3/2004 7:38:42 AM

I believe there are few on-line verification systems, Room Service and date-check are two such service that comes to mind.

I have always wondered, why a provider can't deny service to a hobbyst, when they meet and the provider has "gut feel" something doesn't fee quite right.

There may issues such as the pissed off hobbyst calling LE.

By the way, if you give me your First Name, Last Intitial and an incomplete phone number, I will find rest of your personal information in few days. Risky Business.

Why,

You can connect a telephone number to an area and narrow it down to a zip code and even to an area with the zip code. A simple program would do this in a very shor time.

Just my 02¢

In my opinion I think that providers should know all the lines that men can run on us ladies, they all love us and they are all going to leave their wives (umhumm) but heck I dont know bout yall but I didt get in the business to find a husband I got in the business cause I wanted to play with an assortment of people and have fun and experience things I might not otherwise, for a provider to believe the lines quite comical, And for one to actually show up at a guys house OMG..WTF was going on in her head, and I would never call a guy unless he has already said "call me anytime" Ladies, we know better than that.. we are Marital Aids not Homewreckers!! Lets not let Atlanta Ladies get a bad rep. because of a few bad apples..
nuff said.. for now.. DeAnna

Does this work for cell phone numbers??

What would be the point?  As a provider, there is one thing and only one thing that will tell me what I need to know about you, and that is how you spend your time PROFESSIONALLY, not personally (and by professionally, I mean what you do FULL-TIME, not moonlighting in addition to being LE).  

And by the way, having a brief number to call you back at work is okay, but having a plausible conversational story in which you leisurely converse with me about what you do and why you enjoy it and what it entails goes much further to easing my mind (not so I can invade your life).  A client who voluntarily approaches with professional signatures and introductions like, "Hi, this is Frank Mills.  I saw your ad on Eros, and I think it's great that you seem so different from everything else, in that you offer ______ or _______, and you seem much more approachable/upscale/intelligent/honest than many others.  I'm a realtor here in the Atlanta area, with buyahouseforless.com.  If you called me back at work, I would appreciate it if you would be discreet and say that you're Mandy from Cisco calling about the Firenze account..."  All these things are vastly preferable, as they give an actual complete picture to the provider, rather than just a succinct, "Hi.  Can you do me at 2:30?  Here's my number."  It's not just WHAT info you do or don't provide, but HOW you do so.

Any member of LE has these:
A driver's license
A home telephone number and address

Any member of LE can have this within a couple of days' time (or a few minutes with a good printer and card stock):
A business card (absolutely worthless)

A client who is legitimate has only ONE thing to establish with a provider in order to assure her well-being, and that is where he works, not where he lives.  And, as another poster stated, morons who show up at clients' houses really do make the rest of us look bad.  Perhaps as clients it's also important to make sure you're not choosing the level of provider who could even be that stupid in the first place.  If you go with quality, I can't imagine anything like this happening.  Always remember:  you get what you pay for.

Now I'm really afraid and nervous.  It makes me want to stop doing this all together.  As a hobbyists, I'm as afraid of LE and a bad intentioned provider as providers may be of bad hobbyists.  If I have to or feel I need to give out to much information on me, then I walk.  I had one provider ask for the last four digits of my SS#.  Now what kind of sense does that make.  Most of us hobbyists are well meaning people who just like a little extra on the side.  I have no intentions of bringing harm to anyone.  I just wish someone could come up with an easy none threatening way of letting the provider know, I'm okay to deal with.

true you can do that, but why would anyone want to go through that much trouble? only if that person did something to warrant that (a serious crime) much trouble would anyone take the time of having a program access phone databases and match up "possible" numbers and locations of that person. which if that was the case by all means i'd say do it.

you say. . . Do we not have enough issues to deal with, without inviting the wifes into it.  I had my own run in with one 2 years ago.  I spoke to her on the PC thinking it was my gent friend.  

It's no secret that I despise you and I honestly try to keep to Myself, but when I see you blatantly lie I WILL have something to say.

If you are going to bring such issues up, tell them the truth.
Yes it is true that you did not know that you were talking to the gentelman's wife at first, but she did tell you immediately after you IMed who she was, she asked who you were.  I know this because the gentelman you speak of showed Me the IM conversation from his archives.  You told her that you don't see married men and that he had been seeing Me, etc.  You ratted the poor guy out because you kept offering him free sessions and he stood you up on one of them.  That's why you IMed him, to ask him where he was the evening before.  I had to talk to the guys wife to tell her you were lieing, in order to help save their marriage, after the fact.  They still ended up separating, but are back together now.

I also used a refrence and contacted you once and you got pissy with Me, saying that I knew you had seen the guy and that I was trying to make you jealous.  I always check refrences if someone gives them to Me.

You can say what you want to say heidi, but you and I both know that you're lieing through your teeth and although I may be acting petty, that's not the case, I am tired of you lieing and it's how I feel.  Stop behaving as a martyr, you are fake, full of shit and the biggest back stabber I have ever came across!  I am sure this post may rise some anger out of some people, but people will learn soon enough that you are a manipulating, back stabbing bit@h up to no good.


-- Modified on 12/4/2004 9:12:41 AM

I had a huge response for you and still do

However I chose not to put it here

I am not going to argue with you as you have made and shown time and time again how dangerous you are to people that do not see it your way.

I am adding it to my site for anyone interested

xoxo
HEIDI



-- Modified on 12/4/2004 10:57:13 AM

... and y'all come across like a couple of ho's fighting over a pimp.  Give it a rest.

... and y'all come across like a couple of ho's fighting over a pimp.  Give it a rest.

You can say what you wanna say about Heidi.. She and I have had our differences, what the hell we are women.. so we aint gonna always agree and get along.. but when it comes to aspects of the business then we need to not fight.. anywhoo.. on the above subject I know for a fact that Heidi is not lying and the providers in question are in the wrong .. none of us should cross that line and start knocking on doors and calling guys and talking to wives, that is simply not our territory and seems like a few ladies are trying to spoil it for the rest of us..
seems like some of us need to get the facts str8 before we start tattle tailing..