I am not ashamed to admit that this has been an eye opener for me. It scared me!!!!
I have never felt in danger and in the deepest part of my heart I do not believe this was a client gone bad situation.
But this person is still out there and who knows what the story is all about. I have went from the emotion of I am quiting to I am strong and can't be touched by such a crime.
My decision is personal and is how I have decided to continue the work I love but to ensure my safety.
I am droping my rates dramatically. 100 per hour. My services will remain the exact same as they are now.
The CATCH...You have to be someone I have been with in the past. NO NEW CLIENTS!!!
Until I regain my confidence and feel that the water is safe again this will be in affect.
I may ge some drama over this decision. I have to work but I have to ensure my safety.
TO THE LADIES...I am available at all times and happy to give references. Please do not hesitate to call. I travel quiet abit as well so if anyoe is interested in joining me please send an email.
TO THE GENTS...Be strong and you be safe out there now as well. This might be a good time for you to NOT take one for the home team. Who knows what is lurking in the boards now.
I have thought about the 'friend' being on the premisis of where I work but I do not ever want to make my gents feel uncomfortable. Could I get some feed back on that?
could be nice for safety measures. I never thought of it in that aspect though I used to carry a stun gun from 20-24 (or so when it stopped working officially). I never did try it on myself. I did try ultra-violet device (multiple attachments) at a sex store up in NYC at Grinage Village. The store owner put it on my leg, arm, and back of my neck. Why cannot it be a perfect world like inside of that sex store that day with one of my NYC friends who took me there? Or,is that just the sub in my speaking?
As to your friend on premsises. My opinion is that if something drastic did happen, it would be too late to save you by the time he/she knew anything was going on. Whatever the attacker was going to do will have been done by the time he/she finds out. Then, it is up to him/her if they stick around (not be hurt themselves) to be a witness to whatever crime may have been committed. Risk factors determine rates in a lot of professions.
Well, I feel confident you have many items that you discipline others with to keep yourself safe in the event someone is lacking discipline too much for even the notorious dom you are to withstand.
I have been thinking bout this for a while as I have encountered many a freak in my fun lol.. I to would love to know what the gentlemen would think of such a thing... hugs deanna
your intuition. Keep a clear and clean mind so your intuition may work for you and not against you. End any potentially negative relationships where others have expectations outside of work for you (end those asap), limit who you are close with to those you can trust, and try to look simple with your demeanor. As though you do not have any commodity on your person. Stay away from any that uses drugs or that appear or act as though they may use drugs. Avoid those that are around others that use or have anything to do with drugs. Be very selective as to you who you are close to. Do not let a relationship go on that drags you into any drama at all. Focus on your business plan and be professional at all times.
The individual that was murdered is thought that her hotel room door was busted or kicked in by an individual using a hammer. Call 911 (if you can) if something like that starts to happen. The victim had been staying at this hotel since July. The scene has a lot of unplanned passion from the suspect. Maybe the suspect had feelings for her. There is blood on the rail outside of the hotel room. There was a nearby hit and run fatality at 11PM the night before the morning her body was found dead. There was also a suicide nearby the night before. It is also the holiday season where tragedy seems to occur more frequently. I hope justice is served.
Be careful with who you get close to in your life is what my intuition is telling me these days.
If I knew you I'd be swooning over the idea of you taking on no new clients. I would love that. It's like you're talking about having a fan club who has you all to themselves.
Your clients should double or triple the amount of times they see you if you are going that low on price.
Still, I've looked around these boards & links and have yet to see it anywhere about the two deaths being client-related. Am I missing something?
I don't think it matters...what does matter is that 2 providers have lost their lives.
No 1 person should think one is all alone that they can do something like this and getaway with it. Even in my personal life, there is always 1 person who knows what is going on, or what I am doing...I have a tendency, like many of us; to make mistakes...
I don't believe it should matter...we should still have a network of people we can call or contact when we are in need...no matter what!
I think of those left behind, and wonder who would be there to give them support? No one, because this is just a job? I truly hope not...Those who know me know they can trust me to be there for any support I can give them; whether it's business, personal, or private...
Well, I really hope that network of people is close by.
It would seem that security should be as big a focus as screening, since as you seem to illustrate, you don't get by doing everything yourself. And a provider may just as easily be violated by (who is in the next room listening?) others.
The thought of some (ex-WWF?) guy somewhere wired up nearby is not only a comfort to me, but a turn-on. In older times, I guess these were known as pimps, but nowadays, they could be made to have to come in and pay too!
But in all seriousness, it would seem that should be a real-life job opportunity. Meanwhile, it sounds like "not trying to do it all yourself" rests on unity and information-sharing.
Yes, why should it matter??? This is a business for some people and they should be able to do what ever they want to do in thier business. If a provider wants to lower her rates then thats her choice and so be it.... If a provider wants to not see any new clients then that is her proogative as well. It all boils down to feeling comfortable within yourself. Two ladies have lost their lives and yet it seems that we forget that. Do we really need the drama??? Maybe we should reflect on what good things we have and be happy that we are loved and alive. Life is to short, so lets enjoy each other and remember the fun times and forget the drama....
I don't have anyone wired up nearby...I don't have anything against those that run their businesses a different way, as long as the ladies are protected.
Something like a guild would be a good idea, and many don't realize these resources are there already...One must just know where to look.
I do everything by myself...research, develop, and test my own methods to ensure my safety, and the safety of my household and lifestyle. Those that I entrust, also know I can be trusted. The only gain I have is knowing we are safe...
I have spoken with several regarding the idea of a guild or network, but it would involve very much trust in the person who would oversee operations of such a magnificent idea...
It's being worked on...In the end, it is up to me. If I don't let someone know, no one will know...And that isn't a safe philosophy for many of the ladies out here...
Would it be safe enough for someone in your family? Because like it or not, this is a type of family...morally questionable, highly susceptible to ethical hypocrisy, definitely a marriage's nightmare...But we are all here for a purpose...I think we should protect that privilege, as unjust or raw as it may be...
bubbly, I still love ya!!!
Sofia P.S. Geez, I feel like I should be waving a flag with a bunch of condoms and $$$ signs on it...lol!!!
FYI, my ideas and suggestions are mostly out of sentiment. I have no idea how you people do what you do, which is part of what makes you so fascinating.
I didn't mean a pimp either, in regards to security. I had thought of a subordinate employee.
Glad to hear about a ladies network. The existence of such is of course, for the ladies. But I think we gents would be glad to know of its existence and well-being somehow.
Marriage nightmare? Now I might have to contest that one. Providers sure seem like a good way out of some REAL messy affairs that never know when to end. Just my .02 cents.
First, this was a terrible thing to happen ... to ANYONE ... at ANYTIME ... under ANY circumstances. I am sorry it happened at all.
Second - Ladies, do what you have to to be safe. You might want "too much" personal info for some people, but, if that's what makes you feel safe, then so be it. (There's one lady in Atlanta I would like to see, but we can't agree on this subject, so I lose out on seeing her. That's her choice, and I DO respect her for holding to her own guidelines.)
Third - I wish you all trusted each other (and got along better) to use a referral system. I know it's not perfect since a guy could be okay with one lady and then something happens to "set him off". But, at least you could know this guy was okay for someone else AND the referral system would know you were going to see him.
Some are talking about weapons now. This seems good and bad. Bad because that same weapon could be used against you. You'll have to make your own decision on that one, but it's like someone else already said - If you have one, make sure you are trained on how to use it, and use it well.
Rates - A strange item to be in this topic list, but FantasyRendered brought it up. If she sees safety in (I'll call it) "keeping to her own", then so be it. She seems to want to give them a price break for the safety and security she feels. (This kind of confirms an earlier argument I was making regarding a "value" in seeing "regulars".) I think that's good of her to recognize that and acknowledge it. (I would hope that the few ladies I've seen would also feel safe and secure with me, knowing I am not LE; remebering the kind and respectful way I treated them.)
I can't believe people are writing the anti-NRA mantra, "If you get a weapon it is going to be used against you". (And no I am not in the NRA) I know that isn't exactly what you guys are writing, but in the amount I have seen it that is what it is leading to. How simply chauvanistic since it is being written to the women here. That belief has been around since it was thought that women should stay barefoot and pregnant. The statistics show that yes, women can use weapons. Also, hey know what? They are in the military as well. Shocking isn't it? Do weapons get taken from them and used against them? Yes. The same thing happens to men as well. In both cases the percentage is in the single digits per year. These ladies work a VERY dangerous job and put their lives on the line everytime they do it. It seems some of responses here has been in the form of, "Let me tell you this or tell you that". Why can't we instead be supportive and say, "Whatever your choice of safety measures I will support and not lecture you on like a child". These ladies are adults, people. I think they fully understand what it means to protect themselves more than most women because of the nature of their chosen profession. Some of you guys have done a great job of being supportive, giving them viable options and all that done without any warnings that might scare them off or make them feel nervous in a horribly stressful time like this. I'm only writing about those that aren't doing so. Oh and the line, "The guy will get you no matter what your security measures are" that someone wrote... How misinformed. That is a half-truth. If the lady didn't think ahead and keep her "security measure" close to her or fight back with some sort of skill...then yes that is true. But in all other cases it isn't true. Give the female gender a little faith here folks! In fact I will. If any ladies reading this want a basically free (you would only help split the cost of the ammo we use, that is it, nothing else), no strings attached lesson in basic firearms respond to me on here and I will get in touch with you. I will help you through the process of understanding a gun, how to care for it, how to choose one perfect for you, how to choose the ammunition perfect for you and the basic rules of engagement. And when we are done you can go out and get you own gun. I am only offering a firearm lesson because I am good with mine. I am positive there are others out there better with physical fighting skills. Fighting skills are nessicary as well as having a weapon (whether it is a gun or spray or club). Both are needed and not just one. Anyway, that is my ranting for the day...
Yeah yeah...this is why they call it a rant. Anyway, I hit "post" before I could remember to put this up. I want to address the belief that you cannot have a weapon handy at ALL times. Here is one that will allow you to have some non-lethal protection that: will not be easily used against you; is very discrete; can be used while "doing the job" in most any position; etc...etc... Ladies, check this out and decide for yourself whether this would be good for you or not.
We live in a "disposable" society-everything is throw away-and that includes the value placed on human life, unfortunately. This was an unbelievable tragedy. Could it have been avoided? I'm not so sure....If someone has lost touch with reality, and has decided to take a life, can they be truly stopped? The description of the murder makes you think of the unbelievable anger that must have been stored inside the perpetrator of this horrific crime. Anger that may or may not have anything to do with the victim (wrong place/wrong time?). We have no control over what others do-but we can try and cut down on the odds that something bad could happen to us. Notice I said cut down-because there are never any guarantees....Carry weapons? Hell-you'd better know how to use it, be willing to use it, and have access to it in a moment's notice. Be a hero? B.S. Asses and elbows-that's what the person trying to hurt me would see as I got my scrawny butt out the door! What we must do is try and not place ourselves in situations that could turn ugly. Yes-this hobby places providers and clients in potentially dangerous situations all the time. As Sofia always stresses-SCREEN_SCREEN_SCREEN! Extended stay motels? Usually sleazy to begin with, not attracting the best clientele,and certainly not safe as far as anybody being able to go in and out at will. Hobbiests have the board to "screen" providers. I cannot imagine what it must be like for you ladies to get a call from Joe Blow and invite him into your private room-having NO idea what he's like. You MUST stick together. There's safety in numbers-as much as I dislike agencies, at least someone always knows where you are, and usually the ladies are not there by themselves.Violence, unfortunately, is part of American society. We must always be aware of the Potential for violence. That does not mean to be paranoid-it just means that we must accept the reality that it could happen, and try to find ways to cut down the risk of it happening to us by being aware of our surroundings and finding ways to avoid placing ourselves in environments where the potential is greater...
IMHO, weapons are only going to make things worse. Please let me know who is going this route so I can stay from them. I would be concerned seeing someone carrying weapon beacuse, it gives the one with weapons a false sense of security. Some how, they end up in jail trying to protect their lives. Not a good choice, in my view.
Third Point: is a lofty goal, it takes courage and implicitly knowing oneself to trust others. It is easy not to trust anyone than truting anyone. Why? We are trained not to trust all our life. Also goes along the lines, it is easy to be rude than nice and it is easy to become violent than staying away.
Fourth: Unlikely to happen. Had this discussion a few weeks ago, somehow the discussion converged on personal freedom and completely ignored the ratinale behind it. A case of; One can prove anything with absurd logic.
Use your good judgement and remember, you personally can't change anyone unless they want to change themselves and if they do, they will get professional help to do so.
Know many great female buddies in bad dysfunctional realtionships and I tell them the above. They haven't got it yet, may be one day!
bosstone wrote, "If someone has lost touch with reality, and has decided to take a life, can they be truly stopped?"
The answer is YES! Where in the world did our society get the idea that they couldn't be stopped? It is THAT idea that keeps people "minding their own business"...minding it soo well they can't even pick up a phone to call the police when they hear pounding on a door and glass breaking. People intent on killing are stopped everyday! By the police, by security guards and by normal average everyday citizens! Why do I keep on seeing soo many posts telling the ladies "If it is going to happen, it will happen, so just accept it". That is NOT true ladies! You are stronger and more able to protect yourselves than what society is leading you to believe! The first step in ALL of this is to believe with all of your heart that that is true! Ignore all those to tell you "you can't" or "just accept it", and pay attention to those who say "I believe in you and you CAN!"
The frustrated and not so friendly anymore neighborhood, WillOrWill
Read what I wrote again. In no way am I saying, as you so wonderfully paraphrased," If it is going to happen, it will happen, so just accept it." Rather, I was saying that the ladies need to feel empowered. To understand a reality that you seem to ignore, namely-we have no control over what others do. We can try and control the environment-but we cannot make anyone do something they don't want to do. Our control is over ourselves-not others. As far as saying that people intent on killing are stopped everyday-by police-by security guards-by everyday citizens. Let me ask you- when was the last time that you had a session with a lady and ANY of those people were sitting there in the room with you? There are risks all the time. What we need to do is control the environment so as to lessen the odds that something bad could happen-control where we meet people, make sure friends, etc, know wherec we are, and yes-learn self-defense or carry weapons if that makes you feel better. Just don't get so complacent that you begin to feel that since I carry a weapon, I'm not vulnerable....
"We can try and control the environment-but we cannot make anyone do something they don't want to do."
Wrong. When someone wants to rob you they point a gun or shove a knife at you and get you to give over you money. Do you want to give over you money? No, but you do anyway because you want to live. Therefore they get you to do something you do not want to. To believe that one cannot make others do what they want will hurt you in a life or death situation. How is that "ignoring" reality? There was a case in Tx where a woman's house was broken into. The man told her in no uncertain terms he would rape and then kill her. In fact he used it to taunt her to scare her more since he had done it several times before. She used her wits though, convinced him to use a condom and also to NOT kill her. During that situation she was able to distract him enough where she contacted the police and they got him. So yes, yes you can get someone to do what you want. Maybe not all of it in the position of a victim with no measure of self-defense available, but enough to keep you alive even if defenseless.
"as far as saying that people intent on killing are stopped everyday-by police-by security guards-by everyday citizens. Let me ask you- when was the last time that you had a session with a lady and ANY of those people were sitting there in the room with you?"
To the first point. Are you saying people with that intent AREN'T stopped by those type of people? So all of those people like Manson and Malvo in jail are just some weird imagination of mine? Whatever... To the second point. Now you are paraphrasing badly. A lot of guys here have said to the ladies that if they were in a bad situation that they should run, yell, get attention from any and everybody around. But have you seen any of the new reports? Everybody was "minding their own business" because of the mentality of, "I don't want to get involved" and "It is none of my business". All that stems from a general lack of caring AND a belief that they couldn't have made a difference anyway or that they could have gotten hurt themselves. But think what a difference could have been made if someone called? Think what a change in the current situation could have been made if someone actually tried to make a difference? Yes, you might say that during a "session" what you say makes sense. I agree with you. But we have to break out of the "session" mentality and start working towards a broader understanding that these ladies we care about are more of a target in ALL situations. How so? Because of their general exposure on the internet (the topic of pictures being posted was brought up), the fact that many believe they have lots of cash on them (in their room or walking to a car), the fact that many mentaly ill people specifically target them because of their line of work (the guy who came over to fufill a fantasy of his) and many other reasons! One simply cannot look these ladies in the eye and truthfully say that they should only be worried about things "during". They should be worried about it at all times. Yes, security and police are not in the rooms when sessions occur. But in this case they could have been called, should have been called earlier. In this case it took the guy time to get in. Time that could have been used by LE to be in route to her. As you said we need to "empower" these ladies. My comments were directed to your statement of:
"Carry weapons? Hell-you'd better know how to use it, be willing to use it, and have access to it in a moment's notice. Be a hero? B.S. Asses and elbows-that's what the person trying to hurt me would see as I got my scrawny butt out the door!"
Tell me how that reading that doesn't sound like you are trying to dissuade the ladies from carrying a weapon of some sort? As to being a hero. It isn't being a hero. It is surviving. It is trying to live. Sometimes you cannot run. Sometimes you have to stand and fight because there is NO other way. How can that work if one isn't armed in some fashion? Explain that to me please.
You replied, "Why can't we instead be supportive and say, "Whatever your choice of safety measures I will support and not lecture you on like a child"."
I think my - "You'll have to make your own decision on that one..." covers that quite well.
You also wrote, "If any ladies .. want .. lesson in basic firearms .. understanding a gun .. basic rules of engagement. .. Fighting skills are nessicary as well .. Both are needed ..."
Just something else I mentioned ... "If you have one, make sure you are trained on how to use it, and use it well."
I guess you were "going off" in general, and not just at me.
Myself, I believe in the right to own guns. I may disagree with some about a waiting period and a good background check, but not with the basic right to own a firearm. You seem to be giving the ladies the very same cautions (advice) ... get training, including close-up self-defense training. That's all a lot of us were saying.
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