As part of my duties as a Federation Security Investigator (Apprentice Level 3), I had the opportunity to schedule a meeting with two of our Atlanta ladies. They are known as "Candace and Sidney". I went to meet them alone. (I know this was a mistake. I should have investigated them one at a time, or I should have taken reinforcements.)  After further investigation, much consideration and consultation, I now think they are an alien life form (with a mission yet unknown) - with the capability to turn every male human into a blob of ether-less protoplasm!!

The Federation has declared a Level 1 Emergency - These two are  OFF LIMITS  until further notice.

I have been assigned the dubious task of reconnaissance. I will be scheduling some follow-up visits, working undercover to try to gain more information as to their motives and methods ...

I will keep you advised ... If I don't come back, another brave volunteer may be needed ...

Far be it for me to  start any controversy......  BUT- get real! ...."I should have investigated them one at a time...."

I doubt this impostor is even with the federation! **We are  calling  Darth Vader right now and checking his story out** Until you are notified otherwise, disregard this obviously fraudulent post. Atlanta Mike was last seen breathing & fine. Well, ok but he was breathing.... and I believe he did mumble bye & thanks. He had been completely  re-hydrated with pure fruit and H2O. -AND- He was standing. We also have witnesses,
(*I am hers & she is mine*) He was completely coherent when he left us.

PLUS this impostor doesn't even have the story correct! Atlanta Mike has investigated half of the alleged party independent and reported back fine.  As I recall he made no mention of the glowing gills that he had developed (*It aides in the breathing*)  Nor is there any documented reports of any improper conduct! Ever, anywhere..... I am sticking to my story, let  the interrogation begin. I am so wayyyy innocent, innocent I tell you.....   kisses  Candace


-- Modified on 11/20/2004 7:23:55 AM

I'd say probably Guilty!! And not by association. You seem to be the ring leader when these things occur Candace. I still  luv ya but YOU ARE BAD. poor lucky bastard. -D

I have been in the Federation's employ since 1990, although I have just recently been assigned the task of monitoring these deceptive alien life forms. They mimic our normal earthly patterns (like eating, talking, sex, etc.), but seem to go to extremes in some matters. That is what makes them obvious.

The ones I met with are known to go to extremes regarding sweet tea, for instance, and their sexual activites.

I may indeed have been standing, but was lucky to escape with enough energy to get home. These ladies are not to be taken lightly. Approach with caution. Be prepared. (Some say - Eat Your Wheaties!)

This prior post was obviously made to confuse the issues. Two things gave it away - (1) Atlanta Mike has never been known to be "coherent", and (2) the one known as Candace being "innocent" ... HAH !!

Did I say "Thanks" ??  You bet I did.

Something fishy is going on here.

First, atlantamike says "Warning, Will Robinson!! Warning!!"

Then he says he's from the "Federation".

I'm no Inspector Gadget, but what the hay?!?  We've got mixed star systems here, ladies and borgs!

Will Robinson = "Lost In Space"

Federation = "Star Trek"

There you have it!! atlantamike's charade is exposed!!!  He doesn't even know what friggin' star system he's in.

Next he'll be telling us that he's got to talk to The Big Giant Head (ha ha)!!!

Nannoo nannoo, didn't you already talk to the big giant head????
LOLOLO

Are you sure it wasn't Davros?

Ha Ha!!

I was wondering if (a) anyone would catch the "mixture" of my terms, or (b) if anyone would care ...

Of course, I can blame it all on how my mind is all scrambled now due to the "activities" of the two ladies ... I mean the term "mind-blowing" is having new meaning with me now ...

(Actually, Will Robinson joined the Federation after he and his family were rescued ...)

OK so like.... no one ever even mentioned this to you in the past? Oh yeah ok we believe that! PLUS..... when you are told: "Come into my parlor said the spider to the fly"  and you enter, not just by your own accord BUT enthusiastic well you knew what you were getting into. Everyone in Atlanta, the majority of the Men with common sense in DC and some of Philadelphia know Candace is a strange one. Then as far as the sweet one Sidney, well when she wears no panties because she is tied of them being so wet.....  there ya go! And we so appreciate the "OFF LIMITS" declaration......  any bad boys just aching to violate the safe ground and proper places to be this week?  *LOL*  Now go on back to your Island, or Galaxy or cubical and rest up. Just one last question MR Mike guy......  wasn't that you running past my Triathlon neighbor yesterday when he was doing his regular 6 mile run???? hummmmm seems a little more to your story than you are telling!

You were getting to be so believable ... and then you go and say that "Mr. Mike" was running past a TriAthlete !!!  Hah!  AtlantaMike is rarely accused of actually running. He may be able to do 6, or even 10 miles, but he's just a slow jogger. He only passes people that are soon to collapse, or have stopped to tie their shoes. (Okay - He did have this "just ate the cat" grin on his face when he was last seen jogging ...)

So close.

Anyway, he told me what a great time he had (even though he's doing all this "complaining").

No panties??  Hey - That's a Great Start! It sounds like a move toward a more-efficient model .. I mean, if the clothes are coming off anyway ...

I think that AtlMike was probably on horseback, if he was leaving the "Ranch". I'm afraid that cowboy was just too weary to run!

...And why ya gotta be like dat?...  Just dragging us into it!! Then you add the horse and a cowboy......  gheez makes people wonder just what kinda' place we're a runnin!   LMAO, on the floor and rollin around too.

Awww, cut the intrepid explorer some slack.  He bravely ventured into the lair of She Who Drains The Life Force From Her Men. (In the low budget movie LifeForce, Patrick Stewart appears, pre-jean Luc Picard, so yet another mixed galactic reference).

I drank water for 48 hours prior to my meeting w/ Candace, at her recommendation, and I was still parched when she brought me a bottled water, just before she explained "I'm not nearly through with you yet..."

The Ranch was closed down for remodeling ...

But, there were a couple of really nice fillies there ...

REALLY NICE !!